(Fake) NBA Player "Walk-Up" Songs

I was watching the L.A. Lakers vs. Denver Nuggets playoff game last night. At the end of the game, just like any other basketball game, there were a lot of free throws. After a player is fouled, there is a minute lull in-between the foul and the free throw attempt. What if each individual NBA player had their own personal “walk-up song,” like in baseball? I tweeted this out and many agreed that this needs to happen. I instantly started to think of either humorous or fitting walk-up songs for random NBA players. You have to follow basketball pretty close to get all of the references. Most of the walk-up song references are very easy to get, but a few of them are a bit obscure.

If you have any questions, please leave a comment or email me. Enjoy!

*I included a YouTube link that will open in a new window*

Kris Humphries – Ben Folds Five – “Song For The Dumped”
Serge Ibaka – Matt & Kim – “Block After Block”
Kevin Love – Bon Iver – “Skinny Love”
Lebron James – Motion City Soundtrack – “Can’t Finish What You Started”
Delonte West – Cypress Hill – “Insane In The Membrane”
Gordon Hayward – “Olive Garden Jingle”
Kevin Durant – Childish Gambino – “Backpackers”
Chris Bosh – Mandy Moore – “Cry”
Lamar Odom – Sam Cooke – “That’s It, I Quit, I’m Movin’ On”
Josh McRoberts – Haystak – “Whiteboy”
Blake Griffin – Van Halen – “Jump”
Steve Nash – Tenacious D – “Rize of the Fenix”
Michael Beasley – Kid Cudi – “Marijuana”
Drew Gooden – “Ducktales Theme Song”
J.J. Redick – Collective Soul – “Gel”
Metta World Peace – Pretty Boy – “Throw Bows”
Glen Davis – Justin Bieber – “Baby”
Amare Stoudemire – Orgy – “Stitches”
Gilbert Arenas – M.I.A. – “Paper Planes”
Brian Scalabrine – Average White Band – “Pick Up The Pieces”
DeMarus Cousins – Gnarls Barkley “Crazy”
Dwight Howard – Say Anything – “I Want To Know Your Plans”
John Wall – Troop 41 – “Do The John Wall”
Ricky Rubio – El Chombo – “Chacarron Mocaron”
Patty Mills – Men at Work – “Land Down Under”
Anthony Davis – Rise Against – “Savior”
Kyrie Irving – Nelly – “Number One”
Joe Johnson – Fitz & The Tantrums – “Moneygrabber”
Derrick Rose – Blink-182 – “Miss You”
Greg Oden – Social Distortion – “Bad Luck”
Tyson Chandler – Silverstein – “Defend You”
Tony Parker – Joey + Rory – “Cheater, Cheater”
Tyler Hansbrough – Snoop Dogg – “Tha Shiznit”
Dirk Nowitzki – Rammstein – “Der Meister”
Matt Bonner – Perv One – “Counting Money”
Josh Howard – “Star Spangled Banner”
Boris Diaw – Kanye West – “New Workout Plan”
Shaun Livingston – Sleigh Bells – “Comeback Kid”
Kenyon Martin – Trina – “Single Again”
Chris Anderson – Nelly Furtado “I’m Like A Bird”
Earl Boykins – Skee-Lo – “I Wish”
Brad Miller – Nsync – “Bye Bye Bye”
Eddy Curry – Weird Al Yankovic – “Fat”
Jeremy Lin – No Use For A Name – “Fairytale of New York”

Also, check out Projectshanks.com for some of my other work.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Sweetbob’s Fantasy F/M/K – May 7th

It has been over a month since you’ve had your fantasy baseball draft. If you are like me, you have given your players ever chance to succeed. This is the time of year that teams start to make roster moves and you should do the same. You probably feel dumb for drafting Carlos Marmol…so make up for it by picking up someone better! This is the first of many weekly columns to help you win your fantasy leagues.

Welcome to “Sweetbob’s Fantasy F*ck, Marry, Kill”… Continue reading →

MLB 2012: Grading Early May Transactions

The first month of the season is in the books and teams are starting to find out what kind of team they have. General Managers start to clean house and cut some the dead weight on their rosters. They start to bring up their top prospects, since they stalled to keep them from becoming Super 2 eligible. When they bring up a player from the Minors, they have to make a roster move, which usually means that either a veteran is put on waivers or a younger player can be sent down.

