Category Archives: sports

Chad Johnson Has A Torn Labia?!

I enjoy sports talk radio a lot. I listen to it in the car on the way to work and on long road trips. I even listen to sports talk podcasts on my computer at home. In Columbus, Ohio, 1460AM The Fan, is the ESPN Radio station that I listen to. They only play the first two hours of “The Herd” and they substitute the last hour of that program with their own local show called “The Mid-Day Show.” I hate this because I love Colin Cowherd, I believe he is current and very smart, something either of the hosts on “The Mid-Day Show” doesn’t have. The show used to be called “Spielman On Sports,” which starred former Ohio State and NFL football player, Chris Spielman. They changed the show’s format some time ago and it hasn’t been the same ever since.

Mike Ricordati and Scott Torgerson are the hosts of “The Mid-Day Show” and I have the extreme discomfort enough to have my lunch hour the same time they are on WBNS 1460AM The Fan. They have done everything from calling out 19-year old kids on Ohio State football team who get DUIs by calling them “pieces of crap” to possibly the best error I’ve ever heard on sports talk radio.

Chad Johnson of the Cincinnati Bengals was injured during a pre-season game. He was diagnosed with having a “torn labrum,” which is in the shoulder. Mike Ricordati started talking about the injury and confuses “labrum” with “labia,” which is the external part of the female genitalia. I want to believe that it was a slip of the tongue, but he is a White Sox fan, so he may not know what a labia is at all. I’m sure Chad Johnson would love to learn that a two-bit sports talk host on AM radio in Columbus thinks he has female genitalia.

Ochocinco would point a different finger at Ricordati

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A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Michael Phelps Is A Dolphin

I am very excited to witness history tonight, but someone should check Michael Phelps for a blow-hole and/or gills. I know the kid looks like the bastard son of Eli Manning and Jim from “The Office,” but he is a beast. What he did in these Olympics is just staggering. The last time an American Olympian garnered this kind of buzz was Michael Johnson back in ’96 or maybe the Dan vs. Dave ad campaign that kind of hit the fan.

Phelps got his 8th gold medal at the Beijing Olympics tonight and he needed his fellow team members to help him. Not only did he have 8 gold medals, he broke 7 world records in the process. He will be the next Lance Armstrong, meaning that he will be America’s Superhero. He will have to decide what cause he will be backing and what color bracelet he will choose to sell.

The final total for Michael Phelps in his Olympic career is 16 total medals, 14 of them being gold. He is still a young man, so the 2012 Olympics could be in his future. I feel like he should always wear American flag clothing from this point on. Look for him to start dating a famous actress within the next calendar year.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

A-Rod – Desperate Housewives Edition

There are reports that Alex Rodriguez and have allegedly split up. I can’t say that this is surprising, but for a extremely rich athlete who is in the public eye as A-Rod is, it’s hard to keep a marriage together. There are rumors that A-Rod has been seeking the solace of Madonna and his wife has been spending a lot of time with Lenny Kravitz. Really? Is A-Rod imitating Jose Canseco’s career to a tee? Canseco was link with Madonna years ago and both have also been linked to a certain “pharmaceutical” craze in baseball as well.

I can’t remember a more polarizing figure in baseball than Alex Rodriguez. Curt Schilling is very polarizing, but the Red Sox are a lovable team and it saves him from receiving even more scrutiny than he already does. Schilling has one thing going for him, he’s actually had success in the post-season, something A-Rod hasn’t accomplished. The next time the Yankees make the post-season, A-Rod can do himself a favor and carry his team to a World Series championship and save himself from a lot of the bad press he receives.

I think being single could be a good thing for Rodriguez. Imagine what kind of action he could get with Derek Jeter working as a wingman or “bro.” He can take care of a slump the old fashion way and take one for the team, a.k.a. “Slumpbuster.”

Suit Up!

