Author Archives: Bobby Roberts

The White Boy Mock NFL Draft – 2008 Edition

I am going to do my best Mel Kiper impersonation, but I will not replicate the hairstyle, that thing is pretty brutal. I’m more of a fan of Todd McShay than Kiper Jr. anyways. McShay has been going toe-to-toe with him for a couple months now. If Matt Ryan goes #3 to Atlanta, look for McShay to punch Kiper Jr. straight in the mug.

Before I start, I will like to state the two moments when Mel Kiper Jr. was extremely wrong. He never talks about them, ‘cause he would lose nearly all credibility. They both involve the Colts picks. The Colts picked Marshall Faulk over Trent Dilfer and Kiper Jr. blew a fuse on camera. An executive actually went on air and said that he didn’t care at all what Kiper Jr. thought about their pick. The next incident happened a few years later when the Colts selected Peyton Manning over Ryan Leaf. Kiper Jr. didn’t think it was the right choice for the team, even though I just saw an ESPN commercial that stated that Manning was Kiper Jr.’s #1 rated QB that year….I smell bullshit, son.

Here is my first round mock draft.

1. Miami – Jake Long, OT, Michigan
2. St. Louis – Glen Dorsey, DT, LSU
3. Atlanta – Matt Ryan, QB, Boston College
4. Oakland – Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas
5. Kansas City – Vernon Gholston, DE/LB, Ohio State
6. New York Jets – Chris Long, DE, Virginia
7. New England – Sedrick Ellis, DT, USC
8. Baltimore – Ryan Clady, OT, Boise State
9. Cincinnati – D. Rodgers-Cromartie, Tennessee State
10. New Orleans – Aqib Talib, DB, Kansas
11. Buffalo – Jeff Otah, OT, Pittsburgh
12. Denver – Limas Sweed, WR, Texas
13. Carolina – Rashard Mendenhall, RB, Illinois
14. Chicago – Justin King, DB, Penn State
15. Detroit – Sam Baker, OT, USC
16. Arizona – Derrick Harvey, DE, Florida State
17. Kansas City – Leodis McKelvin, CB, Troy
18. Houston – DeSean Jackson, WR/KR, California
19. Philadelphia – Malcolm Kelly, WR, Oklahoma
20. Tampa Bay – Devin Thomas, WR, Michigan State
21. Washington – Antoine Cason, CB, Arizona
22. Dallas – Felix Jones, RB, Arkansas
23. Pittsburgh – James Hardy, WR, Indiana
24. Tennessee – Jerod Mayo, LB, Tennessee
25. Seattle – Chris Williams, OT, Vanderbilt
26. Jacksonville – Mike Jenkins, CB, South Florida
27. San Diego – Keith Rivers, OLB, USC
28. Dallas – Branden Albert, OG/OT, Virginia
29. San Francisco – Brian Brohm, QB, Louisville
30. Green Bay – Calais Campbell, DE, Miami
31. New York Giants – Dan Connor, LB, Penn State

There are still a few guys out there that I wasn’t sure where to put them, ‘cause their need isn’t there. I would have really liked to put Fred Davis, Early Doucet, Dustin Keller, or Brandon Flowers at the end of the first round, but I wasn’t sure if there was a need for their positions.

My argument about my own mock draft is that I don’t think Oakland should pick McFadden. Justin Fargas and Michael Bush should do a great job in their backfield. A pick of Ryan Clady would make a lot of sense, since their O-Line is pretty weak. They could end up trading McFadden to a team for help in other areas or future draft picks. I think Jerry Jones would love to get him, who knows what kind of package he will throw at Al Davis if the Raiders pick McFadden. Also, I think the Chiefs could pick Chris Long with the #4 pick, but I think they need a solid pass rusher since they just traded Allen yesterday for some draft picks. Vernon Gholston would be a better fit to start right away, he did smoke Jake Long in last year’s OSU/Michigan game a few times.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Song Of The Day – Justin Nozuka (After Tonight)

I hate to admit it, but I watch VH1 sometimes late at night. It is a pretty bad choice, but sometimes it is the only channel that is showing something new at 4am, which is usually a couple hour block of music videos. I was up pretty late a few nights ago and a “You Ought To Know” artist video was about to come on and it was Justin Nozuka’s “After Tonight.” I sat there during the whole video and I really liked what I watched/viewed.

