2009 Un-All-Star Team

Last year, I did my 2008 Un-All-Star Team post in early May. A lot of my team ended up turning things around and a few of them actually ended up with career numbers. I wanted to do this year’s post a little deeper into the season. They are currently about 70 games in right now and some great players are looking like they need some extended spring training to regain their usually consistent form. About this time of year you can throw out the term “slow-starter” and begin using “bad year.”

Some of these players do have some power numbers, but I’m looking at average mostly. If you are still floating around the Mendoza Line and it’s almost July, you are having troubles. A few of these players have been trying to play through injuries (Alfonso Soriano), but his season isn’t living up to expectations.

Here is my list of the 2009 Un-All-Star Team sorted by position. The number next to the position players is their batting average as of today and the number next to the pitchers are their ERA.

Catchers
Kelly Shoppach .194
Dioner Navarro .218
Geovany Soto .222

First Base
Conor Jackson .182
Carlos Guillen .200
Chris Davis .200
Jason Giambi .212
Lance Berkman .241

Second Base
Alexi Casilla .180
Dan Uggla .216
Howie Kendrick .231
Kelly Johnson .227

Third Base
Garrett Atkins .205
Alex Rodriguez .212

Shortstop
Mike Aviles .183
Khalil Greene .213
Jimmy Rollins .223
Orlando Cabrera .235

Outfield
Ken Griffey Jr. .220
Grady Sizemore .223
Alfonso Soriano .229
B.J. Upton .229
Ryan Ludwick .234
Pat Burrell .236

Starting Pitchers
Chien-Ming Wang 12.30
Oliver Perez 9.97
Scott Kazmir 7.69
Fausto Carmona 7.42
Ricky Nolasco 7.15
Andy Sonnanstine 6.60
John Lackey 6.10
Francisco Lirano 5.91

Bullpen
Brad Lidge 7.27
Troy Percival 6.35
B.J. Ryan 5.71
Manny Corpas 5.40
J.J. Putz 5.22

If anyone has any recommendations for the 2009 Un-All-Star Team let me know.

I’m sorry if you found this post in hopes of trying to find shirtless photos of Grady Sizemore of any other of our players. It’s kind of a running joke on this blog, since it seems like I get a lot of hit from google from people trying to find shirtless photos from players from Grady Sizemore and Ryan Braun to the confusing duo of C.C. Sabathia and Prince Fielder.

Designated Hitter
David Ortiz .207

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

My Girlfriend Has A Blog!

After dating me for a year, my addiction to writing has finally infected someone else. She signed up for her blog a few months ago, but she really got motivated today and she write her first post. I am happy for her and would like for some people to go check it out.

She is in grad school at Ohio State studying pharmacy, she also has done biological studies at the University of Missori and University of Illinois. She’s a smart girl who knows her stuff. There are a lot of novelty items that are sold in pharmacies and she finds them intriguing. She will be writing about homeopathic remedies and high-calorie foods. It will be a good read for people who may think homeopathic medicines like “HeadOn” actually work…as well as a possibly what a 12-egg omelet challenge at a local greasy spoon would do to a person’s body.

Her blog is check it out!

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

A Cubs Fan’s Perspective: Sammy Sosa

I have been a Cubs fan for as long as I’ve been alive. I am 28 years old and some of the earliest memories involved my dad and I watching afternoon games on WGN. I remember Jody Davis, Leon Durham, Rick Sutcliffe, and Lee Smith all fighting the Chicago summer heat. The times were special and moments that I wouldn’t change at all. The teams were bad and most of the crowd didn’t care, and I didn’t care too much either. I was a little kid who idolized the players with dreams of one day playing professional baseball too. Those dreams never came true, but I am still a Cubs fan, although I am a little confused of how happy I am about that today.

I was in middle school when the Cubs traded George Bell to the White Sox for a young outfielder, Sammy Sosa. I liked Bell for the few seasons that he was with the Cubs, but I kind of understood that they needed to get younger. I didn’t know much about Sosa, other than owning a few of his rookie cards. My lone opinion was that he looked extremely happy. Almost immediately, the trade for Sosa started to pay off. He was stealing bases and hitting more homers than I expected. The first season, I thought that he may be a better version of Shawon Dunston, since he didn’t strike out as much, which didn’t say much.

