Category Archives: sports

Dinner With Cris Carter & Terrelle Pryor

Okay, I didn’t actually have dinner with Cris Carter and Terelle Pryor, kind of, but not really. I went to Eddie George’s restaurant here in Columbus called Eddie George’s Grille 27. It’s a pretty nice place to eat, I usually go once a month. The place has a great atmosphere and tons of flat-screen tvs to watch any sporting event. I went the night before the spring game and I know the bartenders since I worked there for a short while (it ended horribly, but they have love for America’s White Boy.) They told me that Cris Carter and Terrelle Pryor were both there. I turned around and there they were. I guess I don’t see too many famous people. I was in awe of Cris Carter, ’cause the man is a soon-to-be Hall of Famer and I liked his work on HBO. We’ll see if he brings the same banter and knowledge to ESPN.

I’m not saying Pryor is famous, but he very well could be in a few years. Pryor has been compared to Vince Young and Michael Vick, since he loves to scramble. Anyways, I think I’m going to keep this story shorter the next time I tell people, maybe people will actually think your boy dined with Carter and Pryor.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Brad Penny Is The Man, Plus He Hit An Umpire In The Face

I was watching Sportscenter a few days ago and I witnessed something that scared me, but it made me laugh. Brad Penny threw a 96mph fastball and it hit the umpire square in the chin. The upmire, Kerwin Danley, is an old guy and I can only imagine how much that hurt, but the way it happened was such a lazy mess. Russell Martin, the catcher and Whiteboy’s starting catcher on his fantasy team, just threw up his mitt to catch the ball so slow and lazy that he just clearly missed it. Now I’ve seen Penny’s fastball, a couple seasons ago he smoked Ichiro, Jeter, and Big Papi, 1-2-3, in the first inning of an All-Star game with stuff that clocked around 100mph. Luckily the umpire appears to be doing okay, but c’mon Martin, you’re making my fantasy team look bad. Next year I should get a few roto points for knocking an umpire out.If you really want to blame Penny for this, you can’t. The man is dating Eliza Dushku. Really?! Take a look at Penny, he is seriously 50lbs. and a cut-off shirt away from looking like Larry The Cable Guy. I can’t hate the man, I don’t want to take a fastball to the melon.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

The White Boy Mock NFL Draft – 2008 Edition

I am going to do my best Mel Kiper impersonation, but I will not replicate the hairstyle, that thing is pretty brutal. I’m more of a fan of Todd McShay than Kiper Jr. anyways. McShay has been going toe-to-toe with him for a couple months now. If Matt Ryan goes #3 to Atlanta, look for McShay to punch Kiper Jr. straight in the mug.

Before I start, I will like to state the two moments when Mel Kiper Jr. was extremely wrong. He never talks about them, ‘cause he would lose nearly all credibility. They both involve the Colts picks. The Colts picked Marshall Faulk over Trent Dilfer and Kiper Jr. blew a fuse on camera. An executive actually went on air and said that he didn’t care at all what Kiper Jr. thought about their pick. The next incident happened a few years later when the Colts selected Peyton Manning over Ryan Leaf. Kiper Jr. didn’t think it was the right choice for the team, even though I just saw an ESPN commercial that stated that Manning was Kiper Jr.’s #1 rated QB that year….I smell bullshit, son.

Here is my first round mock draft.