Veterans are starting to be smart when they sign a minor-league contract in the off-season. They have started to put an opt-out clause that if they are not on the Major League roster by May1st, they can opt-out of their deal. Not all of the players have this clause, but it’s becoming more common.

Which deal deserves an A+ grade? Is bringing up 21-year old Jordan Lyles too early? We grade this past week’s MLB transactions.
Houston Astros called up RHP Jordan Lyles
In 2011, then 20-year old Lyles started 15 games for the Astros. They tried to keep his innings down and finished the season in the bullpen. Houston is in rebuilding mode and he’s the best pitching prospect in their farm system. He has been working on his curveball in the off-season and he will test in against MLB hitters. I like this move because the Astros have nothing to lose. They aren’t playing for a pennant, they are trying to build a team and Lyles needs experience. – Grade: A

Tampa Bay Rays signed OF/DH Hideki Matsui to a minor-league contract
Matsui played in Oakland last season and mostly played DH. He started out poorly, but he had an above average second-half of the season. I don’t see him playing the outfield in Tampa Bay, so he is an insurance policy for Luke Scott. Matsui would come in handy if Zobrist or Joyce had injury issues. I like this signing because the risk is low and he could be a piece that you need during the playoff push. – Grade: B+

Oakland Athletics signed 3B Brandon Inge to a one-year contract
Since 2009, Inge hasn’t had a very good year at the plate. He benefits a team as a utility player and that’s about it. He moved all around the field for Detroit, he even played catcher.When the Tigers moved Miguel Cabrera to third-base, Inge had to know that his time was up. Eric Sogard is batting .140, which is lower than Inge, so he will actually be an offensive improvement at that position. – Grade: C+

San Diego Padres called up RHP Jeff Suppan
The Padres needed a starting pitcher to pitch in place of Cory Luebke. They didn’t expect much from this move because he might only start a few games. In his first start, he gave them five solid innings and probably earned him a second or third start to see what’s left in Suppan’s arm. – Grade: C

Cleveland Indians called up OF/DH Johnny Damon
Damon was one of those veterans with the May 1st opt-out clause. Cleveland has a surplus of outfield talent with Shin-Soo Choo, Shelly Duncan, Michael Brantley, and a few on their minor-league team, the Columbus Clippers. Damon had an excellent 2011 season with Tampa Bay and he could be very useful. If Cleveland sees themselves out of the AL Central race at the trading deadline, he could be a trade chip. In the meantime, I liked this move in the off-season and I still like it. – Grade: A-

Cincinnati Reds signed RHP Michael Wuertz
Wuertz had a few good seasons, but shoulder and finger issues derailed his pitching career. He had an astronomical ERA in 2011(6.68 in 39 appearances). This move is another low risk/high reward, but his upside isn’t very high. – Grade: D+

Boston Red Sox called up RHP Aaron Cook
Cook had already said that he was ready to opt-out, but Boston waited until the last second and called him up. Josh Beckett has a lat injury and they needed a starting pitcher. I’m not sure how long he’ll hold on to a roster spot. It all depends on how his first start goes and if he shows them that he has something left in his arm. – Grade: C

Los Angeles Dodgers signed OF Bobby Abreu to a one-year contract
Abreu has always been a slow starter. He has a sub-par batting average in April and May. The Dodgers picked him up at a discount and will use him to rest Matt Kemp, Andre Either, or Juan Rivera/Tony Gwynn platoon. On days that he’s not in the field, I expect that Don Mattingly will use him at a pinch-hitter. I love this move and it’s all reward for the Dodgers. – Grade: A

Texas Rangers traded Cleveland Indians for OF Ryan Spilborghs in exchange for cash
I don’t get this trade, other than the GMs were bored. Texas has an excess of outfielders and/or guys that could occupy left field (Mitch Moreland). The Rangers must be collecting assets in hopes of trading for either bullpen depth or a fifth starter at the trading deadline. – Grade: D-

There was a potpourri of deals made this week. A few of them could make a big difference, but it’s too early in the season to know. Cleveland’s GM will have a busy year. Their Triple-A team in Columbus has won the Triple-A Championship the past two years and it is fulled with trade chips. Stay tuned and play ball!