The Cubs didn’t win many games the first few seasons that Sosa was around. I can still hear Harry Caray yell out Sosa’s name after he jacked a 400+ foot home-run. Those moments gave me joy, about as much as an actual Cubs victory. Sosa’s home-run total kept creeping up, but the whispers of the ball being juiced calmed my fears of anything fishy going on. It wasn’t until the summer of ’98 that the homers were getting out of hand. I have to admit, I still didn’t care. Mark McGwire was hitting just as many homers as Sosa and he looked noticeably huge. I didn’t suspect much about steroid use, the only thing that was written was something new to me called “Andro.” I read about it and saw that it wasn’t illegal. I didn’t think anything was wrong, but I wanted Sosa to beat him. I think most people wanted Sosa to beat McGwire, if not for the fact that he was more likeable.

Every time that Sosa took the field in the first inning, he would run out into right field like a perfectly choreographed play. Everything Sosa did was more of a show for the fans. After 9/11, he hit a homer and ran around the bases with a little American flag.

Sosa’s numbers stayed the same as McGwire began to breakdown. Sosa’s average took a hit, since he looked like he was wanting to knock it out of the park with every swing. Finally, his behavior the last year with the Cubs was too much for the club to handle. They dealt him to Baltimore for a few young players. Sosa’s career was never the same, mainly because the cloud of suspicion was too great. To this day he denies all claims of using PEDs, but the revelation of a failed test in 2003 makes it all clear. Sosa apparently cheated, it doesn’t surprise many, but I’m just confused.

I believe that a large number of players used some sort of performance-enhancing drug during the same period of Sosa’s career. I believe he wanted an edge and once he had a taste of success, he couldn’t leave it alone. If he didn’t do it for himself, he did it for the fans. As I said before, my first opinion of Sosa was his smile. He didn’t lose his smile until the end of his career. He didn’t have his smile when he was testifying in front of Congress. If Sosa’s number isn’t retired and he doesn’t make the Hall of Fame, Sosa may never smile again. A decision to forgive and forget has to be made at some point. Some purists still have a big problem with “Shoeless” Joe Jackson and the Black Sox. I say that we still need to decide on what kind of punishment would suit the crime.

My opinion is for the Baseball Writers of America to have a conference. Everyone should take sides and maybe come to a conclusion. I would like to see all the alleged steroid users, that have Hall of Fame numbers, be inducted in the same class. You would be able to put that on Pay-Per-View and it would have a high buyrate. I don’t think it’s right that they used PEDs, but enough is enough. I want to move past this. It may take the player’s union to allow blood testing, it would be a step in the right direction.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

A Possible New Home For Sweetbob

I just wanted to inform my readers that I have been offered a deal with a sports-blogging network to write for them. I would be covering the Indiana Pacers and Columbus Blue Jackets. I just wanted to let everyone know in advance. Though it will not change this blog at all, I will still keep it active. There will be two more ways of reading my material in the near future.

I will keep everyone up-to-date on the news once it become official.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

The Re-casting of "Major League"


Joe Sports Fan needed more questions for his podcast a few weeks ago and I thought that it would be fun to re-cast the movie “Major League” with current Major League baseball players. He thought it was a good idea and may touch on it in a future podcast. I started brainstorming ideas about who would play each character and thought it deserved its own post. Here is the player-by-player re-casting of the movie “Major League.” (I had to thrown in other sports figures for the female characters).

Jake Taylor – This character needs to be played by a catcher who is on his last legs, but is enjoying a nice season. I choose Jason Varitek since he seemed washed-up last year and it playing great this season. He is also the captain, which Taylor certainly was in “Major League.”

Rick Vaughn – I know what you’re thinking, he should be John Rocker. That would have been the answer about 7-8 years ago, but we need a current baseball player to play “Wild Thing.” I think Joba Chamberlain is a great fit to play Rick Vaughn. He was arrested for a DUI, so he has the sketchy criminal past. He is pretty wild on occassion, especially his celebratory fist pumps.

