Category Archives: dallas cowboys

Why Your Team Didn’t Win The Super Bowl – NFC

Everyone has a team that they are loyal towards and most fans had their dreams crushed at some point this season. Some teams had a tough defeat in the playoffs and some teams never really had any shot at the Super Bowl. It was a long season with many ups and downs and some team’s seasons could have been salvaged by one single play that didn’t go their way or a string of bad GM decisions. Here are the reasons why your NFC team didn’t win the Super Bowl.

Arizona Cardinals – They thought the Super Bowl was only 58 minutes long. I can’t imagine how it feel to be Kurt Warner. He has been on the sideline while two, almost all three, of his Super Bowls were lost.

Atlanta Falcons – They were just happy to make the playoffs, but when they got there, they didn’t give Arizona any credit. The Falcons should be good for years, they won’t make this mistake again.

Carolina Panthers – They thought that Jake Delhomme was good enough to still be their quarterback. Like the Falcons mistake, they probably won’t make this mistake again.

Chicago Bears – They depend on a quarterback who thinks a neckbeard is fashionable. I know Rex Grossman isn’t any better, but they had a chance to trade for Donavon McNabb at some point last off-season and didn’t do it.

Dallas Cowboys – Tony Romo met Jessica Simpson. I know this didn’t happen this season, but seems like all the tabloid coverage has really hurt his on-field ability to win games.

Detroit Lions – Barry Sanders retired. It has been that long since the words Lions and playoffs have been in the sentence or paragraph.

Green Bay Packers – They let the Brett Favre saga drag on for too long. All the drama that surrounded the Packers was counter-productive to their growth as a team.

Minnesota Vikings – They have no other offense weapons other than Adrian Peterson. I know Visanthe Shiancoe has a weapon, but we can’t talk about that on this blog.

New Orleans Saints – They drafted Reggie Bush. That draft choice should have went towards a defensive player, in hindsight, but aren’t we all a genius when hindsight is in involved?

New York Giants – Plaxico Burress bought a gun. If Plax didn’t shoot himself, I’m sure that they would have beat the Eagles in the playoffs. Hixon couldn’t handle the burden of being the #1 receiver.

Philadelphia Eagles – Donovan McNabb’s conditioning. It is a trend that McNabb becomes gassed as the game goes on. He can’t finish games and needs to lose the extra 20 pounds of Chunky Soup weight he has put on over the last few seasons.

San Francisco 49ers – Mike Nolan was their coach at the beginning of the year. Mike Singletary proved his worth as a coach and will be the best sound bite in the NFL over the next few years.

Seattle Seahawks – Their entire offense was in the hospital by Week 3. Not only was their entire receiving squad on injury report, but Matt Hasselbeck barely played.

St. Louis Rams – Orlando Pace retired. Pace was a major reason for all the success the Rams had during their prime. He kept the quarterback upright and once he was gone, Bulger was eating more grass than a cow.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – The team was distracted by Jeff Garcia’s hot wife. I can’t think of any real reason why they didn’t even make the playoffs, but they collapsed the last few weeks of the season. Jon Gruden wished he knew the reason too, he may still have his job.

Washington Redskins – They hired Jim Zorn. The first game of the year, they were killed by the Giants, then they went on a run, but then they hit a wall. Zorn is probably the least qualified to be a head coach and his play-calling was mind-boggling at times.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

2009 Off-Season – NFC Team Needs

In 2008, we didn’t have the one dominant team like we had last season. We did have a lot of good teams (Giants, Panthers, Eagles), but they still all had more than three losses each. Every team in the NFC has needs and this off-season will be full of free agent signings, trades, and drafting young talent. Here are all 16 NFC teams and their main need going into next season. I could write and entire post about the Lions needs, but I’ll spare everyone’s eyes and just list one.

Detroit Lions – Defensive End – I could go quarterback or every other position here, but they need to get to put pressure on the quarterback.

Chicago Bears – Wide Receiver
– Devin Hester and Brandon Lloyd aren’t #1 or #2 WRs in the NFL.

Green Bay Packers – Cornerback – Their secondary is getting older and they need some youth to keep up with the speed of the WRs.

Minnesota Vikings – Cornerback – Their defensive line is one of the best in the NFL, unfortunately teams can pass all over them.

New York Giants – Wide Receiver – Plaxico Burress will not be back in 2009 and this team will not go far with Domenik Hixon as your #1 option.

