Author Archives: Bobby Roberts

Song Of The Day – Above & Beyond (Can’t Sleep)

I know what you’re thinking, “It’s Mother’s Day, where is Boyz II Men’s “Song For Mama” at?” Well, I didn’t want to wuss up the page today.

Above & Beyond are a techno/trance group from London and their song “Can’t Sleep” always rings a bell with me. You may notice that I don’t really post from 9am-5pm like most sports/music blogs. I have an extreme case of the “I can’t sleep worth craps,” which doctors like to call insomnia. Sometimes I like to think that I live a double-life when I think I’m sleeping, a.k.a. Tyler Durden. I think I’ve watched Fight Club way too much. Note to self: I think I’m breaking the first rule of Fight Club by speaking out it.

When I have trouble sleeping, I apparently enjoy songs that deal with people who can’t sleep either.

Here is the song “Can’t Sleep (Original Mix)” by Above & Beyond.s

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Richie Sexson Gets UFC Try-Out

Richie Sexson is the tallest player in the majors and also the biggest target. After Felix Hernandez, the ace of the Seattle Mariners, plunked a couple players on the Texas Rangers, many expected some retaliation. Kason Gabbard was pitching for the Rangers when Sexson came up to bat. Gabbard’s pitch was very high in the zone and Sexson took offense to the pitch and charged the mound. He threw his helmet at Gabbard’s head and tackled him to the ground. Not much damage was done to anyone in the bench-clearing brawl, but Sexson received a 6-game suspension.

Kason Gabbard doesn’t seem like a very bright guy. If you look at the Mariners line-up there are plenty of guys much smaller and scary than Sexson. Jose Vidro and Adrian Beltre are both around six-feet tall and easier to throw a pitch that looks like a mistake. You cannot fool anyone if you throw the ball towards the head of a 6’8 baseball player. If you put Sexson and Gabbard in the octagon, Gabbard would be destroyed and possibly maimed. I do give him some dap, he definitely has his team’s back and balls the size of Texas.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Song Of The Day – Chromeo (Fancy Footwork)

Chromeo was featured as MTV’s band of the week in October of 2007. That means that there were many vignettes of them playing in-between commercial breaks. MTV is known for their lengthy and many commercial breaks, so they received a lot of exposure. Their style is electro meets keytar, which I can say they are pretty unique. I got their album in October, after seeing them repeatedly on said channel, and I was quite pleased. It’s one of those albums that you can’t sit around and play it and do something. When you play their album “Fancy Footwork” you will notice a lot of bobbing of your head.

Chromeo may never be the biggest band, but you will like them for what they are, an awesome duo.

Here’s the funny video for “Fancy Footwork.”

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Florida Marlins To Sign Toddlers, Still Contend

The Florida Marlins must have signed a deal with the devil. Their overall payroll is $22 million dollars, which is less than A-Rod or Manny Ramirez makes in a year. Their team is filled with kids under the age of 25 and still win more games than expected. They are currently in 1st place in the NL East, which was supposed to be a 3-way race among the Phillies, Mets, and Braves. They have so much talent that they kept their #1 prospect, Cameron Maybin, in the minors to mature, since they are already loaded with outfielders.

Hanley Ramirez is this team’s MVP and he will be the league MVP before his career is over. He’s the definition of a five-tool player with his power, speed, high batting average, defense, and a rocket arm. He was acquired in the Josh Beckett deal with the Boston Red Sox. Beckett helped the Sox win championships, but you would have to think that they didn’t know what they had. Ramirez will command a $200 million dollar contract when he is a free agent. He is the best hitting shortstop since Alex Rodriguez played the position.

Josh Willingham, Jeremy Hermida, and Alfredo Amezaga are the outfielders for the Marlins. Luis Gonzalez, who is their lone veteran position player, he platoons and is a positive influence on the young players. Maybin is waiting in the wings if one of the outfielders doesn’t produce, which will only make these guys play harder. Hermida and Willingham were highly-touted prospects, they have a lot of talent, but yet to stay healthy enough to play up to their potential. They have both played very well this year and look for them to have breakout seasons.The infield could possibly be one of the best offensive infields in the league. Jorge Cantu has been a surprise so far this year and if he continues to hit for power, will have over 30 home-runs. Dan Uggla, their second-basemen, has surprised everyone since 2006 and he is still producing. Mike Jacobs is my favorite in this group, he seems to have enough raw power to hit 40+ homers and could possibly draw a lot of prospects in a trade, behind Ramirez. If the Marlins can find an everyday catcher in their farm system, this Marlins team will be solid from top to bottom.