From what I know about the guy, he’s 18 and sounds a lot like Jack Johnson/Matt Costa. I think he should sell quite a few albums since the chill/acoustic/surfer jam music has been doing well the last couple years. I think everyone should check out this song and make an opinion for yourself…or just trust mine and say you like him, that would work.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Indiana Time

Hey Everyone, I’m going to be in Indiana for a couple days, so I don’t know how much I will be able to post. (Parents have a 56k connection, yikes!)

While I am gone, please remember to wrap it up, son.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Happy 4-20 Day

I just wanted to wish a Happy 4-20 Day to everyone that enjoys the illegal plant. I would like to wish a special 4-20 Day for Ricky Williams and Michael Vick. They should be on the Mount Rushmore of pro athletes would smoke the ganja. Sadly Mr. Vick or Inmate 34534546, cannot participate in this year’s festivities. I guess Ricky can’t either since he is getting drug screened everyday in-between his Cocoa Puffs and Lunch. Well, maybe next year guys, keep up hope.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Song Of The Day – Flobots (Handlebars)

A friend of mine messaged me a few months about this band called the “Flobots.” She just went to a concert and she was all pumped that she got to see them. With me being a person that thrives on his music knowledge, I never heard of them and I was intrigued. She sent me a song off of their album called “Handlebars.” I have to admit that I didn’t give the Flobots much dap when I first listened to them. They were just “okay” to me, but the song kept creeping into my playlist and I started to really like it.

With this newfound enjoyment of “Flobots,” I started finding out more and more about the band. They were recently signed to a major label, which is good news for you guys ’cause you will be hearing more from them in the near future.

What is their sound, you ask? I would say that it is a mix between Atmosphere and Cake. I only say Cake ’cause the lead singer’s voice sounds like John McCrea’s, but they have a violin and trumpet in the band. The Atmosphere comparison comes from his lyrics. He spits them out very angry in some songs, but it doesn’t overpower you enough that you would be turned off.

Check out Flobots – “Handlebars”

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Rockies/Padres Game Will Never End

Okay, I may be stretching it a bit, but the Rockies/Padres game lasted 22 innings. The game lasted over 6 hours and I bet these guys are dreading the game tomorrow. Petco Park, the home of the San Diego Padres, is just a huge place to play. If you get two teams with good pitching, you are setting yourself up for games like this. Each team had over 70 at-bats, but only around eleven hits each. I have Todd Helton on my fantasy team and he alone killed my batting average for the day since he was 1 for 9. The starting pitchers tomorrow will have to nearly go the distance if these teams want to make it through the next few games. This was the last game of the series and Colorado has to travel to start a series with Houston tomorrow.

Jake Peavy pitched a marvelous game, which is to be expected, but it wasn’t good enough. The sluggish Padres offense killed him once again. If Peavy wants to end his career with 300 wins, he will need to go to a team that puts up more than 2 or 3 runs a game.

This game ended on a RBI double by Troy Tulowitzki. Hopefully this will catapult him out of his sluggish start and get the Rockies back to their winning ways. If the Rockies don’t start winning games, they will once again need an amazing finish to the season to make the post-season, since the Diamondbacks look to already be in mid-season form.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Song Of The Day – Von Iva (La La)

Von Iva is an all-girl new-wave/dance band from San Francisco, CA. The only reason that I heard of this group is the fact that they played a dump in Fort Wayne, IN called “The Brass Rail.” “The Rail” as it’s called, is a place where degenerates and “ligkids” call home. I call these people degenerates out of love, ’cause most of my friends go there often. Anyways, there is a local station that played the song “La La” on the radio every once in awhile. This all had taken place about 2 years ago, but the other day I turned on the radio station here in Columbus, OH and “La La” is on the radio here now. Von Iva is getting bigger and amassing a large fanbase. I think the song is pretty catchy and the ladies, who have a Bettie Page feel to them, are nice to look at.

I don’t know if they are on a label now, but I am guessing that some sort of label, indie or major, have courted them by now. I’m sure wherever you’re at, you will eventually hear this song on your local radio station.

Here is the video for “La La.”

