Category Archives: sports

Orlando Makes A Bad Trade, Sends Dwight Howard to L.A.

Dwight Howard trade rumors have been on the stove for the last 18 months. It was only a matter of time before the big man would whine his way out of Orlando.

Orlando finally orchestrated a four-team trade in which Dwight Howard would be paired with Kobe Bryant and Steve Nash on the Los Angeles Lakers. If he even hints that he doesn’t want this move to garner ‘Shaq to Los Angeles’ comparisons, he is delusional. He is duplicating the same career path as him. I hope this doesn’t mean a sequel to “Kazaam” is in the works.

Which teams are in the deal? The players involved may surprise you (one of the players is currently playing on Team USA). The other thing that may surprise you is the lack of assets Orlando will receive in return for Howard. This deal will leave you scratching your head to why they didn’t trade with Brooklyn or Houston, who had better prospects on hand.

Let’s make it easy and list which players will go to each team involved in the trade.

Los Angeles Lakers: C Dwight Howard, F Earl Clark and G Chris Duhon

Philadelphia 76ers: C Andrew Bynum and G Jason Richardson

Denver Nuggets: F Andre Iguodala

finally…

Orlando Magic: F Arron Afflalo, F Al Harrington, C Nikola Vucevic, F Moe Harkless, and future protected first-round draft picks from each team. (2014 from Denver, 2015 from Philly and 2017 from L.A.)

I like the hauls that Philadelphia, Denver and L.A. received in this deal. They sent distant future protected first-round picks for pieces to help them immediately…but Orlando’s return is mild. I can see Howard signing an extension with the Lakers. Kobe and Nash will be retired in a few seasons and it will be his team.

Orlando’s main goal was the get Howard out of town. Former GM Otis Smith should have pulled the trigger at the trade deadline, but they didn’t, so they had to settle for this deal.

You know what you’re getting from Afflalo and Harrington, solid guys, but nothing to build a team around. Harkless was the first-round pick in this year’s NBA Draft. He’s a nice young talent who needs a lot of molding. The biggest problem I have is that the draft picks Orlando will receive in this deal is so far out in the future that current GM Rob Hennigan may not be around to enjoy them.

I hope Orlando has a plan to sell a ton of Glen ‘Big Baby’ Davis merchandise. I don’t see the Amway Arena selling out, even with a J.J. Redick bobblehead promotion. Orlando has a very long road to recovery in their future. You will see Mr. Hennigan at the NBA Draft Lottery selection show for the many years to come.

The Magic play in L.A. on Dec. 2nd and D’WHINE Howard will be back in Orlando on March 12th…please circle those dates accordingly.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Seattle Seahawks sign Terrell Owens

The Seattle Seahawks signed veteran wide receiver, and fledgling reality television star, Terrell Owens to a one-year deal Monday night. Owens last played for the Cincinnati Bengals in 2010, but his season was cut short due to a knee injury. He has played in the NFL for San Francisco, Philadelphia, Dallas, Buffalo and Cincinnati…and most recently, the Allen Wranglers of the Indoor Football League.

Seattle recently released WR Mike Williams and are in need of a big target. Doug Baldwin, Deon Butler, Golden Tate, Sidney Rice, Ben Obomanu, Braylon Edwards, and Antonio Bryant are all in camp battling for wide receiver positions. Baldwin, Tate, Butler, and Rice are locks for a roster spot, but they need a veteran to anchor that group. Edwards, Owens, and Bryant are attractive options, but all three have off-the-field issues. Edwards failed in San Francisco last season and Bryant hasn’t played a game in the NFL since 2009.

Owens ran a 4.5 40-yard time and is in great shape for a 38-year old. He can still produce in the NFL if he can keep his nose clean and stay away from Dr. Phil. He has a great shot at making the team and we hope to see him resurrect his career.

Terrell Owens’ career stats are 1,078 receptions, 15,934 receiving yards and 153 touchdowns over 15 NFL seasons. He is the only player to score a touchdown against all 32 NFL teams.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Tim Tebow Heckled By Own Fans, Looks Bad At Camp

Tim Tebow can’t escape being criticized, even by his own team’s fans watching training camp. If you have ever watched the NFL Draft, I guess hearing a few boos from New York Jets fans shouldn’t be surprising.

