Category Archives: bill simmons

ESPN Suspends Bill Simmons After Roger Goodell Rant

ESPN suspends Bill Simmons sad Roger Goodell Grantland Sports GuyIf you’re a sports fan, you know Bill Simmons. He started as a blogger in Boston as ‘the voice of the common sports fan’ and then somehow morphed into an occasional blowhard and talking head on ESPN. He’s also the creator of the 30 for 30 documentary series and is the editor at Grantland.

Simmons used to write a lot more, but now he’s mostly just does his ‘The B.S. Report’ podcast and is a member of ESPN’s studio team during NBA games. He writes a weekly million-word NFL picks column during NFL season and random NBA articles (his NBA preview with Jalen Rose is about to drop).

Well, on ‘The B.S. Report’ this week, Simmons went off on a tangent and called Roger Goodell a liar (while using a few adult words). He then dared ESPN executives to punish him for his rant. ESPN did just that and suspended Simmons for three weeks.

Here was my reaction when I heard the news: Continue reading

Please, Stop Giving Kevin Durant Horrible Nicknames!

Kevin Durant Bad Nickname Slim Reaper The Servant NBA Oklahoma City ThunderNBA fans, and those who make a living covering the NBA, have been trying to make a nickname stick on Kevin Durant since his rookie season. Attempts have ran the gamut from just his initials ‘K.D.’ to the horrible ‘Durantula’ moniker.

This is Durant’s seventh season in the NBA. I cannot remember a time when an athlete in any major sport got a nickname to stick this late into their professional career. A nickname is usually something a player receives at a young age and sticks throughout the rest of his career. If the nickname doesn’t stick, it’s not a good nickname.

Well, basketball fans (especially ESPN‘s Bill Simmons), are still obsessed with a Durant nickname. On The B.S. Report podcast, Simmons even asked Durant what he wanted to be called. His answer was worse than expected…

Continue reading

Must Watch: NBA TV’s ‘Dream Team’ Documentary

There wasn’t a definitive documentary about the most important basketball team ever created. HBO was rumored to be working on a documentary about ‘The Dream Team’, but nothing materialized.

ESPN’s ’30 for 30′ documentary series raised the bar for sports documentaries. Bill Simmons once said in a podcast that he wanted to make a ‘Dream Team’ documentary, but the rights to the video from the 1992 Olympics were too expensive.

NBA TV stepped up to the plate and is debuting their documentary The Dream Team tonight at 9pm EST. I have viewed parts of the movie which is certain to be an instant classic. It contains never-before-seen video of a scrimmage that you will never believe the outcome. I list a few of the intriguing moments you will see tonight and post a video of the movie trailer. Continue reading

I’m Officially Announcing My Candidacy To Be An NBA GM

Charles Barkley has came out recently that he wants a job being a general manager in the NBA. He hasn’t been the only person to lobby for this position. Deadspin recently wrote a review for Bill Simmons’ book, “The Book of Basketball,” and said it was a 700-page resumé to be an NBA GM. I guess since everyone else is doing it, why not me?

Dear NBA Owners,

My name is Bobby Roberts, but I am known around the internet as “Sweetbob.” I am writing you to officially announce my candidacy for a general manager position with one of your teams. I know that there are more qualified than me and probably know more about the game than me, but c’mon, it would be a fun gig!

Here is the scenario, remember the movie “Eddie” starring the great Whoopi Goldberg? It would be a real-life version, but hopefully a lot more entertaining. Once I am announced as your new general manager, just imagine all of the press that your team would get. I would be on big news programs like “ESPN’s First Take” or “Last Call with Carson Daly.”

I’m from Indiana, so I have that going for me. Larry Bird didn’t have any executive experience before he got the gig in Indiana and look what he’s done! He’s been the #9 seed in the East the last few years, what an amazing job he has done. I also went to an Indiana University affiliate, the same college that pumped out great NBA executives like Isiah Thomas and Mark Cuban.

I am throwing my hat in the ring for the same reason why Charles Barkley and Bill Simmons did…why not? It seems like a pretty easy job. I’m currently an accountant, so I can figure out salary cap numbers or if not, I can just try out trade on ESPN’s Trade Machine. I think everyone deserves a shot, maybe we should start a lottery system where everyone has a year to turn an NBA team around. Think about it, maybe you can use those ping pong balls that you use for the NBA Draft. Everyone deserves a chance to mess it up, right?

