Category Archives: hard knocks

2015 NFL Team Preview: Houston Texans

funny Houston Texans 2015 NFL season team preview weird bull Arian FosterThe Houston Texans are currently featured on HBO’s “Hard Knocks”, so a lot of eyes are watching them this preseason. The show usually brings a ton of undeserving expectations to whichever team appears on the program. Actually, very few teams that have been on the show went on to make the playoffs that season. It still doesn’t stop people from expecting big things.

Texans coach Bill O’Brien has a big decision to make this preseason. He has to choose who will become the team’s starting quarterback. Brian Hoyer and Ryan Mallett both have their positives, but no one is the clear pick to lead the team. The race should be close throughout camp.

Which man will win the starting quarterback job?

Here is the 2015 NFL team preview for the Houston Texans.

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Dolphins trade CB Vontae Davis to Colts for Draft Picks

Crazy Jim Irsay wasn’t bluffing when he tweeted that the “trade winds were blowing” in Indianapolis.

Indy will send their 2013 second-round draft pick and a conditional late-round pick to Miami for former first-round draft pick CB Vontae Davis.

The Colts needed help in their secondary and if you watched one episode of HBO’s “Hard Knocks”, you got the idea that Davis was on the trading block. Miami hasn’t been happy with his conditioning and that he takes plays off. Miami’s new head coach Joe Philbin has been getting on him a lot.

The Colts needed helped in their secondary, but their second-round pick will most likely be in the low-30’s. Davis has a couple years left on his deal, so he fits the mold with the Colts current youth movement.

Will he improve the Colts secondary? Yes.

Will he turn the Colts into a playoff team? Nope.


A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Chad Johnson Arrested for Domestic Violence

Miami Dolphins wide receiver Chad Johnson was arrested Saturday night for misdemeanor domestic battery, according to Davie Police Department captain Dale Engle.

The man formerly known as ‘Chad Ochocinco’ got in a heated argument with his newlywed wife and reality television star Evelyn Lozada of VH1’s “Basketball Wives”.

The altercation started in the couple’s car. They got into a heated argument and Johnson allegedly heatbutted Lozada. Johnson claims they just accidentally butted heads while arguing.

Lozada received medical attention for a laceration on her forehead…more information after the jump.

A new account of the altercation has come out. The alleged reason for the argument stems from a receipt Lozada found for condoms.

Johnson was taken to jail where he remains as of Saturday night. He is likely to remain in jail Saturday and be transferred to Broward Country. Johnson is expected to bound out of jail by 8:30 a.m. ET Sunday morning.

The Miami Dolphins tweeted an official statement, “We are aware of the situation & are in the process of gathering all the relevent information.”

If you watched HBO’s “Hard Knocks” this week, you will remember that at the 40:25 minute mark, Johnson predicts that he will be arrested during his free time. Here’s the entire first episode to scroll through.

[UPDATED] The Miami Dolphins released Chad Johnson today. Team employees were seen cleaning out his locker this afternoon.


A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

2012 NFL Team Preview: Miami Dolphins

The Miami Dolphins are this season’s focus on HBO’s “Hard Knocks”. If you’re not watching this show, I don’t know what to say. It’s riveting television and the fact that Chad (Ochocinco) Johnson is on the show for a second time, makes it that much better. I predicted he would sign with the Dolphins, if only to be on the show again.

[UPDATED] Chad Johnson was released by the Miami Dolphins due to a domestic violence arrest. I’m sure this will be covered in the next episode of “Hard Knocks”.

After the television show, there’s a good chance the public will forget about the Dolphins. The quarterback situation is messy, Reggie Bush wants to be the every-down, feature back and the Dolphins lack a dependable veteran receiver.

When will the Dolphins hand over the starting quarterback job to rookie Ryan Tannehill? Can they hang with the rest of the AFC East?

Here is our 2012 NFL team preview for the Miami Dolphins…out of respect for new head coach Joe Philbin, I will refrain from using potty language.

2011 Win/Loss Record: 6-10

Key Additions: QB David Garrard, QB Ryan Tannehill, LB E.J. Henderson, WR Legedu Naanee, OG Eric Steinbach, CB Richard Marshall, RB Lamar Miller, WR B.J. Cunningham, OT Jonathan Martin, DE Olivier Vernon, TE Michael Egnew, LB Josh Kaddu, LB Jamaal Westerman, S Tyrell Johnson and LB Gary Guyton.

Key Losses: WR Brandon Marshall, QB Chad Henne, RB Lex Hilliard, CB Will Allen, DE Kendall Langford, DE Phillip Merling and LB Marvin Mitchell.