1. Miami – Jake Long, OT, Michigan
2. St. Louis – Glen Dorsey, DT, LSU
3. Atlanta – Matt Ryan, QB, Boston College
4. Oakland – Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas
5. Kansas City – Vernon Gholston, DE/LB, Ohio State
6. New York Jets – Chris Long, DE, Virginia
7. New England – Sedrick Ellis, DT, USC
8. Baltimore – Ryan Clady, OT, Boise State
9. Cincinnati – D. Rodgers-Cromartie, Tennessee State
10. New Orleans – Aqib Talib, DB, Kansas
11. Buffalo – Jeff Otah, OT, Pittsburgh
12. Denver – Limas Sweed, WR, Texas
13. Carolina – Rashard Mendenhall, RB, Illinois
14. Chicago – Justin King, DB, Penn State
15. Detroit – Sam Baker, OT, USC
16. Arizona – Derrick Harvey, DE, Florida State
17. Kansas City – Leodis McKelvin, CB, Troy
18. Houston – DeSean Jackson, WR/KR, California
19. Philadelphia – Malcolm Kelly, WR, Oklahoma
20. Tampa Bay – Devin Thomas, WR, Michigan State
21. Washington – Antoine Cason, CB, Arizona
22. Dallas – Felix Jones, RB, Arkansas
23. Pittsburgh – James Hardy, WR, Indiana
24. Tennessee – Jerod Mayo, LB, Tennessee
25. Seattle – Chris Williams, OT, Vanderbilt
26. Jacksonville – Mike Jenkins, CB, South Florida
27. San Diego – Keith Rivers, OLB, USC
28. Dallas – Branden Albert, OG/OT, Virginia
29. San Francisco – Brian Brohm, QB, Louisville
30. Green Bay – Calais Campbell, DE, Miami
31. New York Giants – Dan Connor, LB, Penn State

There are still a few guys out there that I wasn’t sure where to put them, ‘cause their need isn’t there. I would have really liked to put Fred Davis, Early Doucet, Dustin Keller, or Brandon Flowers at the end of the first round, but I wasn’t sure if there was a need for their positions.

My argument about my own mock draft is that I don’t think Oakland should pick McFadden. Justin Fargas and Michael Bush should do a great job in their backfield. A pick of Ryan Clady would make a lot of sense, since their O-Line is pretty weak. They could end up trading McFadden to a team for help in other areas or future draft picks. I think Jerry Jones would love to get him, who knows what kind of package he will throw at Al Davis if the Raiders pick McFadden. Also, I think the Chiefs could pick Chris Long with the #4 pick, but I think they need a solid pass rusher since they just traded Allen yesterday for some draft picks. Vernon Gholston would be a better fit to start right away, he did smoke Jake Long in last year’s OSU/Michigan game a few times.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Indiana Time

Hey Everyone, I’m going to be in Indiana for a couple days, so I don’t know how much I will be able to post. (Parents have a 56k connection, yikes!)

While I am gone, please remember to wrap it up, son.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Up & Down – NBA Draft Prospects

I know the NBA draft is a few months away, but the NCAA tournament is fresh in my mind. I’m sure that a lot of stuff will start to come out about the player’s personal lives until draft time that may sway the teams from picking them, but I don’t want that to affect who we love. We also listed a few players that are down on at the moment. I’m not saying that we don’t think these players will be bad NBA players, but they are clearly over-rated.

Players We Love

Derrick Rose– I think there is a chance that Rose will be picked #1 overall. If the Heat end up with that pick, it will be hard to pass up on the guy. They could end up with an all-Chicago-area backcourt of Wade and Rose. I’m sure Beasley could be very effective with Miami, but a scoring point guard is hard to find in the NBA.

Michael Beasley– Everyone I know think Beasley is the best player in this draft. I think Beasley and Rose are kind of 1a and 1b, because they do different things. They are two players that are hard to compare. Beasley plays like Dwight Howard, but with a nice jumper. He is a definitely a game-changing player and can turn any team in the East into a playoff team.

Kevin Love– Love has amazed every scout that has laid eyes on him. He is more than just a regular big man, Love brings skills that sets him apart from other bigger guys in the draft. His cynics say that he isn’t athletic enough to play in the NBA, but he will end up being a threat whenever he touches the ball. He will be in the league for many years.