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

How ‘Mad Men’ Made Me Hate January Jones

I have been wanting to write this post for a long time. I thought about it a few weeks ago, but I needed a kick in the pants to write this article. I needed to contribute to a site that I’m writing for, ProjectShanks.com, and thought that this would be the perfect way to start. A person’s first post on a new website should have pretty girls in it, right?

I feel like I’m getting ready to break up with a girlfriend who banged all of my friends, recorded it, and made me watch it. How do you get everything off of your chest at once? By the way, I think I dated a girl that would do that. She was pretty evil, but we’ll save that for another fun post.

This post is about the AMC show, ‘Mad Men.’ Is it bad that I let a television show annoy me this much? Continue reading →

10 Reasons: Why Indiana Pacers Can Win NBA Title

The Indiana Pacers didn’t have a nationally televised game this season. At one point this season, they had the NBA’s lowest attendance numbers in the league. Yes, even the Charlotte Bobcats were beating them in attendance for most of the season. Indiana surprised everyone this year and took a leap from last year’s #8 seed to this year’s #3 seed in the playoffs.

NBA analysts have been divided on whether the Pacers benefited from this year’s schedule or if they are legit. Indiana is full of young players who are still peaking, so they are a bit unpredictable. They started off the season on fire, but suffered a mid-season slump. After acquiring Leandro Barbosa, they went 18-9 and finished the season 42-24. Can the Pacers be consistent enough to win a series against the Miami Heat? How does Indiana match-up against the best teams in the West?

1. Roy Hibbert is a defensive nightmare for the Miami Heat. Hibbert is one of the most improved players in the NBA. He hasn’t put up get offensive numbers in the playoffs, but he can block any guards that drive in the lane. There aren’t many legit big men in the playoffs and the ones that are left (Joakim Noah, Andrew Bynum, Marc Gasol), he has had big games against in the past. Joel Anthony isn’t an offensive threat, but Hibbert is more physical and will be able to score.

2. Paul George is turning into an elite defender. George came into the league with a big question mark. He had all of the tools to be a great player in the league, but no one knew if he would develop into one. He was good at a lot of things, but not great. He didn’t have a position out of college, much like Evan Turner. He has improved his game at every level and could be the Pacers’ franchise player very soon. In the past, Indiana has relied on Dahntay Jones to defend the team’s best scorer. He has done well, but he is an offensive liability. He takes too many bad shots and he has a quick trigger. George was top-10 in steals, steal %, and steals per game. He would guard Kobe Bryant, Kevin Durant, and Dwayne Wade with Danny Granger sharing the duty.

3. Danny Granger is a consistent scorer. I couldn’t say this at the beginning of the season, but he finished the season on a hot streak. He raised his points per game to 18.7 and finished the season shooting 38% from behind the arc. He doesn’t have the pressure to be the team’s leading scorer, since George, Hibbert, and David West could all easily have 20-point games. I have confidence in him taking the final shot and cemented his place as the team leader.

4. David West is fully-healed from his knee surgery. Before the All-Star break, West wasn’t playing maximum minutes and Tyler Hansbrough would often finish the games at power-forward. West is turning into a 20-10 guy and help the Pacers go 18-9 down the stretch. He is the enforcer in the paint, much like Kendrick Perkins was during the Boston Celtics title run. Teams are scared to go in the paint with West and Hibbert occupying it.

5. George Hill is a better starting point-guard than Darren Collison. When Collison went down with an injury a month ago, Hill stepped in and the team went on a seven-game winning streak. The team is much better on the fast break than in the half-court and Hill is a better scoring threat on the break. Hill only averages 1.0 turnovers per game, Collison improved his turnovers per game to 1.9, but Hill is better with the ball. Pacers’ fans are now happy that they traded their first-round draft pick (that turned into Kawhi Leonard) to the Spurs for Hill.

6. Indiana’s bench is one of the deepest teams in the league. At the trading deadline, the Pacers traded a second-round draft pick to Toronto for Leandro Barbosa. They needed a bench scorer and he has delivered. Hansbrough, Barbosa, Collison, Louis Amundson, Jones, and Lance Stephenson are an exciting second unit. Hansbrough and Amundson are motor guys that always fight for the ball and Jones can deliver perimeter defense. They will have an advantage when the opposing team rests their starters.