Tebow is the most polarizing player in the NFL and everyone has an opinion if he can be effective as the starting quarterback for the Jets. He had a bad practice today and he didn’t change anyone’s mind positively. He paraded around without his shirt at the end of practice, hopefully to distract everyone from his play…it didn’t work.

He wasn’t the only quarterback to look bad. Mark Sanchez had his own blunders in the poor weather. Interceptions and fumbles could be the overall theme in the Jets training camp this year.

Tim Tebow’s honeymoon period with the New York media appears to be over. Is the Jets’ blind optimism about their quarterbacks warranted?

Tebow took 12 snaps with the second team today. He went 3 for 8 and took a ‘sack’ after running around the field trying to avoid defenders. The hecklers started to let him have it during that play. His own fans were yelling, “Throw the ball” and “This is why you’re number two!” There is a group of Jets’ fans who believe Sanchez is their future and have disliked Tebow from Day 1. Sanchez did lead them to back-to-back AFC Championship appearances, but smart fans could say that he benefited from a staunch defense.

Tebow and Sanchez are in a quarterback competition manufactured by the media. You haven’t heard anything from head coach Rex Ryan about a competition. Conjecture can make a mess of an already bad situation.

Tony Sparano is the Jets new offensive coordinator. He is best known for implementing the Wildcat offense when he was the head coach of the Miami Dolphins. Jets linebacker Bart Scott believes the Jets will have an advantage with Tebow in a similar package. It is a risky gamble, since teams figured out the Wildcat by the next season after it began.

The Jets have the most pressure of any team in the NFL…and they didn’t even make the playoffs a year ago. The Giants won the Super Bowl last season and coach Ryan could be on the hot seat if the team starts the season poorly. They will find it difficult to share a stadium with the world champions.

If the quarterbacks’ poor play becomes the norm, expect Tebow AND Sanchez to use the ‘shirtless’ distraction on a daily basis.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

U.S. Swimmer Dana Vollmer Sets World Record

The United States added to their medal count today and did it with swagger.

U.S. Swimmer Dana Vollmer set a new world record in the 100-meter butterfly at the 2012 Olympics in London. She didn’t even qualify for the event in 2008 for the games in Beijing.

Her time was 55.98 seconds, beating the 56.06 time set by Sweden’s Sarah Sjostrom during the 2009 World Championships. Sjostrom competed in this year’s event, but did not medal.

Lu Ying of China won the silver medal and Alicia Coutts of Australia took home the bronze.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

"Call Me Lochte" Ryan Lochte-Michael Phelps Parody [VIDEO]

Ryan Lochte beat Michael Phelps in the 400-Meter Individual Medley and surprised most of the U.S. since casual swimming fans didn’t know how great Lochte has become.

Lochte and Phelps only took the silver medal this afternoon in the 400-Meter Freestyle Relay, so I hope this funny parody video of Carley Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe” cheers you up.

“Call Me Lochte” is an entertaining parody and I hope you enjoy it.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Sports Crush (Olympics Edition): Jen Kessy & April Ross

We already know who Missy May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh-Jennings are, but U.S. Women’s Beach Volleyball has two new members that everyone should know. Jennifer Kessy and April Ross will be household names by the end of the 2012 Olympics.

The duo barely missed making the 2008 Olympics, but went on to win the 2009 World Championships.

Beach volleyball fans already know them and they are expected to do very well in the 2012 Olympics. I hope they win a medal, because ABC needs new women athletes to invite to participate in ‘Dancing with the Stars’.

After the Olympics, they could have hyphens after their names real soon, just like May and Walsh…Jen Kessy-Roberts sounds nice.

Here is a photo gallery of the Kessy/Ross beach volleyball duo. Continue reading →

Black Lips Pay Homage to Iconic Baseball Mascot [VIDEO]

Chief Noc-A-Homa was the super racist mascot for the Atlanta Braves from the 1950s until 1986. He was beloved by fans and best known for emerging from a tepee in the bleachers to rally the hometown crowd.