Players We Don’t Love

Eric Gordon– I hate doing this to a fellow Hoosier, but he totally tanked at the end of the season. I know Indiana was going through a lot of turmoil, but this could be a sign of things to come. If Gordon is stuck in a situation where his team is losing or plays for a coach that he has no confidence in, Gordon won’t give his best. In his lone NCAA tournament game, he played in his worst game. I’m not 100% sold that he has the “character” to play in the NBA right now, he should have stayed another year and dominated.

O.J. Mayo– Mayo has been a possible #1 pick since he was a sophomore in high school. His choice of going to USC surprised everyone and he had a good freshman year. He is another player that could have benefited from staying another year, albeit he would have to play for Tim Floyd. Floyd is not a good teacher, Mayo should have went to a program with an established winner. Mayo needed a Roy Williams or Coach K-type of coach to guide him to mature into his potential. Mayo will be a top-10 pick, but at this point he is clearly coasting on his name alone.

Hasheem Thabeet– I watched a few UConn games this year and at times Thabeet looked very dominant. His defensive abilities are superb, but he is so raw on the offensive end that he may never be a double-double kind of player. At this point he can be compared to Ben Wallace or Dennis Rodman, but without the ability to grab rebound that isn’t supposed to get. Thabeet is 7-3, he will get a lot of rebound just due to his size, but will never be quick enough to grab as he potentially should. If Thabeet can learn to play in the post, he could have a Dikembe Mutombo kind of career, but that could be wishful-thinking.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

MLB Managers Love Their Uniforms

A lot of people who don’t follow sports ask why baseball managers dress up in uniforms like the players. I’ve never really had an answer for it. I can see why 1st-base and 3rd-base coaches wear the uniforms, they are in the field of play and are more like players than the manager. The argument is that the manager has to come out on the field for pitching changes, double switches, and the occasional heated argument with the umpire.

I know I can’t imagine Pat Riley wearing a basketball uniform or Bill Belichick wearing football gear (He would like the lack of sleeve). I guess I’m just used to seeing overweight, old guys trot out in cleats and stirrups.I’m torn with what the MLB should do if they ever re-think the manager’s uniform. I know baseball tried to fine the Red Sox manager, Terry Francona, for not wearing a uniform under his pull-over. Could you imagine Sparky Anderson or Earl Weaver coming out to argue balls and strikes with the umpire and they were wearing a Pat Riley suit? That is the argument that I like to throw back at the nay-sayers. It is easier to switch rules in the NFL and NBA than in baseball. Baseball fans are purists, they hate anything new. I’m surprised that the DH rule has lasted as long as it had.

If baseball does change the rule, I would like the manager to be able to wear a retro-jersey of a Hall of Fame player from their team’s history. This would be fun to watch and tie in the game of the present with something great from the past. I think I would like to see Bobby Cox sporting a retro Warren Spahn jersey as he’s getting tossed from another game.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Ohio State Wins Something

I’ve lived in Columbus, OH for a year and a half. In that time, Ohio State has been runner-up in nearly every major sport. The trend has been broken tonight, THE Ohio State University has themselves a championship! NIT Champions! Wait, what? Ohio State beat the University of Massachusetts in NYC for the NIT Tournament Championship. The students of OSU aren’t exactly turning over cars or setting dumpster fires.

I remember when Ohio State beat Michigan in football when Troy Smith was the QB and it was the #1 vs. #2 game to end the season. It was insane! I stayed in and watched the game with my roommates and then when Ohio State won, we went down on campus and it was complete chaos. I’ve never seen so many policeman on horses and crazy drunk Ohio State fans. Well, Ohio State went ahead and got creamed by Florida in the Championship game and then LSU the following year. They were also runner-ups in basketball and soccer, you can see that as a good year or a bad year, since they were so close.