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Suit Up! – The 2008 NBA Draft Analysis

The NBA Draft is now officially over and every team has forgotten about the disappointment of last season and are excited for a new season. A new trend may have started this year, I didn’t see any funky suits. What happened to the Jalen Rose and Hakeem Olajuwon? The only suit that I could take a swing at was the suit O.J. Mayo wore. It was a 3-piece suit, but it was super tight and appeared to be a bit short on him.

Also, I would like to note that this year’s “Best Hair Award” goes to Robin Lopez. Any hair that is barely dented by a hair, gets a trophy. Here is my recap of this year’s lottery selections.

1 – Bulls – Derrick Rose, Memphis , PG – No surprise here, we’ve known that he was going here for awhile. He should have a decent season this year, but the team still needs a few more pieces to compete with Boston and Detroit.

2 – Heat – Michael Beasley, Kansas State,PF – I am still a little shocked about this one. All the news you heard from Miami pre-draft was how this guy wasn’t their guy, but they still picked him. I guess it still seems a little fishy, unless it was all political and was trying to bait a trade. Beasley will fit well with Wade and Marion and they will have a much better season this year.

3 – Grizzlies – O.J. Mayo, USC, G – Minnesota did a good job in picking Mayo, but maybe a move was trading him away. The T-wolves received Kevin Love and Mike Miller, which will help a young team. Mayo can play the 1 or 2 and is a very versatile player, but with Mike Conley at the point, Mayo will look to fill the 2 spot. Look for Mayo to do well out of the gate and make Memphis, but they are still a few drafts away from filling the void that Pau Gasol left.

4 – Sonics – Russell Westbrook, UCLA, G – Westbrook was the perfect pick for the Sonics. He can defend, which was a serious need for the Sonics, plus he can help run the offense and get the ball to Durant.

5 – Timberwolves – Kevin Love, UCLA, PF – I didn’t think Love would go this high, but Minnesota finagled a trade with Memphis for the big man who can hit full-court shots. Kevin McHale still needs a lot for the T-wolves to be competitive, but this move looks like a smart one. Minnesota knows that they have a lot of work ahead of them, but for now, the Love/Jefferson combo in the post will drive defenses crazy. Good move McHale, it will take about ten of these moves for the people of Minnesota to forget about KG.

6 – Knicks – Danilo Gallinari, Italy, SF – Time will only tell if this pick will be a good one. His success depends on his ability to handle the pressure of playing in New York. The analysts are comparing Gallinari with Toni Kukoc and Dirk Nowitzki, but don’t they usually compare any big European who has a jumpshot with those guys?

7 – Clippers – Eric Gordon, Indiana, G – As you may already know, “America’s White Boy” have been critical of Eric Gordon in the past. Gordon reminds us of Sam Cassell-type of player who can score in bunches. Cassell had success with the Clippers, in the short time he was there. If Gordon can put together a full season, the Clippers made a good pick here.

8 – Bucks – Joe Alexander, West Virginia, SF – The Bucks were in love with Alexander for a long time now. This pick didn’t come as a surprise to anyone. They drafted three small-forwards in this year’s draft. Tou have to think that they will be good at that position for a few seasons. By the way, “Vanilla Sky” is the best nickname of any draft prospect since Fred Hoiberg’s “The Mayor.”

9 – Bobcats – D.J. Augustin, Texas, PG – A definite surprise here from the Bobcats. Charlotte is trying to trade Raymond Felton and by selecting Augustin, you have the exact opposite of Felton. Augustin isn’t going to be a big-time scorer, but he can handle the ball and run the offense much better.

10 – Nets – Brook Lopez, Stanford, C – “I know the Nets really like Brook Lopez,” that is how I started out my preview for this pick, but I never thought Lopez would be undrafted at this point. The Nets have had a really good day. They picked up Bobby Simmons and Yi for Richard Jefferson, which is making them much more physical. The Nets have needed a frontline scorer since Kenyon Martin left, Lopez fills the need.