7. Indiana has the confidence that they can beat any team. As in #8 seed in last year’s playoffs, they made the Chicago Bulls fight for every win. They weren’t supposed to make that series close, but Derrick Rose had to give 100% to win that series. They have beat most of the teams in the playoffs and have only had a few games this season that were out of reach early. The team is peaking at the right time in the season.

8. The Pacers are an excellent road team. They had a winning road record (19-14) and even averaged more points per game away from home (95.5). If they slip up at home, like they did against the Magic in Game 1, they can make it up on the road. I know that it is tougher to win on the road in the playoffs, but like I said before, their confidence is at a season-high.

9. Derrick Rose’s unfortunate injury opens up the Eastern Conference race. Indiana has to play their way through Miami to face where Chicago would be, but they match-up well again the top part of the Eastern Conference playoff bracket. Miami will be their toughest challenge in the East, so if they make it to the Conference finals, they will be favored. They will have a difficult match-up against the Western Conference winner, but it won’t be as lopsided as experts would predict.

10. A playoff match-up against Indiana will be a “trap series” for the Heat. Miami has only one goal, to win the NBA Championship. Their season would be a disappointment if they fall short of their goal. No matter who the Heat face in the second-round, Magic or Pacers, their focus will be past their opponent. A team will be able to sneak a couple wins against them throughout the playoffs, so that extra win could sway the series. I’m excited to see Indiana play Miami, since the entire country will be rooting for them to knockout Lebron and his “South Beach talents.”

No matter how far the Pacers make it in the playoffs, this season will be considered a success. They are a young team and are expected to make the playoffs many times in the near future.

I just hope that this is the year that Indiana hangs their first banner as a member of the NBA.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

2012 MLB: What We’ve Learned in April

The baseball season is only a month old and fans are already making instant judgments about their teams. They are either booking tickets for possible World Series games or looking ahead to 2013. You have already witnessed “Red Sox Nation” call for the head of their brand new manager after a small sample size of the season. No one can say that baseball fans aren’t passionate about their teams.

Baseball fans and analysts had some questions going into the 2012 season. How would Albert Pujols and Prince Fielder fare in the American League? Can the Red Sox bounce back from their late-season collapse in 2011? Is this the year that the Pittsburgh Pirates and Kansas City Royals finally make the playoffs? I do my best to explain what we have learned so far this season and what to keep your eye on in May.

April is such an odd month because you can’t trust your team’s record or the players’ statistics. It is rare that a team ever leads their division from April to October. My favorite reaction is when a player gets a home run in the first game, you’ll always hear, “he’s on pace to hit 162 homers this season.” It is one of my pet peeves and I’m sure that I’ll hear it every year.

Here are some things that we have learned in April…

– Matt Kemp is really good. You already should have known that, but some analysts that he couldn’t match his stats from 2011. They are partially correct since he’s on pace to blow those numbers out of the water and contend for the triple crown.

– Stephen Strasburg is fully recovered from last season’s Tommy John surgery. He currently has a K/9 of 9.56, which means that he averages over nine strikeouts per nine innings. He may have had a higher K/9 at this point during his rookie season, but he should have increased velocity by June.

– This is not the year for the Royals or Pirates. These teams are stocked with young talent, but they are off to bad starts. In 2011, Pittsburgh was contending for the NL Central division at the trade deadline, but hit a wall and lost most of their remaining games. The Royals are 6-16 and the Pirates are fairing a little better at 10-13. A lot of people thought that the NL Central would be a coin flip this season, but the St. Louis Cardinals are off to a hot start and the rest of the division isn’t as bad as predicted.

– Bobby Valentine might survive the season. After the first two weeks, the fans wanted him out of Boston. The Red Sox have played well since and currently have a 11-12 record. It’s not great, as long as they stay within five games of first place, Valentine will stay out of the hot seat.

– Bryce Harper is a future star. He has only played a couple of games in the Majors, but everyone has seen flashes of what Haper will be in a few years. He has a good bat and a cannon for an arm. I’m excited to see what he does the rest of the season, even if the Washington Nationals send him back to Triple-A for awhile.