Roger Dorn – Dorn’s character has to be a guy who has made a lot of money during his career and is just out there for endorsements and maybe some road-tail. He has to play 3rd base, so I’m going with Alex Rodriguez, although A-Rod would probably be the one that would try and sleep with a player’s wife, not the other way around.

Willie “Mays” Hayes – My early vote would have gone to Torii Hunter, since Mays had a great glove and made a few nice catches in center. I couldn’t do it, ’cause Hunter is a 5-tool player and Hayes couldn’t hit well and possibly floated around in the minors awahile. I have to go with Joey Gathright since Mays would probably put up YouTube videos of himself jumping over things too. Gathright isn’t known for his bat, but if he hits grounders, I’m sure he could leg out a few infield singles.

Eddie Harris – Harris was the old-timer that used Vagisil, among other foreign substances, to get movement on the ball. He probably threw a 75mph fastball. This pick was easy, Jamie Moyer is the unanimous choice. He is in his later 40’s and hasn’t see 90 on the radar gun since he married Digger Phelps’ daughter.

Pedro Cerrano – Cerrano prayed to the voodoo gods to help him hit a curveball. He had crazy power, but he was a little crazy. Milton Bradley is the perfect player, although the voodoo religion ties are unfounded. I could see Bradley using bat-warmers and lighting gunpower to awake his bat.

Coach Lou Brown – Brown was a lifer coaching in the minors and came up to coach the Indians. I think he is a smarter coach than he portrayed in the movie. I assume that he was one of the first coaches to use VORP and BBIP to revise his daily line-up of characters. I’m going to throw a curveball here and say that Trey Hillman, the coach of the Kansas City Royals. Hillman coached all over before he was given the shot at the Royals. He is known as a smart guy and a little of a hardass.

Rachel Phelps – She was the ex-showgirl that received the Indians when the owner died. He wanted the team to tank so she could move the team to Miami. I thought long and hard about this and think that Monica Seles would fit the role of Phelps. Seles has been dating the owner of the Buffalo Sabres for awhile and think that she may be in it for the long haul. If he kicks the bucket, Seles could be in line to own a small-market sports franchise.

Lynn Wells – Wells was the character that ended up with Jake Taylor at the end. She clearly has a thing for baseball players, possibly a fetish. I would like Alyssa Milano to play the role of Lynn Wells. Milano has dated many players and she is a huge fan. This could also help the eye-candy factor for the movie.

Harry Doyle – Doyle was the play-by-play announcer for the Cleveland Indians. He was played by Bob Uecker and he did a fantastic job. I would like to see Uecker reprise his role, since he was still the play-by-play guy for the Milwaukee Brewers.

That was my re-casting of the movie “Major League.” It was the 20th anniversary of the movie’s release on Monday. The Cleveland Indians gaveaway a Rick Vaughn bobblehead and had Bob Uecker throw out the first pitch. The pitch was “just a bit outside.”

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Hedo Turkoglu: Prized Free-Agent?

Why is Hedo Turkoglu smiling? Well, he played his way into a possible new, huge contract. “The Jordan of Turkey” didn’t take very long to opt out of his contract and test free agency. Trevor Ariza and Turkoglu could be the two best free agents out there this year. They weren’t considered in the top 10 possible free-agents before the beginning of the year, Ariza wasn’t even in the top 30.

Turkoglu started out very slow this year, but turned it on in both the Boston series and in Cleveland. He could very well re-sign with Orlando for a major contract, a very smart choice, or could a pretender turn into a playoff team with the signing of Turkoglu? Here are some teams that could turn their fortunes around.

Indiana Pacers – This would be my personal choice, but I don’t think that the Pacers have a shot. Turkoglu’s old running mate, Peja Stojakovic did very poorly in Indiana and doesn’t have many pleasant memories of his time there. He does fit Larry Bird’s mold. He’s tall, can shoot the 3, and he’s white. I don’t think Lary Legend has a penchant for the European players, but he would look good next to Danny Granger.