11 – Blazers – Jerryd Bayless, Arizona, PG – The Pacers originally picked Bayless, but traded the pick with Ike Diogu to Portland for the #13 pick (Brandon Rush), Jarrett Jack, and Josh McRoberts. The GM for Portland has looked like a genius the last couple seasons, so I can’t really second-guess any of his decisions at this point. Portland will be a contender in the West next season, with or without a healthy Greg Oden.

12 – Kings – Jason Thompson, Rider, PF – Thompson is one of those under-the-radar type of guys, so this was surprising that he would be picked this high. They really needed a point guard, but without Bayless or Augustin available, they had to go with Thompson’s upside. I don’t see him being a factor the next season or two.

13 – Pacers – Brandon Rush, Kansas, SG – (see Pick #11) The Pacers have been in need of a shooting guard since the retirement of Reggie Miller. Rush is a good defender and is a proven winner. He has great size (6’7) and should give other guards troubles with defending his shot. The Pacers traded Bayless for Rush and gained a player that seemed more NBA-ready.

14 – Warriors – Anthony Randolph, LSU, PF – I thought the Warriors would pick Mario Chalmers with this pick, but NBA teams seemed to fall out of love with him. Instead of picking for need, the Warriors picked the next best prospect on the board with Randolph. I don’t understand the logic behind this pick since they drafted a clone of Randolph last season (Brandan Wright). They both are tall, but both need to get much, much stronger. Randolph is 6’10 and only 197lbs, he will end up in the D-League the next two seasons and it would still take a lot of hard work for him to live up to being a lottery pick.

After all the trades shake out, look for a “Draft Winners and Losers” post.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Josh McRoberts Is Still In The NBA?

As I predicted, kind of, the Pacers would get another white boy on the team by the end of the night. I predicted that it would either be Kosta Koufos or Joe Alexander, but it turns out to be Josh McRoberts. Yep, the same McRoberts that should have went pro out of high school, but went to Duke and collected dust for two years and watched his draft stock plummet. He spent last season with Portland, but mostly on their D-League team roster.

The Pacers obtained McRoberts as a “throw-in” with the Jerryd Bayless/Ike Diogu for Jarret Jack/Brandon Rush trade. I didn’t find out that McRoberts was even involved until I was looking around on the internet and his name was mentioned last.

Josh McRoberts “could” end up being an average player in the NBA, but I am not sure where he will play. He still has one more season of D-League eligibility left, that’s always an option I guess. He grew up in Indianapolis and played at Carmel High School, where he won basically every National Player Of The Year awards you can win. One could assume that with him coming back home, he might be relaxed and play up to his potential.

He has been linked, in the past, with Lauren Conrad from “Laguna Beach” and “The Hills” fame. She is in the picture above with him, but she was too ashamed to be photographed. Sadly, I would also use something to cover my face if I were to ever be in a photograph with Mr. McRoberts…ask me this time next year and I could change my opinion.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Predictions – 2008 NBA Draft

The NBA Draft is Thursday night and like everyone else, I’ve made my predictions. I am getting ready for the horrible suits, the draft picks making David Stern look like Verne Troyer, the analysts faking amazement, a foreign guy being selected in the 2nd round that no one knows, and the New York Knicks making a mockery of the entire process. The talent in the draft is very deep this year, so I am looking for a lot of trades.

1. Bulls – Derrick Rose, Memphis , PG – I don’t see any other scenario that the Bulls will not select Rose. Unless some offer comes available that they can’t refuse, Rose will be back home in Chicago.

2. Heat – Michael Beasley, Kansas State,PF – I know the Heat have been baiting the #2 pick out there to tempt a trade. Whoever ends up trading the Heat for this pick, will pick Beasley. If the Heat decide to keep it, look for either O.J. Mayo or Jerryd Bayless’s name to be called.

3. Twolves – O.J. Mayo, USC, G – Minnesota was unlucky during the Lottery draft, but they could end up with something really nice here. Mayo is a scorer and will help distribute the ball to Al Jefferson, who is bound to have a break-out season.