– Yu Darvish could end up being the best signing in the off-season. I am skeptical of pitchers coming from Japan and adjusting to Major League hitters. Dice-K started off hot, but the second time a team faced him, they started to figure him out. The Texas Rangers have a powerful offense, so he doesn’t need to be perfect to win games. As long as his ERA hovers around 4.00, he’ll win double-digit games by July. He already has four wins, so he’s on pace to have an excellent rookie campaign.

– The Cardinals might be a better team this year than in 2011. They lost Albert Pujols, but they added Carlos Beltran and they are getting more out of David Freese. Adding Lance Lynn to their starting rotation was a smart move. Chris Carpenter will probably miss the season and Adam Wainwright doesn’t look like himself. Pitching could be an issue later in the season, but they are currently 15-8.

– It’s impossible to hit homers at Wrigley Field in April. When the temperature hovers around 50 degrees, the ball dies in the outfield. The wind is usually blowing in and teams can’t drive the ball over the ivy. The Chicago Cubs only had nine home runs in April. They are at the bottom of the league and it’s bad when individual guys are leading your entire time.

– Bryan LaHair is not a 4-A player. The Cubs made a bold move this off-season and declared that LaHair would get a fair shot at being their everyday first-basemen. They traded for Anthony Rizzo this off-season and most assumed that LaHair would be keeping first-base warm. He is currently 2nd in many offensive categories behind Matt Kemp. He’s batting nearly .400 and slugging almost .800, so he has earned his spot in the starting lineup.

– When the Cubs trade Matt Garza, they will get a lot in return. He is currently 2-1, 2.76 ERA, and a K:B ratio 3.6. MLB added an extra wild-card spot in the playoffs this season. The commissioner did a Cubs a huge favor, since more teams will still be in the playoff race. The price for pitching will be at a premium and the price will be driven up. Detroit, Boston, and Los Angeles need pitching and they’ll have to give Chicago a king’s ransom to get Garza.

– Moving the walls in at Citi Field hasn’t solved the Mets offensive issues. The team has hit 18 home runs this season, but only 7 of those came at home. Lucas Duda is leading the team with four dingers and David Wright has regained his All-Star form, but the rest of the team needs to step up. Ike Davis is batting lower than the Mendoza line and isn’t looking like a future All-Star.

– Albert Pujols is still adjusting to the American League. He has yet to hit a home run and he’s not drawing as many walks. I don’t believe that he’s stressed out or that his skills are diminishing. It is difficult for a player to go from the National League to the American League. He is still adjusting to AL pitchers and to a new city. He’ll have a much better May and you’ll start to see his numbers multiply as it gets warmer.

– Terms like “Grady Sizemore shirtless” and “Tim Lincecum shirtless” still brings me thousands of hits a month. I thought that the Sizemore search queries would taper off, but it hasn’t happened. I am looking forward to weird Google searches that involve Bryce Harper, Evan Longoria, and Matt Kemp…it’s only a matter of time.

– The Yankees should have hired Don Mattingly as their manager. I’m not saying that Joe Girardi is a bad manager, but Mattingly has personally improved Kemp, James Loney, and Andre Ethier. I watched an interview during Spring Training about what he has done to help each of them. He seemed to be a better developmental manager and would work well with the new crop of Yankees that are bound to play over the next few seasons.

– Jake Peavy and Johan Santana are pitching like it’s 2008. The White Sox are looking very smart by signing Peavy. His career looked to be nearing its end, but he’s had his best month in a few season. Santana is also out to a great start because his pitches look alive. Peavy and Santana are great stories and I hope they continue to dominate.

– Philadelphia Phillies are really missing Ryan Howard and Chase Utley. They are Philly’s best two hitters and they have struggled this year. It doesn’t matter if you have the league’s best starting rotation, you need to score runs. It doesn’t help that Jimmy Rollins is off to a bad start. The NL East will be one of the most competitive races this year. Washington and Atlanta are legit contenders and this could turn into a two team race if the Phillies can’t manufacture more offense.

– The Tigers aren’t a lock to win the AL Central. On paper, Detroit is the best team…by far. They started off hot, but they are currently 12-11. Their starting rotation has been a mess with Max Scherzer, Rick Porcello, and Adam Wilk all having an ERA over 5.50. Miguel Cabrera and Austin Jackson have been most of the team’s offense. Prince Fielder is a second-half player, so he’ll help carry the team down the stretch.