Black Lips is a band from Atlanta and wanted to pay homage to the former mascot. “Noc-A-Homa” is their song about the former Braves mascot. The video depicts a present-day Chief Noc-A-Homa who has fallen down on his luck. He enacts his revenge for being humiliated for years. Continue reading →

Sports Crush: ESPN’s Samantha Steele

ESPN’s College Gameday will have a new face this fall. Samantha Steele-Ponder will be called up to the Majors and take the spot vacated by Erin Andrews, who recently left to join Fox Sports.

Steele has been working at the Longhorn Network and worked sideline duty at various college football and basketball games for ESPN.

With the departure of Michelle Beadle and Andrews, she will most likely be the new female face of ESPN along with Charissa Thompson and Sara Walsh.

We fill you in on Steele’s background and attach a mini photo gallery to help you get to know her a little better.

Steele-Ponder, 26, is a graduate of Liberty University and her father is a football coach. She worked for Fox Sports Net and Fox College Sports before landing a job at the Longhorn Network.

She will be hosting the pre-Gameday show on ESPNU at 9am, helping at the College Gameday broadcast on ESPN, and take over sideline reporting duties during the Thursday and Saturday night football games. She will be thrust into the spotlight and college boys will surely be giving her the same rude catcalls they yelled at Andrews for years.

She’s the perfect addition to the broadcasts. She’s professional, extremely likable, and cute as a button.

Here is an ESPN podcast that introduces Steele as the new addition to College Gameday.

If you wish to follow her on Twitter, she can be found @SamSteelePonder. We wish Miss Steele the best of luck this fall.

Steele married Christian Ponder during the 2012 NFL season. He is a very lucky guy!

Here are a few pictures of Samantha Ponder on the job.

(photo credits: Samantha Steele-Ponder, Getty Images, and ESPN)

Jeremy LinRON: The Smartest Guy In The Room

The New York Knicks made everyone anxiously wait for their decision on Jeremy Lin. I haven’t seen so many will they/won’t they moments since Ross and Rachel sucked the life out of “Friends”.

New York finally made their decision and opted not to match the offer sheet that Jeremy Lin signed with the Houston Rockets.

Lin, 23, will receive $25.1 million over three years, a price the Knicks couldn’t see as the correct value for the point guard phenom.

Houston was sneaky and their offer sheet included a back-loaded contract that would have paid Lin $14.8 million in the third year of the contract. The Knicks would have been over the luxury tax and cost them nearly $43 million in salary + “repeat offender” luxury tax.

Lin came out yesterday and said that he would have loved to finish his career as a member of the New York Knicks. It’s the politically correct thing to say, but it was sincere. Lin was a borderline NBA player before he found himself in New York.

Jeremy Lin didn’t need his Harvard education to know that signing Houston’s offer sheet was the smartest decision he could make. No one can blame Lin for signing it. He had a very exciting six-week run last year before injuring his knee. He had a few moments of vulnerability, most notably a 1-11 shooting night against the Miami Heat. A $25 million dollar offer might not be there in a few seasons.

Carmelo Anthony’s comments earlier this week about Lin’s offer sheet being a ‘ridiculous’ amount of money didn’t help the situation. Lin had most of his success when Anthony was injured and one would have to believe that jealousy could have lead to that comment. If Lin had stayed, he would have taken away from Anthony’s spotlight.

The Knicks wouldn’t have been able to pay him near the $8 million annually that Houston will pay him. His marketability will be hurt by not staying in New York, but Yao Ming did very well as a member of the Rockets.

Goran Dragic and Kyle Lowy already out of town. The core players on the team are very young. Royce White, Terrence Jones, and Jeremy Lamb will be contributing right away as rookies (if they aren’t moved in an escalated attempt to sign Dwight Howard…ugh).

The Rockets will be Lin’s team. I look forward to watching them in 2012-13…they will be a lot of fun.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Dez Bryant Arrested After Slapping His Mother

After the parade of arrests that plagued this NFL offseason, Dez Bryant finds himself as the Grand Marshall.

The Dallas Cowboys wide receiver was arrested on Monday on charges of misdemeanor domestic violence from an incident that occurred last Saturday. He turned himself in and was released on $1,500 bail.

