Category Archives: sports

Jay Bruce Is The Next Pete Rose

I haven’t seen any baseball player make such an instant impact on a team in my lifetime. The Cincinnati Reds called up the #1 prospect earlier this week and it makes you wonder why they started out the year with Corey Patterson in centerfield. In Jay Bruce’s first five games, he is 11 for 19 with a hand-full of walks and today had a walk-off homer in extra innings. Bruce was hitting well over .300 in the minors and seemed to use every excuse to not give him a call-up. Dusty Baker doesn’t like to play rookie position players, but looks like Bruce gave the Reds no chance to leave him in the minors. Bruce has excellent plate discipline, above average power, very good speed, and can play good defense in centerfield.

I haven’t seen Cincinnati be this excited about a player since Charlie Hustle was donning a Reds uniform. With the young talent the Reds have, this team could become very dangerous for many years to come. Edinson Volquez, Joey Votto, Johnny Cueto, and Bruce makes up some nice pieces for the future. If the Reds can trade Dunn and Griffey for some blue-chip prospects, this Reds team could make a run at the pennant in the very near future. Let’s hope Dusty Baker doesn’t go all “Wood and Prior” on Volquez and Cueto. They need to make sure they don’t overuse these young arms up and make the Disabled List All-Stars like Kerry Wood and Mark Prior was for a few years.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

David Stern Just Got A Boner!

The Boston Celtics just defeated the Detroit Pistons in Game 6 Of the Eastern Conference Finals tonight and everyone will have the Lakers/Celtics Finals that they hoped for. The NBA Finals ratings have been down over the last five years, even with Lebron James in it last year. David Stern must be in an euphoric state with these two basketball franchises playing for the championship. There are so many storylines that will carry this series. Will KG finally win a championship? Can Kobe win a championship without Shaq? Can Phil Jackson pass Red Auerbach as the coach with the most rings, against the very team Red loved so dearly? Can Doc Rivers actually coach?

It’s a good time to be NBA Commissioner. The New York Knicks can only get better, the Bulls have the #1 pick, and the young stars of the league don’t seem to be getting into trouble as much as NFL stars. He probably even takes vacations in the offseason, something the NFL, MLB, and NHL leaders can’t afford to do.

Let’s hope the Lakers/Celtics will rekindle the rivalry that carried the league in the 1980s. I was a fan of the Celtics/Pistons rivalry, but that only happened in the Eastern Conference Finals, maybe Kobe/Garnett will become this generation’s Magic/Bird.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

I Guess Chicago Will Draft Michael Jordan?!

I am just as confused as you, but the Chicago Bulls re-hired Doug Collins as their head coach. The last time Collins coached the Bulls, Jordan was a young man without any championship rings. Collins led them to the Finals and he was canned and Phil Jackson was hired.

Chicago is a very nostalgic city. They love their history, Al Capone, Dick Butkus, Brian Urlacher. The Bulls hiring Collins is overdoing it a little. I now wouldn’t be surprised if Lovie Smith is fired and the Bears hire Mike Ditka. Collins is known for his defense and having low-scoring teams, I don’t think Derrick Rose will work in that kind of offense. Michael Beasley would best fit the system that Collins’ coaching style.

Doug Collins, who has been an analyst for TNT the last few years, is best known for having Michael Jordan on his team and STILL not being able to win a championship. I have lost all interest in who Chicago will pick #1, their talent will be lost with Doug Collins as head coach.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

NBA Draft Lottery, Who’s Lucky, Punk?

I can’t believe the NBA still does this, but they let ping-pong balls determine who will have the top pick in the draft. I’m not a fan of the process, the NFL’s draft order is pretty solid, but I can see why the NBA don’t want their teams tanking at the end of the season to draft higher. This process let San Antonio have the chance to obtain Tim Duncan, after David Robinson was injured the previous year. They won the draft and they have been unstoppable, err, every other year.

I hope the Miami Heat don’t win the lottery tonight. The Heat reminds me of the Spurs situation with Duncan, since Wade was injured for most of the year and their bad season is probably jusst a one-year situation. The Knicks need this #1 pick the most, but if the Supersonics win, look for them to be a pre-season favorite to be in the playoffs. If you add Derrick Rose or Michael Beasley to to Jeff Green and Kevin Durant, you will compete in the Western Conference within two year. Oklahoma City are currently drooling, they will have a new franchise with instant success.