April was an exciting beginning to the 2012 season. I can’t wait for what transpires in May and to see which teams prove their worth. You’ll start to see the hitters catch up with the pitchers in May. Players who haven’t found power this season (Pujols, Alfonso Soriano, Nelson Cruz), expect them to bounce back next month.

The following pictures are a treat to my female readers. You have all be very kind to this site and here’s a little eye candy for you. (The first photo is the funniest picture that I’ve seen in a long, long time)

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Amar’e Stoudemire Hates Fire Extinguishers

When an athlete is able to play at the highest level in their sport, it can be hard to lose. You are used to dominating at every level, then you hit a wall and can’t seem to get over the hill. Players deal with their frustration differently. You can hit the gym, talk it over with teammates, or forget it and move on. If it was only that easy for a certain member of the New York Knicks. A moment of frustration could end the season for Amar’e Stoudemire or Amare Stoudemire (for those who lack an apostrophe on their keyboards).

I promise that no fire extinguishers or their cases were hurt in the writing of this blog post.

The New York Knicks lost to the Miami Heat (104-94) in Game 2 of their best-of-seven playoff series. This is the second defeat in a row. They were dominated in the fourth quarter with ease. Most say that this was a “must win” game for the Knicks. They now face an an incredible challenge to come back in this series.

Yahoo! reports that while exiting the court, Stoudemire punched the glass of a fire extinguisher case. He cut his hand and later left the arena with a heavily bandaged hand and his arm in a sling. It was reported that there was a great deal of blood in the Knicks locker room and that a paramedic that to assist in helping him with his injury. Stoudemire later tweeted, “I’m so mad at myself right now, I want to apologize to the fans and my team, not proud of my actions, headed for home for a new start.” The extent of his injury has not be reported yet, but due to the amount of blood and the bandage/sling medical equipment, it could be substantial.

It is unknown if Stoudemire is healthy enough to play in the rest of the series or if he will receive any discipline for his destruction of the arena’s property. He was just recovering from a back injury and he would join Jeremy Lin, Iman Shumpert, and possibly Baron Davis on the injured list. Davis missed the first-half of this game after his own back injury flared up on him. It is unknown if Lin will be able to play in this series and Shumpert will be out until next season with a torn ligament.

The Knicks have a nearly improbably task ahead of them. If they win one game in this series, I would consider it a moral victory. Carmelo Anthony can only do so much and he’s already maxed out. I will continue watching this series for Steve Novak, a “White Boy of the Year” nominee. They can go into the 2012-13 season with a decent draft pick in a very deep draft, a healthy Jeremy Lin, and either Mike Woodson or a new coach. They will be a better team next year, if they can stay healthy…and Stoudemire stops trying to fight fire extinguishing equipment.

Photo credit goes to Timothy Burke for his hilarious Photoshop talent. Go to Deadspin for his awesome photo and video work.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

2012 NFL Draft – Underrated Draft Picks

Once the 2012 NFL Draft started, it went by in a hurry. The first-round finished in about three hours, which is less than half of the time it took just three years ago. The picks were coming in faster than a commissioner’s hug and the trades were flowing like water. The top of the draft went as planned, but my mock draft barely survived the early surprise picks (Bruce Irvin). The chain reaction caused a few top prospects to fall deep into the draft.

A lot of quality players were taken later in the draft, which is where a team’s scouting department earns their money. The first few rounds have a greater percentage of sticking in the league, but the later rounds is where championship are won. Every Super Bowl team has a few guys like Donald Driver, Tom Brady, or Marques Colston, who were picked in the last two rounds of the NFL draft. Who were the steals in the 2012 NFL Draft? A few of these picks might surprise you, because there were a lot of smart draft picks this year.

12. Philadelphia Eagles – DT Fletcher Cox (Mississippi State) – I know what you’re thinking, “How can a Top-12 pick be a “steal?” It’s due to the fact that he was there at #12 and he was the #1 guy on their board. He wasn’t even the first defensive tackle taken. Kansas City drafted an untested guys from Memphis (Donatri Poe). Cox has been compared to Warren Sapp and if you can get a guy like that at #12, it’s a steal.

