Category Archives: brady quinn

Miami Dolphins to Appear in HBO’s "Hard Knocks"

I know what you’re thinking, the title of this post should be, “Miami Dolphins to Appear on HBO’s ‘Hard Knocks‘ Because Every Other NFL Team Turned HBO Down.” Yeah, that sounds about right.

When you look at the Miami Dolphins roster, you see Reggie Bush and a lot of guys with unknown personalities. Who knows, these guys could be funny and show a lot of heart. The saddest part is they got rid of the most watchable and unpredictable player in the NFL, Brandon Marshall. C’mon, that guy would have given me so much comedy material!

Here are some of the possible story lines we will see on this season’s “Hard Knocks”.

– The Dolphins will allow Chris Bosh, Lebron James, and Dwyane Wade to suit up for a few practices. I can see Brian Windhorst covering that for ESPN’s laughable ‘Heat Index.”

– Reggie Bush is no longer dating Kim Kardashian, that is old news. He is currently dating her stunt-double, Melissa Molinaro. HBO will make sure to have the cameras on her quite a bit. Look below and pick which one is Kardashian and which one is Molinaro.

David Garrard can tell the story about how 10 of the worst teams wanted to sign him last season, but he waited until the last minute to have surgery.

– Everyone FINALLY gets to know the answer to ” Is Joe Philbin related to Regis?”

– We get to know Vernon Davis’ unstable brother, Vontae.

– Karlos Dansby will do an impression of Kurt Warner at least five times during “Hard Knocks”.

– Anthony Fasano will finally admit that Brady Quinn is currently sleeping on his couch.

– A poutine eating contest will be officiated by former Canadian Football League player Cameron Wake.

– Jake Long will lead us to the place where Mike Hart’s career is buried. (Hint: It is in Ann Arbor)

– Richard Marshall tells his teammates that he’s Brandon, since Brandon told half of his teammates that he was either Richard or Mandingo for most of the season.

– Legedu Naanee hosts a team Spelling Bee.

– Mike Pouncey, Will Barker, and Nate Garner will go shirtless until everyone pays them $1,000. If that goes well, they will go nude until a rookie pokes their eyes out. That is what the veterans call the classic “Darwinian Cut.”

– The shell of Steve Slaton pretends that he can still play football.

– Finally, the team has a scavenger hunt with Reggie Bush’s Heisman trophy as the only item listed. (The scavenger hunt was sponsored by all of the past Heisman winners)


A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

White Boy Of The Week: Peyton Hillis

Peyton Hillis did something that I’ve been waiting 24 years for, he wiped Craig James off the record books. In 1986, James, “The Great White Hope,” ran for 1,227 yards and was the last white running back to surpass 1,000 yards in a season. This weekend, in a loss, Hillis crossed that plateau and currently has 1,070 on the season. He has been a beast this season and exciting to watch. I’m glad to name Peyton Hillis as my “White Boy of The Week.”

I have watched nearly every Cleveland Browns game this year, mostly because they show most of them here in Columbus, Ohio. I was doing some research on Hillis for this post and ran across an amazing nickname for him. “The Albino Rhino” has been thrown out there and I hope it sticks. 
His running style is violent and he tries to leap or run over his opponent. He is prone to fumbling, which he did last week, but he will get that fixed this off-season.

Hillis has 11 touchdowns this season and to go along with his rushing yards, he has 57 receptions, 446 receiving yards, and two additional receiving touchdowns. He is a dual threat and someone that a cornerback or safety wouldn’t want to try to tackle in the open-field.

He was acquired by the Browns from the Denver Broncos for Brady Quinn. He was lost in the depth chart in Denver, but did shine when he was given an opportunity. He played his college ball at Arkansas, where he played fullback in front of first-round picks, Darren McFadden and Felix Jones. There has been a few weeks this season that Hillis had more total yards in a week than both McFadden and Jones combined.

