Asdrubal’s Unassisted 3-Way

The Cleveland Indians’ 2nd baseman may not be having a good season, but he did something that hasn’t been done by an Indian since Little Big Horn. Asdrubal Cabrera, which in Spanish means “pearl necklace,” but I’m only speculating on that, completed the rare unassisted triple-play. The feat was only the first time it has been done since, um, last year, but Cabrera is only the 14th person to do it. Troy Tulowitzki did it last year, but no Cleveland Indians player since 1909 accomplished the unassisted triple-play.

I know there are a million dirty things I could say about the term “unassisted triple-play” or the fact the man wears a pearl necklace everyday when he plays. I think I will leave it alone and hopefully he gets an “assisted triple-play” with two of Cleveland’s finest ladies tonight. (Once again I’m speculating, I’m not sure what Cleveland has to offer in the lady department)

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Home Sweet Home

Home-court advantage has played a very significant role in the NBA playoffs this season. In the conference semi-finals the home team is 15-1 (the Orlando Magic had to mess up the perfect record). The Celtics did look like the team to beat, until they arrived in Cleveland. Boston appeared like they had too many 23 cent pizzas on thursday and look sluggish. Lebron James hasn’t played very well at all, yet they tied the series 2-2 tonight. The Celtics are getting flashbacks of the Atlanta series, but Cleveland is an actual NBA team, not an NBA D-League team that currently plays in Atlanta. Ray Allen has disappeared and Pierce looks like Antoine Walker lately. If the trend of home teams winning stays true, this series should go seven games.

The New Orleans/San Antonio series looked like a possible sweep after the first two games. Tim Duncan played like Jerome James and he wasn’t getting help from Manu Ginobli’s bald spot or Mr. Eva Longoria. Chris Paul was playing his best in the biggest games of his career so far. Peja Stojakovic was forgot that he was washed up and playing like he did while with the Kings. Unfortunately for the Hornets, Duncan woke up and the Spurs had hard to beat at home. The Hornets/Spurs series appears to be a possible seven game series.Kobe Bryant at the Lakers have their hands full with the Utah Jazz. The Jazz didn’t show up in Los Angeles, but Utah only lost four games at home all season. Kobe injured his back in Game 4 and had to stand up during the post-game conference. If Kobe isn’t 100% for Game 5, I think Utah could sneak a win and clinch the series in Utah. David Stern will probably hate to see Utah advance, but Andrei Kirilenko started actually playing again and he will break you.

The Detroit/Orlando series will not go seven games. Orlando is a good team, but Detroit’s experience is proving to be too much for them to handle. The Magic will be a contender next season, but Dwight Howard needs another big man to help him in the low-post. Howard’s offensive skills start and end with his dunking ability. If they draft or sign a free-agent who can score 15 a game and can hit a 20-foot jumper, Howard will benefit. They need a player like Mehmet Okur, who can take shots from the outside that would leave Howard one-on-one to fight for the rebound.

I would like to see Jazz/Hornets and Celtics/Pistons Conference Finals, but I am afraid I couldn’t stomach another Pistons/Spurs in the NBA Finals. They are both good teams and deserving to be there, but I would like to see something new and fresh. I feel like the NBA Finals have been stuck on repeat the last few seasons and I want to push the shuffle button and see what happens.

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Idolizing – McRib

My “Idolizing” section was meant for people who are innovative or whose career I wish I had. I will make this exception and put the McRib in my Idolizing section of the site.

I think the McRib is one of those things you want when you can’t get one, but when they are available, you get one here and there. I’m still not sure why McDonalds doesn’t add the sandwich to their regular menu. I’m sure they could replace the Filet O’Fish and no one would even notice. Do you know anyone who has ordered a fish sandwich at McDonalds in the last ten years? I’ll wait…I didn’t think so. Continue reading

Song Of The Day – Above & Beyond (Can’t Sleep)

I know what you’re thinking, “It’s Mother’s Day, where is Boyz II Men’s “Song For Mama” at?” Well, I didn’t want to wuss up the page today.

Above & Beyond are a techno/trance group from London and their song “Can’t Sleep” always rings a bell with me. You may notice that I don’t really post from 9am-5pm like most sports/music blogs. I have an extreme case of the “I can’t sleep worth craps,” which doctors like to call insomnia. Sometimes I like to think that I live a double-life when I think I’m sleeping, a.k.a. Tyler Durden. I think I’ve watched Fight Club way too much. Note to self: I think I’m breaking the first rule of Fight Club by speaking out it.

When I have trouble sleeping, I apparently enjoy songs that deal with people who can’t sleep either.