The local police says that Bryant allegedly “slapped his mother across the face and pulled her hair.” Bryant’s mother says that she had pain and swelling from the assault.

Should the NFL step in and discipline Bryant or should the Dallas Cowboys do the right thing and take care of their own players? Is this the last straw or does Bryant deserve and third or fourth chance?

Let’s paint a clear picture of what kind of off-seasons Bryant has had since his rookie season.

He was first arrested in a Dallas area mall for using inappropriate language and wearing saggy pants.

Aside from stealing something, do you realize how hard it is to get arrested at a mall? I’ve done some pretty insane things in malls as a youth and I’ve never been arrested. I had a security guard chase me around for something my friend had done, but Paul Blart’s stunt double couldn’t catch us.

Bryant then found himself in handcuffs again in January when he had an alleged altercation at a Miami Beach nightclub. He was detained, but never charged with a crime.

Both of these incidents seem minor in the shadow of his recent altercation.

Dallas needs to realize that they need to do something to control Bryant before his actions get even more out of control. If he can slap his own mother, he could easily find himself in a Pacman Jones-like situation. A bad temper is a magnet for trouble.

Deion Sanders used to be Bryant’s mentor, but since the mall incident, the two haven’t kept in touch. He needs another figure who has been in his shoes and can lead him away from causing trouble and build him up. I agree with Dan Graziano from ESPN Dallas, who wrote a post about how the Cowboys need to help him, not dump him.

I do believe that Dallas should suspend him for a few games and police themselves. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell will step in and punish him if the Cowboys don’t punish Bryant and/or not punish him enough.

This is bigger than football. The man is lost. No one should ever strike their mother. I hope he finds his way before he finds himself in jail for something even worse.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Are the Marlins Shopping Giancarlo Stanton?

The MLB trade rumor mill is in full force. Every beat writer conjures up a scenario in which every player could be traded. I think the current trade market is filled with every player in the MLB not named Bryce Harper or Andrew McCutchen.

Giancarlo Stanton found his name on the trading block thanks to ESPN’s Buster Olney (ESPN Insider needed).

The Miami Marlins opened up a beautiful new stadium this season, but currently find themselves at 43-36. They are nine games out in the NL East and six games out of the a Wild Card spot. Things aren’t dire, but they would need to leapfrog many teams to make the playoffs.

Who else is on the trading block on the Marlins? Could another Florida team also be sellers at the trading deadline?

Olney goes on to say that Omar Infante and Josh Johnson could also find themselves on the trading block if the Marlins stumble after the All-Star break.

Stanton is currently on the disabled list with an injured knee. He will be out about a month, so trading him by July 31st could be difficult or nearly impossible. He would be their best trade piece if they decide to completely rebuild, but I believe that Stanton is their franchise player to build around. He is hitting .284 with 19 homers and 50 RBI…on pace for a monster season.

The Marlins had plenty of prospects come through Miami and fizzle out. Dan Uggla, Jeremy Hermida, Josh Willingham, and Mike Jacobs didn’t do a whole lot for the franchise. They currently have Gabby Sanchez, Hanley Ramirez, Anibal Sanchez, and Logan Morrison not living up to their hype. Stanton destroyed the minors and he keeps improving. He’s not a guy you want to give up on.

Johnson has about $20 million left on his contract through the rest of this season and the 2013 season. It is a fair price for a #1 starter, if he can stay healthy. They would get a nice haul for him, especially if he’s traded to a contender with a stocked farm system. The Pittsburgh Pirates, Texas Rangers, or Detroit Tigers would be ideal trade partners, since they have an abundance of top-tier prospects to trade.

Second base is a very shallow position in MLB. Major offensive production from the position is rare these days. Infante is the current prototypical second baseman. He bats around .275 with low double-digit power and steals. He would be a nice stopgap for a team who has no current answer at second. He’s an excellent defensive player with a .989 and .981 fielding percentage the last two seasons.

I contacted Tom Green, the associate reporter for MLB.com who covers the Miami Marlins, about Miami’s trade rumors. He calms Marlins fans down by saying he “doesn’t see them selling Giancarlo or J.J.”