Congratulations goes out to Peyton Hillis, he is having a fantastic season and should get a hefty contract this summer for his achievements on the field. He is currently making near the minimum, the Browns have him at a discount. The Browns are an improved team with Hillis and next season with a healthy Colt McCoy and possibly an addition of a wide-receiving playmaker, the Browns will keep getting better.


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Eric Mangini Still Not Fired?

The Cleveland Browns fired GM George Kokinis yesterday, but head coach Eric Mangini is still the coach. I don’t know how this can happen, considering that Mangini actually picked Kokinis to be the GM. I don’t know a situation that has ever worked out when a person picks his own boss. How long does Mangini last in Cleveland?

I have seen my fair share of Cleveland Browns games since I moved to Columbus, Ohio three years ago. I thought the team last year was a joke, but they can’t even score points this year. They completely quit on Brady Quinn and decided to put Jake Delhomme Jr. (Derek Anderson) in as a permanent starter. If a QB goes 2 for 17 in one of the first games as a starter, I don’t know how many keep that role. It happened against the Bills, who to the Browns defense, made Mark Sanchez look like a, er, rookie. Nevermind, Anderson should be benched and just like the Titans did with Vince Young, the Browns need to see what they have with Quinn.

One of the reasons why many speculate that Quinn is not the starter is because he has a bonus in his contract that if he takes more than 50% of the snaps this season he gets $11 million dollars. I know that is a large number and it could be wise for a team not to spend money, but are the Browns a football team or an accounting firm? If your job is in jeopardy, wouldn’t it be wise to play your best players?

The Browns are in bad shape. I have really been back and forth about which team is the worst team in the NFL. I think the Browns are definitely in the conversation with the Rams, Redskins, Lions, Raiders, and Jaguars. The Redskins and Browns are so bad that when I watch them, they make me feel bad for them. I’m not supposed to feel sad during an NFL game. These players are making more a year than I will this decade and they are grown men, yet I think they probably need a hug after most games.

I hope the Browns get better, if that’s with Mangini, so be it, but I hope that it is soon. I get most Browns and Bengals games here and I am tired of watching horrible, sloppy football on Sundays. Is firing George Kokinis enough for Cleveland fans not to do a protest and leave their seats vacant at kickoff on Monday Night Football? I sure hope so, because it’s not about the personnel anymore, it’s about an entire franchise that seems to have lost the connection with the hard-working, blue-collar fans that pay for tickets.

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The Titans Should Trade For Brady Quinn

The trading deadline is tomorrow and the Tennessee Titans are currently sitting at 0-6 and seem hesitant about using Vince Young at quarterback. They are sticking with the Kerry Collins, even during their 59-0 beatdown from New England, Young made a brief cameo in the 4th quarter. They need help at quarterback, why not trade for Brady Quinn? It makes sense right?

They had a quick leash with Quinn after letting him start the first three games of the season. Derek Anderson appears to be their starting quarterback. The Cleveland Browns reportedly turned down a 1st round pick for Brady Quinn this offseason. They had a new coaching staff and they weren’t sure what they had in the young quarterback from Notre Dame. They would be lucky to get a 3rd-round pick for him right now.

I am proposing a deal that would be beneficial to both teams. The Browns would trade Brady Quinn to the Titans for Javon Ringer and a 6th round pick. The Titans already have Chris Johnson and Lendale White and Cleveland is in need of a young, game-changing running back. Quinn is a younger version of Kerry Collins, plus about 30 extra pounds of muscle. I think it would be good for both sides, why would they make this trade?

Tennessee clearly doesn’t think of Vince Young as their future franchise quarterback or he would have already taken over the team. In college, Quinn proved that all he needs is a good tight-end (John Carlson was his target at Notre Dame), a good running game, and a tall receiver (Jeff Samardzija at Notre Dame, but could be Kenny Britt for the Titans). He is a pretty accurate quarterback, but he has never received any significant playing time in the NFL and it would be worth the risk. If they keep losing games, they would get a top 5 pick and possible get a guy like Jake Locker or Colt McCoy. A top 5 pick that is a quarterback gets around 40 million dollars in guaranteed money. You can get Quinn at a bargain and his upside would be just as high as Locker, who didn’t even win a game at Washington last season.