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

The Midwest Is The Most Sexually Satisfied

Men’s Health magazine just came out with a survey that may surprise you. They polled to find out what city in America is the most sexually satisfied. Indianapolis, Indiana came in #1, with Columbus, Ohio #2, and Fort Wayne, Indiana in at #3. You know this makes America’s White Boy feel good, really good. As you may know, I’m an Indiana boy. I lived in Fort Wayne for a few years and I recently moved to Columbus, OH. I have been searching for reasons why this was a good move and I think Men’s Health helped me justify my move.

Men’s Health has been brutal towards Fort Wayne in the past and the results in this poll is surprising for that reason. They named Fort Wayne the “Fattest City,” due to the amount of fast food restaurants per capita and also the “Dumbest City,” for the amount of jobs that do not require a college degree. I can agree with the “Fattest City” part, not against my Fort Wayne ladies, but there are a few out there that would consider to be on the chubby end of the pie chart.

Columbus can thank me later for my migration to this wonderful city, I’m sure it made being #2 possible. Columbus is used to be being #2, Ohio State in men’s basketball and football, at least a Florida city wasn’t #1.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Barack Obama Can Ball

I may have seen something that has the most racial stereotypes per minute. I just watched HBO’s “Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel and they had a piece on Barack Obama and his love of basketball. I can wait for next week when Gumbel covers Obama’s love of ribs and chicken. I don’t understand the direction of this piece at all. They apparently filmed it a week before Obama’s gutter-filled bowling experience. Gumbel even uses the phrase “Obama’s jones for basketball,” is he trying out for the And1 basketball tour?

You need to watch this clip from the show. Apparently when Obama was a high school student in Hawaii, kids called him “Barry The Bomber,” since he had a sweet jumper.

Being “America’s White Boy,” I was very uncomfortable for a good portion of the clip. I think they are trying to paint Obama as a black man who has similar interests as other black men in America, even if he speaks more eloquently than Mr. Feeny from “Boy Meets World.”Here is Part 1 of the Barack Obama “I can play basketball too” clip. Part 2 is also on YouTube if anyone is interested.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Song Of The Day – The Classic Crime (Seattle)

The Classic Crime is a band that is signed on Tooth and Nail Records. I know this is at least the second band in the past month that we’ve featured on Tooth and Nail, we just think they have excellent taste.

The Classic Crime have a full-length LP and an acoustic EP released so far in their young career. The song “Seattle” is off of the acoustic EP. They are touring with Aiden this spring and then they are doing most of the Warped Tour this summer. Make sure to check them out on tour, I’m sure their sophomore LP will make them into household names.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Mike Jacobs Is The New Chris Shelton

The Florida Marlins have been waiting patiently for Mike Jacobs to turn into the power-hitter they thought he would become. When Jacobs was a rookie with the Mets, he was brought up at the end of the year and hit the cover off the ball. Jacobs has hit 6 home-runs so far this season and the everyone in the Marlins clubhouse is happy. ESPN could have ended the happiness with an article that ran today. Jayson Stark. a poor-man’s Peter Gammons, reported that a very knowledgeable scout said that Jacobs is this year’s Chris Shelton. For those who don’t remember Shelton, he hit 9 home-runs in the fist 13 games of the season for the Tigers a few seasons ago. Not only did Shelton’s power come to a screeching hault, but he found himself in the minors by the end of July.I don’t think Stark thinks that Jacobs will end up in the minors this season, just Jacobs has an upper-cut swing that has a huge hole in it. He doesn’t think his power will last an entire season. My question is that if Richie Sexton and Adam Dunn can hit 40 home-runs in a season with an upper-cut swing, why can’t Jacobs do it? I’ve seen worse swings in my time. I don’t think Jacobs will hit 40 dingers, but I think he will have a decent year on a not-so-good team.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Song Of The Day – Mayday Parade (When I Get Home You’re So Dead)

Mayday Parade has been touring non-stop over the last 2 years. If you like the pop-punk/emo genre, chances are this band has opened up for one of your favorite bands. They have been in Columbus at least 5 times over the past year. I have yet to see them and I regret it since tickets aren’t exactly going to break the bank.

I was a big fan of their EP and that’s how I first heard of them. They have released their debut full-length album about a year ago and they were also featured on the “Punk Goes Acoustic 2” compilation. Fearless Records, their record label, has been smart with all of the bands on their roster. They get them out there touring and feature them on their popular “Punk Goes” compilation series. Sugarcult and Plain White T’s are two bands that went on to do great things after signing with Fearless.

Check out the song “When I Get Home You’re So Dead”

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.