21. New England Patriots – DE Chandler Jones (Syracuse) – The Patriots could draft an 8-year old girl in the first-round and NFL analysts would defend it with “Belichick is a genius.” As much as I say that every year, I really love Jones. He reminds me of Dwight Freeney, but with the ability to be a really good OLB in a 3-4. His brother is Jon “Bones” Jones of the UFC, so you know he’ll be a fighter for you.

24. Pittsburgh Steelers – OG David DeCastro (Stanford) – DeCastro was a guy that I heard would be taken in the top 15, but teams didn’t focus much on offensive linemen in the first-round. He could be the best guard to enter the draft since Steve Hutchinson. Pittsburgh’s offensive line is old and fragile, so this was a pretty easy decision.

31. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – RB Doug Martin (Boise State) – The Bucs were sneaky before the Draft and didn’t squash the rumor that they wanted to move up for Trent Richardson. They kept their cool and ended up getting a better fit at running back at #31. Martin will be a nice complement to LeGarrette Blount. The duo reminds me of Brandon Jacobs and Ahmad Bradshaw, who had a nice run in New York.

34. Indianapolis Colts – TE Coby Fleener (Stanford) – Andrew Luck isn’t able to practice at the Colts practice facility until June. He is finishing up his academic quarter and he needs a familiar target to help ease him into the NFL. Fleener will also be at Stanford during this time, so it was logical that he was high on the Colts draft board. The Giants was rumored to be interested in him at #32, but ended up taking a running back instead. Fleener reminds me of Rob Gronkowski, because he can line up at tight-end or wide receiver. He has big hands and he isn’t a terrible blocker.

40. Carolina Panthers – OG Amini Silatolu (Midwestern State) – I didn’t know of Silatolu until I started to research some of the offensive linemen in this year’s draft class. I watched some videos online and read some of the chatter about him. The video of him is ridiculous, but I had to remind myself that he was facing sub-par talent at the D-II/D-III level. He is a project for the Panthers, but he impressed me enough to think of this pick as a steal.

51. Green Bay Packers – DT Jerel Worthy (Michigan State) – Just a few weeks ago, Worthy was mentioned as a first-round grade, just behind Cox and Poe. He will come into the league with a chip on his shoulder. If the Packers ever line up at a 4-3, he would be interesting beside of B.J. Raji, but in a 3-4, he’ll come in the game to spell Raji.

54. Detroit Lions – WR Ryan Broyles (Oklahoma) – Broyles was a consensus All-American in 2010 & 2011 and the NCAA FBS leader in career receptions (349). The reason that he fell into the second-round was that he tore his ACL in a November game last season. He will start out the year on the PUP list, but if the Lions are patient with him, he could be a nice bookend to Calvin Johnson.

55. Atlanta Falcons – C Peter Konz (Wisconsin) – Konz is another guy that was rumored to be picked late in the first-round. Konz fell because teams were drafting based on need instead of using the “best player available” strategy. The University of Wisconsin manufactures NFL offensive linemen and Konz will be in the league for a long time.

65. St. Louis Rams – DB Trumaine Johnson (Montana) – Montana isn’t known for it’s NFL talent, but seven players will end up in NFL camps. Johnson is a bit cornerback at nearly 6’2 and the kind of physical corner that Jeff Fisher loves. He will compete to the be a starter in 2012.

66. Minnesota Vikings – DB Josh Robinson (Central Florida) – The Vikings drafted the fastest guy at the NFL Combine, with a 4.29 40-yard time. I usually hate teams drafting the fastest guy high in the draft, but I like it when he’s a corner. He can play man-to-man or zone and he’ll instantly help Minnesota’s poor pass defense.

85. Detroit Lions – DB Dwight Bentley (Louisiana Lafayette) – This is the third “steal” of a cornerback in the 3rd round. He’s an aggressive guy and reminds some of Eric Berry. He will need some work to get at Berry’s level, but if you can get a starting cornerback at pick #85, you’re doing something right.

97. Miami Dolphins – RB Lamar Miller (Miami FL) – The Dolphins didn’t have to go very far to scount Miller. He has blazing speed (4.3) and will inject some life into Miami’s running attack. Some scouts had him as a Top-50 talent, but he was leapfrogged by some other running backs with higher potential.