On the other side of the coin, Javon Ringer was a touchdown machine at Michigan State last year. I watched plenty of his games and he reminded me of a Maurice Jones-Drew, without the definitive pass-catching ability. The Browns currently have the elderly Jamal Lewis, the injured James Davis, and a career back-up in Jerome Harrison. Ringer would help boost the offense and get the ball moving.

This deal makes sense from both sides. This deal is completely fictional and has no basis of fact or rumor. I was just thinking about what a waste of talent Brady Quinn is sitting on the sidelines and how the Titans doesn’t seem to want Vince Young playing, but Kerry Collins isn’t doing the job either. Either way, I would love for this trade to go down, but as we know about the NFL trading deadline, these types of deals rarely ever happen.

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Cleveland Had A "Steamer" Of A Day

All three major sports teams from Cleveland, OH made the news today. The Indians made changes in their management, the Browns made changes of leadership, and a certain player on the Cavaliers may need a change of scenery. It’s been a long day in Cleveland, but I have some good news for the people in the area.

Let’s start with the news about the Cleveland Indians. They finally fired, Fort Wayne native, Eric Wedge, after the last two disappointing seasons. It was only two seasons ago that the Indians were one win away from the World Series, but C.C. Sabathia, Fausto Carmona, or Jake Westbrook couldn’t seal the deal and the Red Sox won the ALCS in seven games. Even during that season, the Indians got off to a horrible start, but was unable to sneak into the playoffs because of an incredible second-half. They have been known as a second-half team under Wedge, but the last two seasons they have looked bad. It didn’t help that they traded away Sabathia, Casey Blake, Mark DeRosa, Cliff Lee, and Victor Martinez over the last 15 months. GM Mark Shapiro could be next if the next manager can’t win in a hurry. The Indians just don’t have the personnel to win right now, especially after some of those trades that they made trading away their stars. Usually teams load up on prospects, but the teams are trying to stash away their prospects in order to protect their future, so they got 40 cents on the dollar in return. I could be a rough couple seasons in Cleveland.

The Browns are already having a rough season and they have only played three games. The entire offense has looked horrible under new head coach Eric Mangini. He spent the entire off-season and pre-season trying to decide who was going to be his starting quarterback. Brady Quinn won the job, even if it was because no one really stepped up to take the job. He has not look very good so far this season, he has only one passing touchdown. He was pulled in the middle of the game last weekend for Derek Anderson. Anderson didn’t take his time and his pass was picked off. He ended up throwing another interception later in the game and he looked worse than Quinn. Mangini named Anderson as his starting quarterback this weekend and the immediate future. I don’t think this was the move that needed to be made, but what can a guy do that looks like he could be fired after only three games. This is a move of desperation and I doubt it will pay off. The Browns are bad and this move made them even worse.

Finally, this is the most bizarre story of them all. Earlier this month, Cleveland Cavaliers guard, Delonte West, was pulled over riding a three-wheeled motorcycle. After he was pulled over, he told the police officer that had had a gun on him, after a search, he had more than one gun. He had a gun in his waistband, one in his leg, and some guns in a guitar case. Yes, just like Antonio Banderas, “El Mariachi” style, that is insane! He already has had a history of mental illness and he said that he feared for his safety. Well, to make matters worse, he didn’t show up to training camp. Little is known about the reasoning behind why he has been absent, but Lebron James came out today that he is still welcome on the team. I don’t know man, sounds like this guy could be a mix between J.R. Rider and Ron Artest. The Cavs have a nice team lined up, but West is a nice post-up player, without him, they could be hurting.