Phoenix Suns – If the Suns trade Shaq for Ben Wallace and Pavlovic, they should offer Wallace a buyout, let him retire, and sign Turkoglu. He is a better shooter than Pavlovic and can spread the floor. I would love him in Phoenix.

Chicago Bulls – The Bulls will lose Ben Gordan and probably Hinrich soon. They need another shooter and Turkoglu can do everything those guys can, but he can start and play 40 minutes a game.

Oklahoma City Thunder – The Thunder could have a huge turnaround if they get Rubio in the draft. Turkoglu to go along with Durant and Westbrook would look like a possible playoff team in maybe two seasons. Would Turkoglu want to wait? OKC definitely has the cap room to afford a nice free agent.

New York Knicks – I don’t think the Knicks have the cap space to pull this off, but D’Antoni would like to add an experienced playoff veteran to his team. He would do well in the fast-paced system and he loves to shoot the ball. He could be the piece the Knicks need to make the playoffs.

Hedo Turkoglu should re-sign with the Magic. After his stint with Sacramento, he was a free agent and signed with San Antonio. He didn’t do very well there and got lost in the rotation. He needs to choose his next team wisely and not go after money, but try to find the team where he would fit in the best. On the right team, he could be the piece to put a team over and make a playoff run.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

What If: NBA Team In Columbus, OH

The rumors of many NBA teams having financial problems have been floating around for the last few months. The NBA borrowed tons of money to try and keep the league afloat during the economic depression that we are facing. I personally think that they could rid themselves of the WNBA and get companies to sponsor NBA jerseys and the league would be as stable as the NFL. Many of the teams that could be moving look towards cities with a new NHL stadium as an easy fix. Columbus, Ohio has a great NHL stadium and was even in the conversation when the Sonics were moved to Oklahoma City (sorry Bill Simmons). What would happen if a team would move to Columbus, Ohio?

First I wonder what they would name the team. I think when the city of Columbus was given an NHL team, they had to scrape the bottom of the barrel to get “Blue Jackets.” I can’t think of a logical team name right away. I would think that the term “Buckeyes” would work, but The Ohio State would like that very much. Here are a few names that I would like, but probably never get past the first brainstorming meeting.

– Columbus Hop (named after the Gallery Hop)
– Columbus Not Buckeyes
– Columbus Construction (see High Street)
– Columbus Twitter (first ever NBA team named after a company)
– Columbus Capitols

There are really no great names for a team here, but I do think that they should have a company buy the team’s name. Unfortunately for Columbus, Nationwide Insurance, Ohio Health, and Huntington Bank are three major players in town and none of them sound like a good team name.

I can’t see an NBA team flourishing here in Columbus. It has taken the city 10 years to really get behind the Blue Jackets. It took one season of making the playoffs for it to happen, but this city loves a winner. They kind of turn their backs on teams that don’t win, the people here are used to Ohio State winning football games.

Columbus is too close to Cleveland and with Lebron still there, I don’t see the Cleveland fanbase in Columbus jumping ship. Columbus would have to get a phenom in the first 2 or 3 drafts in order to stay here.

I do agree that Columbus is a great short-term fix for an NBA team that is struggling (New Orleans, Memphis, Milwaukee), but Kansas City would be more of a longer-term city to maintain an NBA franchise. I went to KC last month and walked by the new Sprint Center. It looks like a mix between a UFO and a diamond. I would like to throw out a name for a Kansas City….The KC Masterpieces. You like?

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Random YouTube Artist – Tommy Knox

I am always looking around YouTube trying to find funny things, but sometimes I run across some pretty decent musicians that are trying to get their music out to the masses. Tommy Knox is a musician from the Chicago-area that has put his music out on myspace and YouTube. I have actually liked Tommy Knox for about a year. He does some decent acoustic music via a webcam. He does covers of popular pop songs as well as rap/r&b. He also has original music that he has made videos for as well.

Here are links to his

Myspace and YouTube pages.