4. Sonics – Jerryd Bayless, Arizona, G – Bayless is one of those names that is on the rise the week before the draft. He did well in the individual workouts

5. Grizzlies – Eric Gordon, Indiana, G – I was a huge fan of Gordon at the beginning of the college season last year, but then he fell off. I know he had a wrist injury that bothered him, but I think he has a bit of an attitude and didn’t take to Dan Dakich after Sampson was dismissed. He could end up being a Gilbert Arenas-like player, but he could also end up being Shawn Respert.

6. Knicks – Danilo Gallinari, Italy, SF – I know there is history between D’Antoni and Gallinari’s father, but it would be hard for the Knicks to pass up on Russell Westbrook here too. Gallinari would be playing David Lee’s position and we like Lee a lot.

7. Clippers – Russell Westbrook, UCLA, G – The Clippers are in need of a point guard and this seems to be a pretty good fit. They need someone to distribute the ball to a healthy Elton Brand. If Bayless is still here, I could see them taking him or moving up to acquire Bayless.

8. Bucks – Joe Alexander, West Virginia, SF – I know the Pacers would love to have Alexander, but he will not fall to #11. Alexander is a high-energy guy that should play well with Andrew Bogut and Yi.

9. Bobcats – Brook Lopez, Stanford, C – I know Kevin Love is still available, but Lopez would fit with Emeka Okafor a little better. The duo of Okafor/Lopez would be a defensive show every night. I could see them being a David Robinson/Tim Duncan-like duo defensively, but I can see the Bobcats trading this pick since they already have a roster full of young guys.

10. Nets – Kevin Love, UCLA, PF – I know the Nets really like Brook Lopez, but Love isn’t bad for a consolidation prize. His offensive skills could stretch the defense and help Carter and Jefferson get some much-needed points in the paint (We know those boys like to dunk).

11. Pacers – Kosta Koufos, Ohio State, C – The Pacers could be stretching a little with picking Koufos this high, but like him, from what I hear. He had some really good workouts and he finished the season strong for Ohio State with being named NIT MVP. This also fills the “white boy” quotient for the Pacers.

12. Kings – Roy Hibbert, Georgetown, C – The Kings would like to move Brad Miller to PF and by drafting Hibbert, it would help them solidify their front court. In the Western Conference, it is important to have some big bodies clogging the lane, Hibbert is wide enough to cover it himself, as long as Stephen Curry isn’t driving to the hole.

13. Blazers – Anthony Randolph, LSU, PF – The Blazers are not going to keep this pick, so I am picking Randolph to go at the #13 spot. A team that can afford to let Randolph sit on the bench of spend two seasons in the D-League will jump up and pick him. If the Blazers actually keep this pick, they will most likely go International and pick Alexis Ajinca from France. They already have a roster full of young big men and they can wait a few seasons before he comes to the U.S.

14. Warriors – Mario Chalmers, Kansas, PG – By picking Chalmers, the Warriors are saying bye-bye to Baron Davis. They are in need of a point guard since it is very unlikely that Davis will re-sign with the team.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

O’Neal Traded To Toronto – A Pacer Fan Critique

Jermaine O’Neal was traded to the Toronto Raptors for T.J. Ford and the #17 pick in the NBA Draft tomorrow night. O’Neal has been asking for a trade since Isiah Thomas was fired as the Pacers head coach. Last off-season a rumor swirled that he was going to the Lakers for either Lamar Odom or Andrew Bynum, but the Pacers wanted both of them and the Lakers didn’t move forward with the trade. The trade with Toronto could be a good thing for the Pacers, only if Ford stays healthy and the player selected at #17 can step in right away and help the troubled franchise.