Heath Bell, Carlos Zambrano, and even newly-acquired Carlos Lee could also find themselves bring shopped at the deadline. Bell is having a disastrous season so far and with Juan Carlos Oviedo (formerly Leo Nunez) coming back from suspension, could find himself booted permanently from the closer role.

At the end of Olney’s blog post, he also mentions that if the Tampa Bay Rays keep sliding, they could also start to reload their team.

It’s hard to pinpoint the players who have a lot of trade value, but Kyle Farnsworth, Jeff Keppinger, and Luke Scott seem like players who are expendable. They wouldn’t get a huge haul, but with the need for bullpen help, Farnsworth would get the most in return.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Houston’s Latest Insane Trade Proposal for Dwight Howard

Houston Rockets general manager Daryl Morey is slowly going insane.

He has been trying to acquire Orlando Magic center Dwight Howard for months. The amount of trades he has offered/completed in order to gain pieces to entice the Magic would make any man snap.

It doesn’t make Morey’s job any easier when Howard publicly announces that he would only sign an extension with the Brooklyn Nets.

Well, ESPN reported that Morey is about to propose the Magic an offer they can’t refuse. How much can Houston afford to offer a team for a player who has no intentions on staying more than one season?

Want to know what Morey is offering? Check it out after the jump…

The rumored offer is so lopsided and ridiculous that it is hard to believe that a GM would ever offer this deal.

Orlando Magic would receive: Kevin Martin, Patrick Patterson, Marcus Morris, Chandler Parsons, Jeremy Lamb, Royce White, Terrence Jones, and at least two future first-round & second-round draft picks, AND Toronto’s 2013 first-round pick (potential lottery pick).

Houston Rockets would receive: Dwight Howard, Jason Richardson, Glen Davis, Chris Duhon, and Hedu Turkoglu.

Let that offer sink in for a few seconds.

…WHAT THE HELL, DARYL?!

Houston would be sending the Magic a top-of-the-rotation guy (Martin), their last two draft classes, and their next few drafts will be worthless without first-round picks.

What’s sad is that I really like what the Rockets did in this year’s NBA draft. Lamb, White, and Jones are NBA-ready and could all be rotation guys in their rookie season. They would be throwing it away for a shot at convincing Howard that Houston is where he belongs.

Houston would just receive Howard, who may only stay one season, and a bunch of deadweight contracts. The Magic will have a clean slate to rebuild the team in the post-Howard era.

I have a feeling that Morey was a nerd in high school. He probably had a crush on the head cheerleader (Dwight Howard). He would stay at home and think up scenarios in which she would agree to go on a date with him. He finally put together the absolute perfect plan in which he would ask her out and there would be no chance she would say no. The plan would consist of Morey riding to school in a carriage with white horses. He would be dressed in a tuxedo with tails and have a dozen roses ready to give to her (trade entire team for Howard). He would ride in front of the entire school, gives her the roses and ask her out…she would say ‘yes’ (Dwight agrees to play one season with Houston). They would go out on a date, it goes alright, and he would drop her off at home at the end of the date. He would assume that a second date is right around the corner and his life is perfect (Howard contract extension).

Well, Morey wasn’t aware that the entire school was laughing at him when pulled up in a horse-driven carriage (every NBA GM & fans). The head cheerleader said yes because she didn’t want to seem like a bitch. Also, after their date, the captain of the football team was in her driveway waiting to sneak up to her room (Brooklyn Nets).

This is a move that can and will get a general manager fired. If this deal goes through and Howard doesn’t sign an extension, he will be responsible for two separate GMs losing their jobs (Orlando’s former GM Otis Smith was fired after the season).

Everyone knows that Morey is a smart guy. He speaks at the Sloan Conference at MIT every year about using advanced metrics in sports. He is helping to pave the way by relying on new statistics to build a professional basketball team…but, I don’t see how he could argue that this trade is logical by using statistics to back it up. “Dork Elivs” is getting a little too cute and maybe the eyeball test is all someone needs to know that this is a horrible deal.

I feel sorry for Rockets fans. You have a GM who clearly has a gambling problem and he’s playing with your money. This would truly be a ‘Dwightmare’ for Houston.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.