Joe Sports Fan needed more questions for his podcast a few weeks ago and I thought that it would be fun to re-cast the movie “Major League” with current Major League baseball players. He thought it was a good idea and may touch on it in a future podcast. I started brainstorming ideas about who would play each character and thought it deserved its own post. Here is the player-by-player re-casting of the movie “Major League.” (I had to thrown in other sports figures for the female characters).
Jake Taylor – This character needs to be played by a catcher who is on his last legs, but is enjoying a nice season. I choose Jason Varitek since he seemed washed-up last year and it playing great this season. He is also the captain, which Taylor certainly was in “Major League.”
Rick Vaughn – I know what you’re thinking, he should be John Rocker. That would have been the answer about 7-8 years ago, but we need a current baseball player to play “Wild Thing.” I think Joba Chamberlain is a great fit to play Rick Vaughn. He was arrested for a DUI, so he has the sketchy criminal past. He is pretty wild on occassion, especially his celebratory fist pumps.
Roger Dorn – Dorn’s character has to be a guy who has made a lot of money during his career and is just out there for endorsements and maybe some road-tail. He has to play 3rd base, so I’m going with Alex Rodriguez, although A-Rod would probably be the one that would try and sleep with a player’s wife, not the other way around.
Willie “Mays” Hayes – My early vote would have gone to Torii Hunter, since Mays had a great glove and made a few nice catches in center. I couldn’t do it, ’cause Hunter is a 5-tool player and Hayes couldn’t hit well and possibly floated around in the minors awahile. I have to go with Joey Gathright since Mays would probably put up YouTube videos of himself jumping over things too. Gathright isn’t known for his bat, but if he hits grounders, I’m sure he could leg out a few infield singles.
Eddie Harris – Harris was the old-timer that used Vagisil, among other foreign substances, to get movement on the ball. He probably threw a 75mph fastball. This pick was easy, Jamie Moyer is the unanimous choice. He is in his later 40’s and hasn’t see 90 on the radar gun since he married Digger Phelps’ daughter.
Pedro Cerrano – Cerrano prayed to the voodoo gods to help him hit a curveball. He had crazy power, but he was a little crazy. Milton Bradley is the perfect player, although the voodoo religion ties are unfounded. I could see Bradley using bat-warmers and lighting gunpower to awake his bat.
Coach Lou Brown – Brown was a lifer coaching in the minors and came up to coach the Indians. I think he is a smarter coach than he portrayed in the movie. I assume that he was one of the first coaches to use VORP and BBIP to revise his daily line-up of characters. I’m going to throw a curveball here and say that Trey Hillman, the coach of the Kansas City Royals. Hillman coached all over before he was given the shot at the Royals. He is known as a smart guy and a little of a hardass.
Rachel Phelps – She was the ex-showgirl that received the Indians when the owner died. He wanted the team to tank so she could move the team to Miami. I thought long and hard about this and think that Monica Seles would fit the role of Phelps. Seles has been dating the owner of the Buffalo Sabres for awhile and think that she may be in it for the long haul. If he kicks the bucket, Seles could be in line to own a small-market sports franchise.
Lynn Wells – Wells was the character that ended up with Jake Taylor at the end. She clearly has a thing for baseball players, possibly a fetish. I would like Alyssa Milano to play the role of Lynn Wells. Milano has dated many players and she is a huge fan. This could also help the eye-candy factor for the movie.
Harry Doyle – Doyle was the play-by-play announcer for the Cleveland Indians. He was played by Bob Uecker and he did a fantastic job. I would like to see Uecker reprise his role, since he was still the play-by-play guy for the Milwaukee Brewers.
That was my re-casting of the movie “Major League.” It was the 20th anniversary of the movie’s release on Monday. The Cleveland Indians gaveaway a Rick Vaughn bobblehead and had Bob Uecker throw out the first pitch. The pitch was “just a bit outside.”