Okay, the reason why Cleveland can rejoice is because there is a blogger convention called, Sports Media 360 during the weekend of October 23-25th being held at Progressive Field. I’ll be there and so will many of the best in the Midwest and beyond. Tickets are reasonable and if you’re a blogger, get your ticket and experience an amazing conference and meet your fellow bloggers.

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Why You Shouldn’t Draft These Players

Going into your fantasy football draft, you have a few players already planned that if they are available, you’re going to pick them. You may have an allegiance to them because they are on your favorite team or your favorite fantasy football analyst picked them to have a big year. If you’re on the fence about a few players, here are reasons why you shouldn’t pick certain players. I’m just talking you guys off the ledge, not pushing you off. All of these players will probably be great, but they all have possibilities of an epic fail this year.

Tom Brady – Did you see how his knee bent last year? Also, I’m pretty sure he’s using all of energy on Gisele Bundchen, wouldn’t you?

Aaron Rodgers – Before last season, he was known as “injury-prone,” one full season and that suddenly disappears?

DeAngelo Williams – Jonathan Stewart is a touchdown vulcher…even if he’s only 70% healthy, he’ll still get touches in the red zone.

Michael Turner – see DeAngelo Williams, but add in Tony Gonzalez as the touchdown vulcher.

Jay Cutler – It’s hard to throw a football with a pacifier in your mouth.

Peyton Manning – He spent the off-season filming commercials and Marvin Harrison is currently sitting on a couch somewhere.

Adrian Peterson – Brett Favre is in town and he’s the NFL version of Stephon Marbury, he’s a ball hog.

Donovan McNabb – He looks like he’s been eating a lot of Chunky Soup lately…probably an extra 15 pounds of beef and potatoes in his mid-section.

Matt Cassel – I hear Scott Mitchell called and he said that he wishes him the best this season.

Thomas Jones – He had more candles on his last birthday cake than touchdowns he has left in his career.

LaDanian Tomlinson – Emmit Smith looked good in a Cardinals uniform right? Jerry Rice was great for the Seahawks, right? Tomlinson will probably look good in a Texans uniform next year too.

Chad Pennington – Does he have any ligaments or tendons left in his arm?

Brian Westbrook – The Eagles have already ear-marked a spot on the injury report for him, right between Reggie Brown and Kevin Curtis.

David Garrard – If he can somehow be able to throw from his back, maybe he can throw a few touchdowns.

Maurice Jones-Drew – When Warrick Dunn went to the only option in the backfield he had his worst year.

Calvin Johnson – He should probably play quarterback and throw passes to himself.

Chris Johnson – LenDale White will eat him by Week 4.

Brandon Jacobs – You should probably pick him early or he will go to your draft and give you a power-bomb courtesy of Captain Insano.

Eli Manning – You may have a better year if you draft Archie.

Steven Jackson – Remember when he was a first-round pick? Back when the Rams played like an NFL team…it’s been awhile.

Kyle Orton – Did you see his pre-season games? That’s probably why he’s still available.

Matt Schaub – Do you think he will be healthy all year this season? Didn’t you ask youself that the last two seasons?

Marion Barber – I’m sure Felix Jones won’t take any touchdowns away from him this year…even though Jerry Jones is in love with him. Nah, go ahead and draft him, yeah….yeah.

Ben Roethlisberger – After getting punished last year by an awful offensive line pass protection, they have improved it right? No? Okay, stay away from Big Ben.

Kevin Smith – He plays for the Detroit Lions.

Tony Gonzalez – The Falcons were 31st in the NFL at throwing to the tight end last season.

Terrell Owens – He will be a contestant for “I Love New York” by mid-season. No one will notice that he is gone.

Brandon Marshall – An emotional, hot-headed, receiver always does well when their team is bad. I’m sure he will keep his composure and not demand a trade. Oops!

Trent Edwards – I’m glad that he has that Stanford degree to fall back on. I hear J.P. Losman already landed a new job.