I have received a lot of grief for not being an Ohio State fan. Just because a person moves to a town/state, doesn’t mean their allegiances change to their current location. America’s White Boy is no “front-runner.” I’ll be drinking RC Cola until I die, Pepsi and Coke can go to hell.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Moises Alou Needs To Shut Up

Moises Alou is best known for two things. First, Alou regularly pisses on his bare hands so he can grip his bat better without gloves. Ewwww! Secondly, he was the player that could have caught the ball during the “Steve Bartman incident.”At the time of the incident, Alou jumped in the air and screamed at Bartman for interfering with the baseball. Today Alou admitted that he could have never caught the ball in the first place. WHAT?! I’ve unfortunately watched the “lowlight” of this event many times. Alou is clearly directly under the baseball when Bartman puts his hands on it. Why is Alou coming out and saying this now? Alou thinks that we should forgive Bartman and move on. His words are falling on deaf ears, since Alou is currently playing for the Mets.The Mets have always been hated by Cubs fans, since the last 60’s when the Mets undercut the Cubs and beat them out of the playoffs. If Aramis Ramirez or Kerry Wood would come out and tell the fans that we should forgive Bartman, maybe some progress could happen. Alou is only adding fuel to the fire and could lead to more tension.

Steve Bartman, please stay away from Wrigley Field.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Hubert Davis Is Insane

I was just watching Sportscenter, which I do most evenings, and I just realized that Hubert Davis is certifiably insane. After talking about college basketball, they cut to Davis to predict what will happen Thursday during the Sweet Sixteen games. He predicted that Western Kentucky will beat UCLA! Really? His thought process was that Josh Shipp has looked like he was out of his game, possibly lazy. Really? I didn’t know that Shipp was that integral in the success of the Bruins. I know the kid can hit a mean shot over the backboard, but after that, the kid is decent. Davis must have a man-crush on Courtney Lee. He it’s not his style to go out on a limb and predict something absurd. It’s not your style, son.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Everybody Hates Skip Bayless

I am guilty of hating Skip Bayless, but isn’t everyone guilty of that? I watch ESPN First Take most afternoons and I can see why some people like to start the morning off with alcohol. Skip Bayless says some of the most absurd things just to get an argument out of someone. He constantly dogs Tiger Woods by saying that he is the best front-runner in sports. He is insinuating that unless he has a lead going into sunday, he can’t win. It’s something that runs parallel with what he states about Lebron. Day after day, Skip stated that Lebron disappears in the 4th quarter. He has quieted his stance quiet a bit after Lebron’s 4th quarter solo-act against the Pistons in last year’s playoffs.

Skip has a West Coast bias, since he covered bay-area sports for most of his professional career. ESPN has so much of an East Coast bias that naturally people are going to dislike Skip. He is so arrogant, I think someone needs to tell him on a regular basis that he is a sports writer from Vanderbilt, not exactly a sports mecca. At least he doesn’t have a Duke crush like Dick Vitale. I’m sure Dicky-V is crying somewhere and counting the days until Midnight Madness.

I am going to miss Skip for a few weeks since I am taking a temp job for awhile. I think I will need to at least DV-R “1st & 10,” so I can avoid Dana Jacobson.

UGH!

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A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Chris Berman Loves Cheese

I wonder if Chris Berman knew that this photo would be pasted all over the internet. Before I go anywhere where my man-boobs will be visible, I usually try to manscape a little. That’s right, America’s White Boy is admitting to the use of Veet.I think every self-respecting guy should the bark on his trunk. Berman is famous enough that he should be to at least afford a professional waxing. By seeing his infamous youtube rants, you know the man has a sexual appetite, but what kind of beast would want to jump this wooly mammoth.

*note to self* use the phrase “wooly mammoth” in reference to your junk

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Our Bracket Was Nearly Destroyed

UCLA nearly gave half the country a heart attack. Most people have either North Carolina or UCLA winning this year’s NCAA tournament and UCLA just gave us a scare. Texas A&M played a good game, but UCLA was giving them some open looks. The Bruins are known for their defense, but they didn’t show any until the second-half. Kevin Love is a great talent, but for half of the game he was trying to be Kevin Pittsnogle. Pittsnogle could stroke a pretty 3-pointer, but Love needs to stick to the inside, at least during this tournament.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.