Non-Division Schedule: AFC South and NFC West

Fantasy SleeperWR B.J. Cunningham – It isn’t known if Ryan Tannehill will start the season as the starting quarterback or have either Matt Moore or David Garrard keep the position warm. When you glance at the wide receivers on the Dolphins roster, you have to Google most of them. Davone Bess and Brian Hartline are the only receivers left who contributed in 2011. They added Legedu Naanee and Chad Johnson in the off-season and he will be a factor in the passing attack. B.J. Cunningham had a prolific career at Michigan State and has an NFL body. He has great hands and the size to jump for balls if Tannehill has trouble with his accuracy early in his career.

Team Analysis: If Miami loses its first couple games, I look for Tannehill to be named the starter. I don’t see him having the spot right out of training camp, but anything is possible. Lamar Miller should be in a position to help Reggie Bush carry the ball. Bush is a pass-catching threat out of the backfield. The Dolphins should utilize that aspect of his game more and let Miller, or someone else, run the ball. Miami won’t miss Brandon Marshall much because they didn’t have much of a passing attack last season. The receiving corps is what it is. The strongest facet of the team is their run defense/pass rush. Cameron Wake came into his own last season as the leader of the defense. Yeremiah Bell, Kevin Burnett and Karlos Dansby had amazing years as well. Vontae Davis has all the tools to be a shutdown corner, but as you have seen on “Hard Knocks”, he can be lazy at times. 2012 looks to be a rebuilding year for Miami. Philbon is going to make that offense click at some point, but I don’t see it this year. They could surprise me and end the season at .500, but that is the absolute best-case scenario.

2012 Wins Over/Under Line: 7.5 (Prediction: UNDER)

2012 Projected Win/Loss Record: 3-13

CLICK HERE to read the rest of our 2012 NFL Team Previews


A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Who Will Sign Chad Ochocinco?

The New England Patriots released Chad Ochocinco today. He struggled with the offense last season and lacked chemistry with Tom Brady. The Patriots signed Jabar Gaffney and Donté Stallworth in the off-season, two wide receivers who have already played with Brady. Their signings made Ochocinco expendable.

Ochocinco is in great condition and is known to be all business behind the scenes. He keeps his nose clean off the field and didn’t do any of his usual outlandish antics with New England.

The league is full of teams in need of a veteran receiver, which one will pull the trigger on Ochocinco?

ESPN Insider had a post earlier today about possible teams that could make a run at signing Ochocinco. They listed St. Louis Rams, Minnesota Vikings, Buffalo Bills, Cleveland Browns, and Miami Dolphins as teams in the market for a veteran receiver. These teams are full of young receivers, but they also have young quarterbacks who need a reliable receiver as a safety net.

Out of the teams that ESPN lists, Miami would be the best fit. Not only would Ochocinco make their season of HBO’s ‘Hard Knocks’ watchable, but he would be the best receiver on the team. The Dolphins have a short-term question at quarterback, so they have bigger issues at hand.

Ochocinco has ties to the Miami area. He went to high school in Miami Beach and he currently spends a lot of time there. He is engaged to ‘Basketball Wives’ Evelyn Lozada, the former partner of former NBA player Antoine Walker.

I would put money on his agent getting in contact with Miami, whether they want him is another issue. I believe Ochocinco has a year or two left on his legs. I am crossing my fingers that the Indianapolis Colts take a gamble on the veteran.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Miami Dolphins to Appear in HBO’s "Hard Knocks"

I know what you’re thinking, the title of this post should be, “Miami Dolphins to Appear on HBO’s ‘Hard Knocks‘ Because Every Other NFL Team Turned HBO Down.” Yeah, that sounds about right.

When you look at the Miami Dolphins roster, you see Reggie Bush and a lot of guys with unknown personalities. Who knows, these guys could be funny and show a lot of heart. The saddest part is they got rid of the most watchable and unpredictable player in the NFL, Brandon Marshall. C’mon, that guy would have given me so much comedy material!

Here are some of the possible story lines we will see on this season’s “Hard Knocks”.

– The Dolphins will allow Chris Bosh, Lebron James, and Dwyane Wade to suit up for a few practices. I can see Brian Windhorst covering that for ESPN’s laughable ‘Heat Index.”

– Reggie Bush is no longer dating Kim Kardashian, that is old news. He is currently dating her stunt-double, Melissa Molinaro. HBO will make sure to have the cameras on her quite a bit. Look below and pick which one is Kardashian and which one is Molinaro.

David Garrard can tell the story about how 10 of the worst teams wanted to sign him last season, but he waited until the last minute to have surgery.

– Everyone FINALLY gets to know the answer to ” Is Joe Philbin related to Regis?”

– We get to know Vernon Davis’ unstable brother, Vontae.

– Karlos Dansby will do an impression of Kurt Warner at least five times during “Hard Knocks”.

– Anthony Fasano will finally admit that Brady Quinn is currently sleeping on his couch.