Jermaine O’Neal hasn’t been the same since he was involved in the “Palace Brawl” a few seasons ago. After he served his suspension, he wasn’t the same on the court for the rest of that season and last couple years he has been out with various injuries. He is due to make 20+ million each of the next two seasons and the Pacers were smart to make a move for a point guard. Indiana needed to either make a move and trade for a point guard or draft a point guard (who would have either been D.J. Augustin or Russel Westbrook). Augustin is in the same mold as their current point guard Jamaal Tinsley, he can make plays, but either have a consistent jumpshot, same could be said for Ford. The different between Tinsley and Ford/Augustin is that they haven’t been a team disruption off the court. Tinsley will still end up on the team ’cause he has a large salary, but with Ford starting and Tinsley coming off the bench, their backcourt could be pretty nice.

On the Toronto side of this, you have a GM in Colangelo that is used to winning. He plays a faster style of basketball and Jose Calderon seems like a better fit at point guard. The front court of Chris Bosh and Jermaine O’Neal will give the Eastern Conference a migraine. Toronto takes on a huge contract for the next two seasons, but with the addition of O’Neal, if he stays healthy, can cement a playoff spot next season.

I’m not defending Larry Bird as team president, but I have faith that the moves he is making is going to eventually make sense. I admit that the Harrington/Jackson to Golden State for Murphy/Dunleavy still makes no sense, but Jackson was a distraction and they had to package Harrington with him to send him packing.

The color barrier may be broken this year if the Pacers pick another white guy with the #11 or #17 picks tomorrow. I think that Joe Alexander or Kosta Koufos are on their radar, but it isn’t certain that Alexander will be there at #11 or Koufos will be there at #17. If they pick either one, they could actually put a five white guys on the floor at once. Jeff Foster, Travis Diener, Troy Murphy, Mike Dunleavy, and either one of the draft picks. As “America’s White Boy,” it would be a proud moment in white boy history. I am not sure what is up with Bird, but before he came in, the only white boy on the team was either Rik Smits or Detlef Schrempf (Austin Croshere was around, but I choose not to remember his tenure). Larry Bird is down with the white boy and I my friend, am down with Bird.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Oh God, Dontrelle Willis Is Pitching

Dontrelle Willis is having a terrible year, even by Vin Baker standards. Coming into tonight’s game, he has allowed 16 walks and only 3 strikeouts in 10 innings pitched. He has spent most of the season on the DL and after tonight’s outing, the Tigers should look into having Willis head to the minors.

He started tonight against the Cleveland Indians and only lasted 1 1/3 innings, gave up 5 walks, allowed 8 earned runs on 3 hits (two of them being home-runs). After striking out two batters tonight, his BB:K ratio is 21:5, which Jose Canseco could do as a starting pitcher in the major leagues.

I’m not sure what is wrong with Dontrelle, he came into the majors with lightning stuff and a deception with his release that makes the ball hard to pick up for the batter. Questions about his performance started to appear last season when he went 10-15 with a 5.17 ERA for the Florida Marlins. Willis was then traded to the Detroit Tigers in the Miguel Cabrera for Cameron Maybin/Andrew Miller trade in the offseason.

Willis could end up being another tragic figure like Mark Prior. Willis has not had the extended trips to the disabled list like Prior, but I believe that his arm could be tired. In his first five seasons, Willis amassed 15 complete games and averaged 200 innings a season. He was a big part of the magical 2003 season in which the Marlins came out of nowhere to win the World Series, but ever since, his teams have been playing for nothing important and using his arm as much as possible.

The Tigers are in need of pitching, so they could end up using Willis a few more times before they become cautious. They just found out that Jeremy Bonderman, the staff’s #2 starter, will be lost for the season due to blood clots, but Joel Zumaya will be back soon from various injuries. Their farm system isn’t very deep, since they traded their best prospects to obtain Willis and Cabrera. Brandon Inge could become expendable, but it looks like their pitching woes will not be cured by an addition of one starting pitcher.

I wish the best for Dontrelle Willis, but it looks like this season will be a long one.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

The Reason I Watch Women’s Tennis

Ana Ivanovic won the French Open today. She is currently the #2 ranked women’s tennis player, but the #1 hottest in my book. Ivanovic is beautiful and she has the ability to win major grand slam championships. Maria Sharapova has that same double threat ability, but she hasn’t won anything lately. After the win today, Ivanovic will become the world’s #1 player, surpassing Justine Henin, who abruptly retired last month.