Bobby Roberts

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A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

My (Failed) Attempt To Get Bill Simmons To Write For "America’s White Boy"

I read on Deadspin that Bill Simmons would like to start up a website and become the underdog once again. He is currently under contract with ESPN, but this is something that he could possibly do once his contract ends. I am here to offer him a position here at America’s White Boy. Why spend the capital to start a new website when you have a fairly okay one right here. I have to admit, he probably has more perks at ESPN, even if he is rarely in Bristol, CT. Here is my failed attempt at luring Bill Simmons to write for us.

“America’s White Boy” isn’t the biggest sports blog on the internet, it’s only has a page rank of 4 on Google, but hey I won’t censor you. You can talk about basically anything, I’ll allow it. If you want to write a 540,000 word post about how Christina Hendricks’ boobs are better than Salma Hayek’s boobs, go ahead! You could even invite a porn star in your fantasy basketball league, although considering your possible bad blood with your soon-to-be former employer ESPN, you may have to use Yahoo for your league.

You probably won’t be able to land huge interviews for podcasts, I don’t have the bandwith for downloads. Although I will give you creative freedom to do some nice “Top 10” posts, I hear they do well on Digg and Reddit. Think about it…

As far as pay goes, you have enough money, right? “The Book Of Basketball” is going sell a few million copies and I’m sure you’ll end up as an NBA GM at some point. I know the Milwaukee gig didn’t work out, but once the Zombie Sonics GM quits, the job is all yours. Also, please disregard my post on about your possible General Manager position with an NBA team. It was meant as tongue-in-cheek, like your constant ribbing of Mike Dunleavy. If you get enough traffic, maybe I can get a pair of Columbus Crew tickets, ’cause I hear that you like soccer.

I have one condition of employment, you would have to move to Columbus, OH. I know, it could be a dealbreaker, but I have to know what my possible employers are doing. I do watch NFL games every weekend, but I doubt my 27-inch Sanyo television compares to Jimmy Kimmel’s set-up, but hey, free Raising Cane’s chicken fingers and White Castle to eat and all the Old Style that you can drink.

In closing, I am the definition of an underdog. I am an accountant during the day and I write for three websites at night. I would write if only one person would read my posts. Sure, I do get some advertising money, but I’ve used it to upgrade my laptop, buy my URL, and be able to attend a blogger conference this weekend. I write to explain my point of view and I hope to make a career out of it at some point. If it’s either here on this site or somewhere else, I love writing. I have been a sports fan since I was a little boy and my fondess memories were watching Chicago Cubs games with my dad. I know athletes aren’t perfect and most are barely role models, but there are times that I forget that and get lost in games that make me feel like a kid again. To modify a quote from “Almost Famous,”What Do I love about sports?….Everything.”

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A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Review – Chuck Klosterman "Eating The Dinosaur"

Thanks to the great people over at Scribner, I was able to get a review copy of the much-anticipated new book from Chuck Klosterman. I have been very vocal about my love for his writing on this site and “Walk The Dinosaur” definitely quenched my thirst for some new material from him. Here is my book review for “Eating The Dinosaur” by Chuck Klosterman.

This book is in the vein of “Sex, Drugs, & Cocoa Puffs,” more so than any of his previous books. It’s all new material, so it’s not like Chuck Klosterman IV, which was a collection of mostly previously published material. Continue reading

Louis C.K. Is A Funny Dude

I was listening to Bill Simmon’s podcast last week, “The B.S. Report,” and he had Patton Oswalt on and he was talking about funny comedians. He said that the funniest guy out there was Louis C.K. and I kind of agree. I ran a few posts concerning the best comedians out there and I have mentioned Brian Posehn and Mitch Fatel and I don’t know why I haven’t posted videos of Louis C.K. Here are some videos and why Louis C.K. is a funny dude.

Mr. C.K. was on the Tonight Show tonight with Megan Fox (wowzers!). He killed it and he is also in the upcoming movie, “The Invention Of Lying,” which stars Ricky Gervais. I see big things happening for him in the upcoming year and if you want to hear more of Louis C.K.’s stand-up, go out rent his stand-up special, “Chewed Up.” He is working on a new stand-up special, “Hilarious,” which may be out sometime this year. Here are some videos of some of Louis C.K.’s best work.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Idolizing – Chuck Klosterman (Again!)

About a year ago, I wrote a post in my “Idolizing” series about Chuck Klosterman. I was in awe of his first effort of writing a novel called “Downtown Owl.” I thought the book was great and I even bought an advanced copy on eBay for nearly 30 dollars a few months before it was released. The book didn’t sell a lot of copies, but he still feels like he accomplished something that he wanted to do. He has been on record that he had promised his publisher a few more essay books like “Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs” as a trade off that they would release one of his fiction works. Continue reading