– A poutine eating contest will be officiated by former Canadian Football League player Cameron Wake.

– Jake Long will lead us to the place where Mike Hart’s career is buried. (Hint: It is in Ann Arbor)

– Richard Marshall tells his teammates that he’s Brandon, since Brandon told half of his teammates that he was either Richard or Mandingo for most of the season.

– Legedu Naanee hosts a team Spelling Bee.

– Mike Pouncey, Will Barker, and Nate Garner will go shirtless until everyone pays them $1,000. If that goes well, they will go nude until a rookie pokes their eyes out. That is what the veterans call the classic “Darwinian Cut.”

– The shell of Steve Slaton pretends that he can still play football.

– Finally, the team has a scavenger hunt with Reggie Bush’s Heisman trophy as the only item listed. (The scavenger hunt was sponsored by all of the past Heisman winners)


A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

"Hard Knocks" Is The Best Thing On TV

I didn’t get into the television series “Hard Knocks” until last season. I didn’t have HBO, so I didn’t get to see this amazing series. Last season the series followed the Kansas City Chiefs through training camp. It made the uninteresting Chiefs into something must-see. Even though I got to know more about Bobby Sippio and Larry Johnson than I should, it gives you an insider’s view of what goes on in the preparation of an NFL team.

“Hard Knocks” is following the Dallas Cowboys this season and it is as interesting as it sounds. You get to see a different side of every major player on “America’s Team.” I’ve seen the first four episodes of the season and episode five will be shown this weekend. My only suggestion is that they show Marion Barber, he must be a pretty bland guy. They have been showing how well Felix Jones is playing, yet the starter, Barber, hasn’t even been mentioned. Here are some of things I’ve noticed about the players that they are featuring.

Tank Johnson – He loves the “f” word and when they end team meetings, you see him almost running out of there. He seems like the guy I thought he was, so far I haven’t seen him strapped or carrying any kind of weapon. It’s only training camp, stay tuned.

Keon Lattimore – He’s best known as being the younger brother of Ray Lewis. He hasn’t had much playing time and he’s probably a long shot of making the team. Ray Lewis is good television, so he should stick around until the end of the last show and he’ll be cut.

Tony Romo – He actually seems like a good guy. Yeah, he reminds me of a typical jock from small-town American, but you would be lucky to pick up some secondhand ladies that probably attach themselves to his entourage.

Terrell Owens – My perception of T.O. has been totally contradicted by this show. I’m not sure if he is playing it up for the cameras or if he is actually a really good guy. He was even shown playing with Jerry Jones’ grandchildren. I think he may have actually matured.

Martellus Bennett – I hope this guy eventually takes Jason Witten’s job in a few seasons. He’s a big, talented, and pretty funny. He may not be the brightest guy in the room, but he’ll be a productive tight-end in the NFL.

Todd Lowber – Is it me or does this guy always have the “I don’t have a freakin’ clue what is happening right now” look on his face? He is a converted basketball player turned wide-receiver, but I don’t see any legitimate shot of this guy making this team at all. If by some slim chance that he makes the roster, he will be replaced by a proven receiver who was a cap casualty cut at the end of training camp from another team. Terry Glenn could even come back, Jerry Jones said in the first episode that it is still a possibility.

Jason Witten – I haven’t learned much about Witten other than he has a kid that can’t hold a helmet on his head without falling over. He better have another amazing year or that Bennett kid could creep up and take his job.

Pacman Jones – T.O. and him had some battles early on in camp that was fun to watch. He also showed his skills of catching six punt returns in a row, while keeping all the previous balls in hands. He is a talented guy and I hope he keeps out of trouble.

Roy Williams – This guy just loves to hit people. Coach Phillips told him to just tag players during a scrimmage and by the end of it he was trying to lay out dudes. Williams changed his number back to his college ’38’ and looks like it could have changed his focus back towards football and less towards banging members of Destiny’s Child.

Zach Thomas – He’s an old guy, but if he can rejuvenate his career by playing for a contender, he’s in the right situation. The dude was a beast early in his career with Miami, he’s a good addition.

Patrick Crayton – Any guy who comes into a team meeting wearing just a towel gets an A+ in my book. He also tied Pacman’s punt return total by catching six with all the balls still in his hand. He is definitely ready to step into the 2nd wide-receiver position left open by the cutting of Terry Glenn.

Bobby Carpenter – The television show has not been kind to Mr. Carpenter. They have shown him as a pretty boy and that he is soft. Guys from the team were even talking crap to him by calling him Barbie Carpenter and a punk bitch. Later on in the fourth episode the coaches and players were talking very positively about Carpenter, but seeing him getting the rookie treatment while he’s in his third season is always fun to watch. Maybe he can talk the Cowboys into trading for A.J. Hawk or trading him to Green Bay, seems like he was only useful with Hawk on his side.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.