Ivanovic is only 20-years old, so she isn’t at her peak age. Women’s tennis players usually peak in their early 20s and fade out before their 28. The Williams’ sisters have dominated this sport for the last ten years, but they are both in the downside of their careers. The woman’s side of tennis needs a Rafael Nadal or Roger Federer to dominate, without a dominate player, every tournament is up for grabs. Ivanovic has the ability to dominate, but we’ll see if she can keep her focus as the demand for her will increase. She has already showed interest in modeling, which could distract her. I think a picture of her can distract me from pretty much anything.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Collins Found Out Jordan Isn’t Playing Anymore

Contrary to previous reports, it looks like Doug Collins is no longer a candidate for the Chicago Bulls coaching vacancy. Someone must have told Collins that Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen are no longer on the team. I’m glad that he is no longer a candidate, I didn’t think that the players on the Bulls roster would benefit from having Collins as the coach.

I’m guessing that Avery Johnson has to be in the running for the job. He had a lot of success with the Mavericks and he deserves another shot. As a player, he played under Greg Popovich, he can coach a defense and he was an assistant coach under Don Nelson, so he can coach offense. I think he brings a great balance to a team, but the expectations in Dallas were too high. The expectations in Chicago wouldn’t be a “win a championship or be fired,” as long as he makes the playoffs consistently, his job would be safe. Chicago, please hire Avery Johnson, you would have a good coach and some amazing soundbites.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Big Brown Is Still A Stud

Even though we have to wait another year for another Triple Crown winner, Big Brown is still a beast. Kent Desormeaux, the jockey riding Big Brown, tried to get the horse to make a move, but the horse didn’t have much left in him. Desormeaux did the smart thing by pulling up on him and saving him from getting injured. The owners of Big Brown will be making tons of money off of him when they put him out to stud. They didn’t want the horse to get injured and risk the future stud fees. He ended up finishing 9th, which is last, but won’t be remembered for this race. Da’Tara, who was a 38-1 odd favorite, picked up the victory and made a few people rich.

Big Brown had an amazing Kentucky Derby and Preakness, he will go down as one of the best horses over the last 30 years. I doubt that they will have him run in the Breeder’s Cup, another sub-par finish could hurt him.

I think I need to be put out to stud, I probably wouldn’t charge much.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

No EliteXC Fight Turns Me Into A Douche Bag

I’m not going to be able to watch the debut of EliteXC MMA fighting on CBS. My local CBS affiliate in Columbus, Ohio isn’t carrying the fight due to a Children’s Hospital telethon. I want to call up the station and raise some hell and I think that makes me a huge tool. I should be supporting the station in its cause, but c’mon! Kimbo Slice is going to tear a guy’s head off and my lady, Gina Carano, is going to look beautiful while turning a girl’s face inside-out. I can’t believe that the affiliate here is airing the telethon on the same weekend as the fight. CBS has been promoting the snot out of this for weeks and I will miss it. Gus Johnson will be announcing the fight and he will seriously lose his voice by the end of the show. Johnson goes crazy with NCAA hoops and I can only imagine his reaction to Kimbo Slice murdering another human.

There was a little hiccup with Gina Carano yesterday. She didn’t make her weight, but she will still fight, but give up a small portion of the purse. I look at pictures of her and I couldn’t place her at anything above 130, but she must be pretty tall ’cause she didn’t even make her 140 weight, she missed it by four pounds.If for some reason Kimbo Slice or Gina Carano loses each of their fights, EliteXC will be in a really bad situation. Slice is their Mike Tyson and Carano is their beauty queen who can draw in the casual viewer. I predict Slice will win in less than a minute and Carano will get a KO by the end of the first round. Let’s hope CBS will get a chance to have another Primetime MMA fight and I’ll actually get to watch it.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.