Philadelphia Eagles – Wide Receiver – If Donovan McNabb comes back in 2009, remember how he played with T.O.? The Eagles need a legit #1 receiver to catch passes, not Reggie Brown or Kevin Curtis.

Dallas Cowboys – Offensive Line
– Tony Romo was on his back after every snap the last four games of the season. If you protect Romo and give him time, he can help get this team to the playoffs.

Washington Redskins – Offensive Line – With Jim Zorn as the head coach, the Redskins will be a run-first offense. Clinton Portis will have a monster season if you give him some holes.

Carolina Panthers – Tight End – Jake Delhomme is stacked with every offensive tool but Tight End. If they work on a short passing game, the long ball will be there for Steve Smith.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Linebacker – Derrick Brooks is getting older and I’m not completely sold on Cato June. If they want to keep the Tampa 2 intact once Monte Kiffin leaves, they need to get better at Linebacker.

Atlanta Falcons – Cornerback – The Falcons have a nice defensive line and linebacker personnel, but lack an elite corner. They have to fill the void that DeAngelo Hall left, back when he was good.

New Orleans Saints – Safety – The Saints were passed on in every game this season. They need a good safety to help cover when their corners get beat.

Arizona Cardinals – Running Back
– If Arizona had a decent running back, they wouldn’t have staggered into the playoffs. Tim Hightower and his sub-3.0 yards per attempt isn’t going to cut it in the desert.

San Francisco 49ers – Defensive End – With Mike Singletary as their coach, the 49ers need to take on the personality of the ’85 Bears. They don’t have anyone to put pressure on the quarterback. I hear Julius Peppers is a free agent, he would look good next to Patrick Willis.

Seattle Seahawks – Running Back
– Matt Hasselbeck may only have a few more seasons left in him and he’ll do in this re-building period. A running back tandem of Maurice Morris and Julius Jones deserves an upgrade.

St. Louis Rams – Left Tackle – The Rams have to replace the spot Orlando Pace stood for many years. If there isn’t any left tackles in free agency, Alabama has a couple nice tackles that could be available with the St. Louis pick.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

"The Bodyguard" (Not Starring Whitney Houston)

Pacman, I mean, Adam Jones seems to be in trouble with the NFL. I am not quite sure what the problem is, I really don’t at all. Allegedly, Pacman and a bodyguard that was hired to keep him out of trouble, got in a tussle in a hotel bathroom. They went to a Ludacris concert and there is a possibility of some alcohol being involved. I’m still not seeing a problem here.

A mirror was broken in the bathroom and no charges were filed and a police report wasn’t even written. The bodyguard and Jones was said to be goofing around and then suddenly things went bad and that’s when the argument/girl fight occurred.

I have a few problems with this even being a story. First of all, this bodyguard was working for the Dallas Cowboys to watch over Pacman. I am only assuming, but I hope this dude was either as big or bigger than an O-Lineman. Secondly, if this dude was big, and I’m pretty sure he had to be, how was this even a fight? Pacman is 5’9 at best and couldn’t weigh more than 200 lbs. I know he has some “street” in him, but was he packing a weapon to even make it a fair fight? I want to see a picture of the bodyguard and that would pretty much end the conversation. If the bodyguard couldn’t take care of a short cornerback, how could he hope to guard him from anyone of average stature and weight? Was this bodyguard Tony Mandarich or Robert Gallery? Anyone could get buy those guys.

I want everyone to stop talking about this story. Pacman Jones, yes I said it, is an average defensive back and doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things for the Cowboys. He is an excellent returner, but he isn’t even doing that for Dallas, Felix Jones has that job. Jerry Jones shouldn’t worry about Pacman and if anything remotely happens like this again, I hope he cuts him. They are going to battle this season to earn a playoff spot. The NFC East is a beast and one of those teams won’t make the playoffs and all these distractions will only hurt the team.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Hurricane Ike Is Not My Homeboy

After spending all day Sunday and most of Monday without power, I would like to say that whatever was left of Hurricane Ike, really put a hurtin’ on Central Ohio. I was minding my own business on Sunday, just watching Jillian Barberie or Jillian Reynolds do the weather on FOX NFL Pre-game and then I thought I saw a cow fly across the parking lot. By the way, who the heck did Jillian marry this time? I remember her ex, Bret Barberie, I actually had his rookie card when he played for the Montreal Expos. I was actually surprised to find out that he actually bagged such a dime.