JaMarcus Russell – Al Davis bet the farm on him, but he looks like he has eaten all of the animals.

Reggie Bush – Kim Kardashian broke up with him, his year has already started horribly, do you think its going to get better?

Larry Johnson – Todd Haley loves to pass the ball, the Arizona Cardinals running attack was putrid last year.

Willie Parker – Don’t turn around, Rashard Mendenhall is right behind you.

Chad Ocho Cinco – I’m sure all that UStream experience will be handy on the field.

Joseph Addai – When your team drafts a top player at your position, how do you take it?

Braylon Edwards – Maybe he will get an endorsement for “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter,” on top of his “5-Hour Energy” endorsment money.

Darren McFadden – He plays on a team where his coach broke the face of an assistant. Sounds like a good team atmosphere for a break-out season.

Michael Vick – A few months out of prison and all the pressure to perform well to resurrect his career…you think he’ll be pretty calm and clear-minded?

Brady Quinn – Express and Limited Corporations are located in Ohio, maybe he can pose for some modeling campaigns on the sideline when he’s holding a clipboard by mid-season.
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God, Help Me!

After a rough day of college football and non-competitive college basketball games, I am stuck with the Browns/Bengals game on my television. These teams are two of the worst teams to watch since 50% of each of their teams are on injured reserve. Brady Quinn, Derek Anderson, Carson Palmer, Chad Johnson (Ocho Cinco), Kellen Winslow, and about thirty other players are not going to play in this game. This leaves me with watching a Ken Dorsey vs. Ryan Fitzpatrick match-up.

I want to have fun while watching this game, so these are the things that are going to keep me interested.

– Drink every time Braylon Edwards drops a ball.

– Over/Under 2 minutes into the game that they start talking about next season for both of these teams.

– Over/Under 4 times, that the announcers talk about Ken Dorsey’s college career.

– Count the amount of people with bags over their heads vs. the idiots without any shirts on

– The Bengals should have less points than people in the team with felony charges

– Realize that Romeo Crennel outweighs most of his offensive linemen

– Laugh repeatedly when the announcers describe the history of this rivalry and try to make it sound watchable.

I’m not sure if I will be able to make it through this game, this might be my last post. If I don’t make it, I hereby bequeath this blog to my roommate.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Out On A Limb – 2008 NFL Predictions

Seems like all football analysts want to do is say some random thing that they think may happen this season and if they come true, they are awesome, if they don’t, they never mention them again. It sounds like a fun game, so I want to play. These are some predictions that seems out-of-the-box, but of course I will stay with tradition and brag if any of these become remotely true.

– I want to start off with the man in the picture, Brady Quinn. He will become the starter for Cleveland by week 8. Derek Anderson is a one-year wonder, much like Scott Mitchell was for Detroit in the mid-90s.

– Vince Young will end the season with more touchdowns than interceptions

– Larry Johnson will rush for 1600 yards and 17 touchdowns

– The Jets will win the AFC East

– Chad Johnson will lead the AFC in receiving yards

– Tom Brady will throw less than 30 TDs this season

– Kurt Warner will throw more than 30 TDs this season

– The Houston Texans will make the playoffs

– Matt Ryan will win Offensive Rookie Of The Year

– Adrian Peterson will only play in 10 games this season

– Shawne Merriman will get at least 8 sacks and play in at least 13 games.

– Drew Brees will lead the New Orleans Saints to win the NFC South

– J.T. O’Sullivan will throw for more than 28 TDs

– The St. Louis Rams will be better than 8-8

– The Kansas Chiefs will have the worse record in the NFL

– Marvin Harrison will retire after this season

– Daunte Culpepper will have signed with a team by week 6

– Nate Burleson will lead the Seahawks in receiving and TDs

– Rex Grossman will start at least 5 games this season

– Jerod Mayo will win Defensive Rookie Of The Year

– Marshawn Lynch will have a better fantasy season than Ladainian Tomlinson

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.