Here is the song “Can’t Sleep (Original Mix)” by Above & Beyond.s

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Richie Sexson Gets UFC Try-Out

Richie Sexson is the tallest player in the majors and also the biggest target. After Felix Hernandez, the ace of the Seattle Mariners, plunked a couple players on the Texas Rangers, many expected some retaliation. Kason Gabbard was pitching for the Rangers when Sexson came up to bat. Gabbard’s pitch was very high in the zone and Sexson took offense to the pitch and charged the mound. He threw his helmet at Gabbard’s head and tackled him to the ground. Not much damage was done to anyone in the bench-clearing brawl, but Sexson received a 6-game suspension.

Kason Gabbard doesn’t seem like a very bright guy. If you look at the Mariners line-up there are plenty of guys much smaller and scary than Sexson. Jose Vidro and Adrian Beltre are both around six-feet tall and easier to throw a pitch that looks like a mistake. You cannot fool anyone if you throw the ball towards the head of a 6’8 baseball player. If you put Sexson and Gabbard in the octagon, Gabbard would be destroyed and possibly maimed. I do give him some dap, he definitely has his team’s back and balls the size of Texas.

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Song Of The Day – Chromeo (Fancy Footwork)

Chromeo was featured as MTV’s band of the week in October of 2007. That means that there were many vignettes of them playing in-between commercial breaks. MTV is known for their lengthy and many commercial breaks, so they received a lot of exposure. Their style is electro meets keytar, which I can say they are pretty unique. I got their album in October, after seeing them repeatedly on said channel, and I was quite pleased. It’s one of those albums that you can’t sit around and play it and do something. When you play their album “Fancy Footwork” you will notice a lot of bobbing of your head.

Chromeo may never be the biggest band, but you will like them for what they are, an awesome duo.

Here’s the funny video for “Fancy Footwork.”

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Florida Marlins To Sign Toddlers, Still Contend

The Florida Marlins must have signed a deal with the devil. Their overall payroll is $22 million dollars, which is less than A-Rod or Manny Ramirez makes in a year. Their team is filled with kids under the age of 25 and still win more games than expected. They are currently in 1st place in the NL East, which was supposed to be a 3-way race among the Phillies, Mets, and Braves. They have so much talent that they kept their #1 prospect, Cameron Maybin, in the minors to mature, since they are already loaded with outfielders.

Hanley Ramirez is this team’s MVP and he will be the league MVP before his career is over. He’s the definition of a five-tool player with his power, speed, high batting average, defense, and a rocket arm. He was acquired in the Josh Beckett deal with the Boston Red Sox. Beckett helped the Sox win championships, but you would have to think that they didn’t know what they had. Ramirez will command a $200 million dollar contract when he is a free agent. He is the best hitting shortstop since Alex Rodriguez played the position.

Josh Willingham, Jeremy Hermida, and Alfredo Amezaga are the outfielders for the Marlins. Luis Gonzalez, who is their lone veteran position player, he platoons and is a positive influence on the young players. Maybin is waiting in the wings if one of the outfielders doesn’t produce, which will only make these guys play harder. Hermida and Willingham were highly-touted prospects, they have a lot of talent, but yet to stay healthy enough to play up to their potential. They have both played very well this year and look for them to have breakout seasons.The infield could possibly be one of the best offensive infields in the league. Jorge Cantu has been a surprise so far this year and if he continues to hit for power, will have over 30 home-runs. Dan Uggla, their second-basemen, has surprised everyone since 2006 and he is still producing. Mike Jacobs is my favorite in this group, he seems to have enough raw power to hit 40+ homers and could possibly draw a lot of prospects in a trade, behind Ramirez. If the Marlins can find an everyday catcher in their farm system, this Marlins team will be solid from top to bottom.

The Achilles’ heel of the Marlins would be their pitching. Scott Olsen and Mark Hendrickson have been pitching great, but is questionable if they can sustain this over an entire season. Andrew Miller, a piece they received in return in the Cabrera/Willis trade to Detroit, should gain some experience this season. They need him to work long enough into games that their bullpen doesn’t get tired out. Kevin Gregg, their closer, has experience in the role and should be solid over the stretch.We may only be a quarter into the season, but if the Marlins keep putting up runs, their pitching will have won’t be pressured and be relaxed. Florida always has a small-window for winning a championship, all of these prospects will command huge contacts and will only be around for a couple seasons.

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Song Of The Day – Forever The Sickest Kids (Whoa Oh)

My friends Cheech and Shitgoose love Forever The Sickest Kids. I haven’t listened to them much, but I’ve heard a lot about them. Their EP was a huge hit among people who like the genre of pop punk, I would compare them to the band All Time Low, but with the use of electronic loops.