The Achilles’ heel of the Marlins would be their pitching. Scott Olsen and Mark Hendrickson have been pitching great, but is questionable if they can sustain this over an entire season. Andrew Miller, a piece they received in return in the Cabrera/Willis trade to Detroit, should gain some experience this season. They need him to work long enough into games that their bullpen doesn’t get tired out. Kevin Gregg, their closer, has experience in the role and should be solid over the stretch.We may only be a quarter into the season, but if the Marlins keep putting up runs, their pitching will have won’t be pressured and be relaxed. Florida always has a small-window for winning a championship, all of these prospects will command huge contacts and will only be around for a couple seasons.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Song Of The Day – Forever The Sickest Kids (Whoa Oh)

My friends Cheech and Shitgoose love Forever The Sickest Kids. I haven’t listened to them much, but I’ve heard a lot about them. Their EP was a huge hit among people who like the genre of pop punk, I would compare them to the band All Time Low, but with the use of electronic loops.

Forever The Sickest Kids just released their debut full-length album, “Underdog Alma Mater,” and I’m sure their record label are hoping they will help resurrect album sales. I saw an entire section at Hot Topic dedicated to their merchandise. They will be on Vans Warped Tour this summer, so make sure you see them now before they blow up and charge $50 a ticket.

Here’s the track “Whoa Oh (Me vs. Everyone)

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Okay, I Don’t Want To Live In Cleveland

I am retracting my story from earlier, you can CLICK HERE view my earlier story. I wanted to live in Cleveland, just for one day, so I could enjoy the 23 cent Papa John’s pizza. It turns out that everybody wanted some pizza yesterday. Some people stood in line over 5 hours for some pizza and in Euclid, OH, riots ensued and the police had to be called.

Papa John’s corporation sent out a memo to their franchises and said that the stores could close their doors once 900 pies were sold. It looks like that could end up being a short night for some stores.

I don’t think that I would wait in line for more than 30 minutes for even a free pizza. I do love Papa John’s pizza, but I’ve got better things to do, kind of.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

2008 Un-All-Star Team

We’re almost 40 games into the season and I’ve noticed that some big names are hitting below or hovering around .200 batting average. Some big names are off to some horrible starts this season. I have never seen a year like this before. You have your usual slow-starters (Robinson Cano) and you have your usually consistent players (Gary Sheffield) not serving their team very well.

I made up an UN-All-Star team, this team is made up of everyday players that are hitting below the Mendoza line of .200 or almost.

Infield
Rickie Weeks .195
Robinson Cano .157
Kenju Johjima .189
Ben Broussard .159
Johnny Estrada .179
Casey Blake .202
Ryan Howard .168

Outfield
Andruw Jones .158
Alfonso Soriano .177
Nick Swisher .196
Jose Guillen .165
Jim Edmunds .172
Michael Bourn .194

Designated Hitter (barely)
Gary Sheffield .176
Jose Vidro .192
Jim Thome .209
Jason Giambi .157

I can slightly understand why some position players can get off to a slow start, especially in cold weather, but designated hitters? David Ortiz would have joined this list, but he is now hitting .226, which is much better than a week ago.

Andruw Jones should spend some time on the bench. The Dodgers can’t let Juan Pierre sit on the pine if Jones isn’t going to hit. The Dodgers are already looking for ways to get out of his contract, they are thankful that Scott Boras didn’t talk them into a long-term deal. They should have known better, anyone could have seen this coming from his horrible performance last year.

Also, some honorable mentions to this list include Ken Griffy Jr, Adam Dunn, and Carlos Pena. These players are hitting over .200, but dangerously close. Those three guys will all probably hit at least 30 homers this season, but unless they heat up with the weather, I don’t see their averages being very good.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Song Of The Day – We The Kings (Check Yes Juliet)

America’s White Boy is an aficionado of the works of Shakespeare and any song with Juliet in the name will get some dap. Don’t hate, I had to take a course on Billy Shakespeare in college and after awhile I started to realize that the dude knew what he was talking about.

Anyways, We The Kings is a new band that is getting a lot of airplay for their new single “Check Yes Juliet.” They released a single in late 2007 called “Skyway Avenue,” but sadly it didn’t catch on. You can’t feel sorry for them, they are becoming successful with “Juliet.” They have opened for many pop-punk/emo bands in the past and will soon be headlining tours. You can see them this summer, they will be on every stop of the Van Warped Tour.