A cover of Kings of Leon’s “Use Somebody”

A cover of Flo Rida’s “Low”

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

I Don’t Care About Alabama

Alabama football is a religion in the Southeast, but I am not a follower. They were as big as USC, Florida, and Notre Dame just a few seasons ago. They did have a great season last year, but it was made into a joke by getting trounced by Utah in the bowl game. The NCAA ruled that they have to vacate 21 wins from 2005-2007, which shouldn’t mean much to their overall record. Alabama wasn’t exactly lighting up the scoreboard those seasons.

Alabama is in the middle of a textbook scandal, not a “textbook scandal” as in they executed the perfect scandal, but actually a scandal with textbooks. The students that were on full scholarship were able to just sign up for textbooks and get them from the bookstore. The athletes were found guilty of signing up for books for their friends and selling them. This has to be the lamest NCAA infraction in the history of college athletics.

I would think that ‘Bama would be caught in the middle of a Krispy Kreme scandal, more than a textbook variety.

Yeah, Andre Smith looks horrible.

The NCAA ruling will not interfere with the current students, since Alabama will not lose any scholarships or be banned from television. I like the ruling, but I don’t really see how this is really hurting Alabama at all.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Must Have: Threadless T-Shirts

I got an email today from some people who is promoting Threadless tees. I am all about promoting items that I have either purchase and use or find interesting. Plus a post about them could help land a free one (either L or XL please). They have tons of great shirts on the site. They create t-shirts from user-created art and sell them on the site. I wanted to share with you guys a shirt that may enjoy…..especially those that follow me on Twitter @Sweetbob. Follow me!

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

ESPN’s "Outside The Lines" Ibanez Video

I had a post earlier today about Jerod Morris at Midwest Sports Fans. I thought that I would embed the video of his appearance. If you actually read his article and then watch the video, you can question Ken Rosenthal and the reporter from the Philadelphia Inquirer if they have even read his article.

At points in the interview, Rosenthal rolls his eyes. I believe he may have just read the Inquirer’s article and not the source, which would have been at Midwest Sports Fans site.

Check it out and gather your own opinion.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

It’s Been Awhile- Pt. 4

I took a little hiatus from the world of sports/music blogging. I started a new job, been spending time with my girlfriend, and I was just exhausted. I missed the blog and think that I need to update more. I have recently been accepted as a contributor at
Gunaxin and I hope that I will be a great addition there. I will still update this blog often, just Gunaxin will be a place to feed my hunger of writing.

I just want to list some things that I have learned since I’ve been gone. Just to catch everyone up on what has been confusing and amusing me.

For those wondering why I have a picture of Blake Lively up, well, I don’t have many times where I can post a picture of a pretty gal, so I took this chance. I hope you’re a little happier now.

– I love Green Day’s new album, but I kind of wish they wouldn’t to a concept album next time.

– I found out that “Frisky Dingo” will not be coming back, since the studio went under.

– Manchester Orchestra’s new album has been in rotation constantly in my head.

– I have came to a conclusion that the Chicago Cubs will not win the World Series this year.

– I cannot remember a season as boring as this past year’s NCAA Basketball season.

– I would like to become more of a soccer fan.

– My love for Podcasts has grown. I listen to Dan Patrick, Baseball America, Fantasy Focus, and The B.S. Report religiously….Adam Carolla’s podcast has jumped the shark.

– I have become addicted to Twitter. Follow me @ Twitter.com/Sweetbob.

– I hate to admit it, but I do go to PerezHilton.com almost daily.

– I hope the Indiana Pacers pick Eric Maynor and not Gerald Henderson.

– I still think Adam Morrison can have a 10-year career in the NBA.

– I saw the Tim Floyd scandal coming, the guy has always looked like a guy who was one day away from getting fired. He was a desperate man.

– My passion bucket is always full.

– My fantasy baseball teams this year are horrible. I blame Geovany Soto, lack of Pedroia’s power, and B.J. Upton.

– Mike Brown will be fired as the coach of the Cavaliers by the end of June.

– Notre Dame will probably go 10-2 this year, the 2 losses will be to USC and whomever they play in a bowl game.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.