Forever The Sickest Kids just released their debut full-length album, “Underdog Alma Mater,” and I’m sure their record label are hoping they will help resurrect album sales. I saw an entire section at Hot Topic dedicated to their merchandise. They will be on Vans Warped Tour this summer, so make sure you see them now before they blow up and charge $50 a ticket.

Here’s the track “Whoa Oh (Me vs. Everyone)

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Okay, I Don’t Want To Live In Cleveland

I am retracting my story from earlier, you can CLICK HERE view my earlier story. I wanted to live in Cleveland, just for one day, so I could enjoy the 23 cent Papa John’s pizza. It turns out that everybody wanted some pizza yesterday. Some people stood in line over 5 hours for some pizza and in Euclid, OH, riots ensued and the police had to be called.

Papa John’s corporation sent out a memo to their franchises and said that the stores could close their doors once 900 pies were sold. It looks like that could end up being a short night for some stores.

I don’t think that I would wait in line for more than 30 minutes for even a free pizza. I do love Papa John’s pizza, but I’ve got better things to do, kind of.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

2008 Un-All-Star Team

We’re almost 40 games into the season and I’ve noticed that some big names are hitting below or hovering around .200 batting average. Some big names are off to some horrible starts this season. I have never seen a year like this before. You have your usual slow-starters (Robinson Cano) and you have your usually consistent players (Gary Sheffield) not serving their team very well.

I made up an UN-All-Star team, this team is made up of everyday players that are hitting below the Mendoza line of .200 or almost.

Infield
Rickie Weeks .195
Robinson Cano .157
Kenju Johjima .189
Ben Broussard .159
Johnny Estrada .179
Casey Blake .202
Ryan Howard .168

Outfield
Andruw Jones .158
Alfonso Soriano .177
Nick Swisher .196
Jose Guillen .165
Jim Edmunds .172
Michael Bourn .194

Designated Hitter (barely)
Gary Sheffield .176
Jose Vidro .192
Jim Thome .209
Jason Giambi .157

I can slightly understand why some position players can get off to a slow start, especially in cold weather, but designated hitters? David Ortiz would have joined this list, but he is now hitting .226, which is much better than a week ago.

Andruw Jones should spend some time on the bench. The Dodgers can’t let Juan Pierre sit on the pine if Jones isn’t going to hit. The Dodgers are already looking for ways to get out of his contract, they are thankful that Scott Boras didn’t talk them into a long-term deal. They should have known better, anyone could have seen this coming from his horrible performance last year.

Also, some honorable mentions to this list include Ken Griffy Jr, Adam Dunn, and Carlos Pena. These players are hitting over .200, but dangerously close. Those three guys will all probably hit at least 30 homers this season, but unless they heat up with the weather, I don’t see their averages being very good.

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Song Of The Day – We The Kings (Check Yes Juliet)

America’s White Boy is an aficionado of the works of Shakespeare and any song with Juliet in the name will get some dap. Don’t hate, I had to take a course on Billy Shakespeare in college and after awhile I started to realize that the dude knew what he was talking about.

Anyways, We The Kings is a new band that is getting a lot of airplay for their new single “Check Yes Juliet.” They released a single in late 2007 called “Skyway Avenue,” but sadly it didn’t catch on. You can’t feel sorry for them, they are becoming successful with “Juliet.” They have opened for many pop-punk/emo bands in the past and will soon be headlining tours. You can see them this summer, they will be on every stop of the Van Warped Tour.

Check out the video for “Check Yes Juliet”

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Jon Kitna Counts To 10, Receives Cookie

Jon Kitna made a bold prediction last year by predicting 10 wins for the 2007 season. He didn’t do himself any favors by saying that his “expectations” are 10 wins this season. He later mentioned that every player should have those expectations, but sadly Kitna is the only one that seems to make the 10-win declarations. I think the only person that feels as strong as Kitna about their team is Joe “The Lions Are Decent” Pasquali, his picture is at the end of the article.

Kitna better worry more about keeping his job than counting wins this season. Since Mike Martz left to go to San Francisco, this offense will be in need of a more consistent, conservative quarterback. Jim Colletto is the Lions’ new offensive coordinator and he is known to run the ball, which is something Martz clearly didn’t know how to do. Kitna has some competition on the roster with Dan Orlovsky and Drew Stanton. He will likely share snaps in camp until a starter is named before the season.

Here is a picture of Joe, he looks as lost as Kitna does running the offense.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.