My prediction for the top 3 picks are: Seattle Supersonics, Miami Heat, and New York Knicks. Although, I would like to see the Pacers up there, since they have no player worth the price of admission or the Chicago Bulls get a high lottery pick, I don’t see it happening.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Ryan Braun Is Milwaukee’s Best

The Milwaukee Brewers should think about starting Ryan Braun’s season in mid-May every season. They called him up last year in mid-May for his rookie season and he hit the cover off the ball for the rest of the season. He won the National League Rookie Of the Year award easily and helped the Brewers to their best record since Robin Yount wore yellow and blue. Braun’s 2008 season wasn’t anything spectacular, until this week. He has hit six homers and batted over .500 over the past week.

As a Cubs fan, this is something I didn’t want to see from Braun. As a fan of the game of baseball, I love it. I think the baseball needs a few more young players that could possibly carry the game like Lebron James and Sidney Crosby does for their sport.

Braun signed an extension this week that will keep him in Milwaukee until Miley Cyrus is cold enough to buy alcohol. I think it is good to see some of the smaller market teams invest in their younger talent, rather than trade them before their contracts end for new prospects. If the Brewers can hang onto their core players from this young team, they will be a force in the National League and could contend make Milwaukee relive their past success with homegrown talent (Paul Molitor and Robin Yount).

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Bonds Lied About Steroids? What?!

The federal perjury case against Barry Bonds just got a whole lot bigger. The judge wanted to revise the charges against Bonds and charge him for each falsehood (that’s judge talk for lie) that Bonds allegedly said under oath when he testified for a grand jury. He was just facing four charges, but they didn’t feel like lumping them together would work in their favor.

I think this is the smartest move since Brown v. Board of Education. It’s like if you were going 15mph over the speed limit and the cop hands you 15 tickets for each mile you were over the speed limit. If it were up to me, Bonds would have 762 federal charges against him, one for each home-run.

Are you worried Barry?Yeah, didn’t think so.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Okay, I Don’t Want To Live In Cleveland

I am retracting my story from earlier, you can CLICK HERE view my earlier story. I wanted to live in Cleveland, just for one day, so I could enjoy the 23 cent Papa John’s pizza. It turns out that everybody wanted some pizza yesterday. Some people stood in line over 5 hours for some pizza and in Euclid, OH, riots ensued and the police had to be called.

Papa John’s corporation sent out a memo to their franchises and said that the stores could close their doors once 900 pies were sold. It looks like that could end up being a short night for some stores.

I don’t think that I would wait in line for more than 30 minutes for even a free pizza. I do love Papa John’s pizza, but I’ve got better things to do, kind of.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

2008 Un-All-Star Team

We’re almost 40 games into the season and I’ve noticed that some big names are hitting below or hovering around .200 batting average. Some big names are off to some horrible starts this season. I have never seen a year like this before. You have your usual slow-starters (Robinson Cano) and you have your usually consistent players (Gary Sheffield) not serving their team very well.

I made up an UN-All-Star team, this team is made up of everyday players that are hitting below the Mendoza line of .200 or almost.

Infield
Rickie Weeks .195
Robinson Cano .157
Kenju Johjima .189
Ben Broussard .159
Johnny Estrada .179
Casey Blake .202
Ryan Howard .168

Outfield
Andruw Jones .158
Alfonso Soriano .177
Nick Swisher .196
Jose Guillen .165
Jim Edmunds .172
Michael Bourn .194

Designated Hitter (barely)
Gary Sheffield .176
Jose Vidro .192
Jim Thome .209
Jason Giambi .157

I can slightly understand why some position players can get off to a slow start, especially in cold weather, but designated hitters? David Ortiz would have joined this list, but he is now hitting .226, which is much better than a week ago.

Andruw Jones should spend some time on the bench. The Dodgers can’t let Juan Pierre sit on the pine if Jones isn’t going to hit. The Dodgers are already looking for ways to get out of his contract, they are thankful that Scott Boras didn’t talk them into a long-term deal. They should have known better, anyone could have seen this coming from his horrible performance last year.

Also, some honorable mentions to this list include Ken Griffy Jr, Adam Dunn, and Carlos Pena. These players are hitting over .200, but dangerously close. Those three guys will all probably hit at least 30 homers this season, but unless they heat up with the weather, I don’t see their averages being very good.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Jon Kitna Counts To 10, Receives Cookie

Jon Kitna made a bold prediction last year by predicting 10 wins for the 2007 season. He didn’t do himself any favors by saying that his “expectations” are 10 wins this season. He later mentioned that every player should have those expectations, but sadly Kitna is the only one that seems to make the 10-win declarations. I think the only person that feels as strong as Kitna about their team is Joe “The Lions Are Decent” Pasquali, his picture is at the end of the article.