Check out the video for “Check Yes Juliet”

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Jon Kitna Counts To 10, Receives Cookie

Jon Kitna made a bold prediction last year by predicting 10 wins for the 2007 season. He didn’t do himself any favors by saying that his “expectations” are 10 wins this season. He later mentioned that every player should have those expectations, but sadly Kitna is the only one that seems to make the 10-win declarations. I think the only person that feels as strong as Kitna about their team is Joe “The Lions Are Decent” Pasquali, his picture is at the end of the article.

Kitna better worry more about keeping his job than counting wins this season. Since Mike Martz left to go to San Francisco, this offense will be in need of a more consistent, conservative quarterback. Jim Colletto is the Lions’ new offensive coordinator and he is known to run the ball, which is something Martz clearly didn’t know how to do. Kitna has some competition on the roster with Dan Orlovsky and Drew Stanton. He will likely share snaps in camp until a starter is named before the season.

Here is a picture of Joe, he looks as lost as Kitna does running the offense.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Sober Bob Huggins?

Bob Huggins signed an 11-year extension to stay as the head coach of West Virgina. He will be paid $1.5 million dollars a season, after only making around $800,000 in his first season as coach. When Huggins signed this contract, he could be signing his life away.

We all know that Huggins loves to have a good time. He was let go as the coach of Cincinnati for having a really fun night, but making the mistake of getting into a car and driving. He was caught drinking and driving and thus lost his job with the Bearcats. This extension reportedly has a clause that the university can get out of the contract for substance abuse or habitual intoxication that affects his job performance. Does Coach Huggins realize that this was in his contract?This clause sounds like something the university can excercise if the team under-performs. I hope this isn’t going to be a clause that will become the norm in contracts around the league.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Song Of The Day – Atmosphere (Shoulda Known)

I’ve been a fan of Atmosphere since “Trying To Find A Balance,” hit the airwaves a few years ago. I am not much of a fan of the entire genre of underground hip-hop, like Sage Francis, but Atmosphere is great. The lyrics of their songs are thought-provoking and he enunciates so well on the microphone. “You Can’t Imagine How Much Fun We’re Having” album has many single-worthy tracks on it, but only a couple were able to hit the airwaves. Their new album, “When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold,” is in the same boat, although the beats on the new album aren’t as solid as the previous one. That observation is moot, only because Atmosphere’s lyrics are so potent. You get lost in them and the beat doesn’t matter as much.

I think Atmosphere’s new album is more for true fans, but it is worth picking up.

Here is the video for their single “Shoulda Known.”

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Mike D’Antoni Loves His Mustache

The Knicks, Bulls, and Raptors (who currently have a head coach), are all giddy that the Phoenix Suns gave Mike D’Antoni permission to talk to other teams. The Chicago Bulls were the first to talk with with D’Antoni, but no word on any possible deal. The Knicks seem to be in love with Mark Jackson, so I don’t see him getting hired in the Big Apple. The only reason the Raptors are interested in him is because Bryan Colangelo, son of Phoenix sports mogul Jerry Colangelo, knows that D’Antoni’s style may work in Toronto. Colangelo recreated the Raptors into a high-tempo offense with a highly European roster. D’Antoni would have the Phoenix Suns of the East, also T.J. Ford looks a lot like Steve Nash running the offense.

I am not sold on Mike D’Antoni has a big-time head coach. I will admit that when he took over the position in Phoenix, he made that team actually watchable. I would keep it tuned to any game the Suns would play on television; I’m a sucker for offense. I would like to know if D’Antoni knows who to play defense in the NBA. He doesn’t seem to think that he needs to stop the other team, he will just outscore them, even if the score approaches 120 each night. That kind of style will wear a team down and by the time they reach the playoffs, they’re out of gas (Note the last three seasons).

The Chicago Bulls have set themselves up to build their team through defense. Most of the team have already had great coaches (Coach K, Roy Williams, Billy Donovan), so they have proven they are coachable. Ben Gordon is an offensive machine, but they will not keep him next year. I’m looking at the roster and unless they draft someone who can shoot the lights out or pull the trigger on a major trade, who will carry the offense for the Bulls? I don’t see Joakim Noah putting up 20 points like Amare Stoudemire, but Tyrus Thomas could mature into something comparable. This would be a stretch if D’Antoni goes to Chicago. They are in the Eastern Conference and Atlanta made the playoffs this season, anything can happen.Mike D’Antoni has been sporting a mustache since before the 24-second shot clock. You have to give props to a man who stays consistent.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.