Central Ohio was hit with winds of a category one hurricane and tore it a new one. I know the people of Houston and Galveston were hit much, much harder, but no national news outlet is giving us any dap. In fact, most of the region’s electric personnel was in Texas helping out. This delayed us from getting back to normal. I must have went through 20 red lights that were treated as 4-way stops on my way to work today. It was a hassle and caused a major cramp in the little style I have. I actually listened to the entire album of “The Secret Handshake,” and I forgot how much I like that guy.

I should be posting more, but since I didn’t watch a single NFL game on Sunday, I can’t really do a “What I Learned” for Week 2, unless my post is only about the Eagles/Cowboys game.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

"Hard Knocks" Is The Best Thing On TV

I didn’t get into the television series “Hard Knocks” until last season. I didn’t have HBO, so I didn’t get to see this amazing series. Last season the series followed the Kansas City Chiefs through training camp. It made the uninteresting Chiefs into something must-see. Even though I got to know more about Bobby Sippio and Larry Johnson than I should, it gives you an insider’s view of what goes on in the preparation of an NFL team.

“Hard Knocks” is following the Dallas Cowboys this season and it is as interesting as it sounds. You get to see a different side of every major player on “America’s Team.” I’ve seen the first four episodes of the season and episode five will be shown this weekend. My only suggestion is that they show Marion Barber, he must be a pretty bland guy. They have been showing how well Felix Jones is playing, yet the starter, Barber, hasn’t even been mentioned. Here are some of things I’ve noticed about the players that they are featuring.

Tank Johnson – He loves the “f” word and when they end team meetings, you see him almost running out of there. He seems like the guy I thought he was, so far I haven’t seen him strapped or carrying any kind of weapon. It’s only training camp, stay tuned.

Keon Lattimore – He’s best known as being the younger brother of Ray Lewis. He hasn’t had much playing time and he’s probably a long shot of making the team. Ray Lewis is good television, so he should stick around until the end of the last show and he’ll be cut.

Tony Romo – He actually seems like a good guy. Yeah, he reminds me of a typical jock from small-town American, but you would be lucky to pick up some secondhand ladies that probably attach themselves to his entourage.

Terrell Owens – My perception of T.O. has been totally contradicted by this show. I’m not sure if he is playing it up for the cameras or if he is actually a really good guy. He was even shown playing with Jerry Jones’ grandchildren. I think he may have actually matured.

Martellus Bennett – I hope this guy eventually takes Jason Witten’s job in a few seasons. He’s a big, talented, and pretty funny. He may not be the brightest guy in the room, but he’ll be a productive tight-end in the NFL.

Todd Lowber – Is it me or does this guy always have the “I don’t have a freakin’ clue what is happening right now” look on his face? He is a converted basketball player turned wide-receiver, but I don’t see any legitimate shot of this guy making this team at all. If by some slim chance that he makes the roster, he will be replaced by a proven receiver who was a cap casualty cut at the end of training camp from another team. Terry Glenn could even come back, Jerry Jones said in the first episode that it is still a possibility.

Jason Witten – I haven’t learned much about Witten other than he has a kid that can’t hold a helmet on his head without falling over. He better have another amazing year or that Bennett kid could creep up and take his job.

Pacman Jones – T.O. and him had some battles early on in camp that was fun to watch. He also showed his skills of catching six punt returns in a row, while keeping all the previous balls in hands. He is a talented guy and I hope he keeps out of trouble.

Roy Williams – This guy just loves to hit people. Coach Phillips told him to just tag players during a scrimmage and by the end of it he was trying to lay out dudes. Williams changed his number back to his college ’38’ and looks like it could have changed his focus back towards football and less towards banging members of Destiny’s Child.

Zach Thomas – He’s an old guy, but if he can rejuvenate his career by playing for a contender, he’s in the right situation. The dude was a beast early in his career with Miami, he’s a good addition.

Patrick Crayton – Any guy who comes into a team meeting wearing just a towel gets an A+ in my book. He also tied Pacman’s punt return total by catching six with all the balls still in his hand. He is definitely ready to step into the 2nd wide-receiver position left open by the cutting of Terry Glenn.

Bobby Carpenter – The television show has not been kind to Mr. Carpenter. They have shown him as a pretty boy and that he is soft. Guys from the team were even talking crap to him by calling him Barbie Carpenter and a punk bitch. Later on in the fourth episode the coaches and players were talking very positively about Carpenter, but seeing him getting the rookie treatment while he’s in his third season is always fun to watch. Maybe he can talk the Cowboys into trading for A.J. Hawk or trading him to Green Bay, seems like he was only useful with Hawk on his side.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.