Kitna better worry more about keeping his job than counting wins this season. Since Mike Martz left to go to San Francisco, this offense will be in need of a more consistent, conservative quarterback. Jim Colletto is the Lions’ new offensive coordinator and he is known to run the ball, which is something Martz clearly didn’t know how to do. Kitna has some competition on the roster with Dan Orlovsky and Drew Stanton. He will likely share snaps in camp until a starter is named before the season.

Here is a picture of Joe, he looks as lost as Kitna does running the offense.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Mike D’Antoni Loves His Mustache

The Knicks, Bulls, and Raptors (who currently have a head coach), are all giddy that the Phoenix Suns gave Mike D’Antoni permission to talk to other teams. The Chicago Bulls were the first to talk with with D’Antoni, but no word on any possible deal. The Knicks seem to be in love with Mark Jackson, so I don’t see him getting hired in the Big Apple. The only reason the Raptors are interested in him is because Bryan Colangelo, son of Phoenix sports mogul Jerry Colangelo, knows that D’Antoni’s style may work in Toronto. Colangelo recreated the Raptors into a high-tempo offense with a highly European roster. D’Antoni would have the Phoenix Suns of the East, also T.J. Ford looks a lot like Steve Nash running the offense.

I am not sold on Mike D’Antoni has a big-time head coach. I will admit that when he took over the position in Phoenix, he made that team actually watchable. I would keep it tuned to any game the Suns would play on television; I’m a sucker for offense. I would like to know if D’Antoni knows who to play defense in the NBA. He doesn’t seem to think that he needs to stop the other team, he will just outscore them, even if the score approaches 120 each night. That kind of style will wear a team down and by the time they reach the playoffs, they’re out of gas (Note the last three seasons).

The Chicago Bulls have set themselves up to build their team through defense. Most of the team have already had great coaches (Coach K, Roy Williams, Billy Donovan), so they have proven they are coachable. Ben Gordon is an offensive machine, but they will not keep him next year. I’m looking at the roster and unless they draft someone who can shoot the lights out or pull the trigger on a major trade, who will carry the offense for the Bulls? I don’t see Joakim Noah putting up 20 points like Amare Stoudemire, but Tyrus Thomas could mature into something comparable. This would be a stretch if D’Antoni goes to Chicago. They are in the Eastern Conference and Atlanta made the playoffs this season, anything can happen.Mike D’Antoni has been sporting a mustache since before the 24-second shot clock. You have to give props to a man who stays consistent.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Mike Tirico Is A Pun Machine

While announcing the Lakers/Jazz playoff game today, Tirico recapped the earlier games of the day. When doing the play-by-play of the Celtics/Hawks Game 7 highlights, Tirico used a pun that should be either be retired or put in the Pun Hall of Fame. He said, “Boston creamed Atlanta 99-65.” I instantly had a visual of the entire Celtics team throwing Boston Cream pies at the Hawks team after their elimination from the playoffs.

If you think that this pun was great, just wait until Tirico unleashes some of the following puns.

“Cleveland steams the Detroit Tigers.”
“University of Pennsylvania dutched Yale University.”
“Buffalo winged the New York Jets.”
“University of California pizza-kitchens Oregon State.”
“Utah mormoned the Houston Rockets.”
“Kansas City barbecues the Cleveland Indians.”
“Cincinnati bowties the Pittsburgh Pirates”
“Chicago deep-dished the Milwaukee Bucks.”
“St. Louis arched over the Chicago Cubs.”
“University of Wisconsin cheesed Penn State.”

More to come…leave a comment

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Marvin Harrison, A Thug?

I know I will have to update this post when even more information comes out about this shooting involving Marvin Harrison’s gun. Allegedly, a patron of a restaurant that Harrison co-owns came in and the two had a heated argument. Harrison allegedly beat him up with his “ninja fists” and then people shot up the patron’s car. The man had a bullet hit his hand and apparently some young child was cut my flying glass.

I can’t even imagine a story like this coming out about Marvin Harrison. I have been a life-long Colts fan and I honestly can’t even remember a time where Harrison even looked mad on the field, the man barely talks. As a fan, I hope that someone has some facts crossed up. I will update with more information as it comes in.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.