109. Pittsburgh Steelers – DT Alameda Ta’amu (Washington) – Ta’amu received a high grade by a lot of scouts (2nd-round), but he was also hurt by a few guys being taken higher because of upside. He can fill holes on the interior with his 348 pound frame. The Steelers hope that he will be the Casey Hampton’s successor.

112. Arizona Cardinals – OT Bobby Massie (Mississippi) – One of Arizona’s top needs was trying to fill the vacated right-tackle position. They confused a lot of people when they didn’t address this issue in the first three rounds. Massie should win the starting right-tackle job and getting him here is a steal.

143. Carolina Panthers – DB Josh Norman (Coastal Carolina) – A lot of teams take small college cornerbacks in hopes of molding them into NFL talent. If they don’t pan out there, they can stick them on the special teams. Norman is a nice gamble at #143, because he has a nose for the ball. He has good size and could end up as a nickelback and get his team a few turnovers.

163. Green Bay Packers – OLB Terrell Manning (NC State) – Manning’s draft stock took a huge hit when he had knee surgery. He was a two year starter at NC State and Green Bay need depth at linebacker. They have been riddled with injuries at that position in the past. If they are patient with him, he’ll be a nice substitution or much more.

164. Atlanta Falcons – DE Jonathan Massaquoi (Troy) – Troy has produced DeMarcus Ware & Osi Umenyiora, so taking a chance on Massaquoi could have a high payout. He will add depth to the position in Atlanta. He’s a project, but all the raw talent is there to be a starter.

186. Dallas Cowboys – TE James Hanna (Oklahoma) – At Oklahoma, Hanna was a red-zone target with big play potential. He will add speed to the tight-end position, but will not be a good blocker. He will be an asset in a two tight-end formation and will be hard for a linebacker to cover with his speed. Drafting Hanna at #186 is great value for Dallas with little risk.

190. Tennessee Titans – S Markelle Martin (Oklahoma State) – If Martin didn’t tear his meniscus after the Senior Bowl, he would have went in the third or fourth round. He scared off some teams and he fell into the Titans’ lap in the sixth round. If he recovers fully from surgery, he can add depth to their secondary, exactly what you want from a late-round pick.

194. Philadelphia Eagles – WR Marvin McNutt (Iowa) – I’m starting to notice a theme with my “draft steals”…they are all coming off late-season injuries. McNutt is currently recovering from a shoulder injury, so he fell to the sixth-round. I watch a lot of Big Ten football games. McNutt seems to have been at Iowa for a decade, but all he did there was catch poorly-thrown balls. He’s a big guy and he will be an asset for Michael Vick.

205. Cleveland Browns – DT Billy Winn (Boise State) – The Browns needed help stopping the run and Winn can add depth at the defensive tackle position. He would have been a second-day pick, but once again, an injury (foot) dropped his draft stock. Winn could be one of the biggest steals in the draft if he bounces back from his injury.

219. Minnesota Vikings – DE Trevor Guyton (California) – Guyton had a third/fourth-round grade coming into the draft, but a lot of teams filled their need in the first two days of the draft. He’s a nice pick for Minnesota in the 7th-round.

224. New England Patriots – DB Alfonzo Dennard (Nebraska) – He has some off-field issues, but New England can take on the risk. Their secondary was one of the worst in NFL history, so they will find a spot for Dennard.

237. San Francisco 49ers – DE Cam Johnson (Virginia) – The Niners lack depth on the defensive line and they should be glad that he fell so far in the draft. I predict that he makes the team and has a chance to develop into a nice backup in the NFL.

242. New York Jets – S Antonio Allen (South Carolina) – Allen was graded high by most of the network talking heads and I like the pick. Rex Ryan is a smart guy and he needs to be able to move some guys around in the defense. Allen has played linebacker and safety in college. He’s the kind of guy that Ryan will love to coach.

250. San Diego Chargers – RB Edwin Baker (Michigan State) – I love this pick and could be my favorite of the sixth or seventh-round. Baker seemed to have peaked early in his college career, but he still had an above-average career. Ryan Mathews has had some durability issues and they needed a functional backup. Baker will be a cheap option and end up being Mike Tolbert-like goal-line back (if you subtract 40 lbs.).

What are some of your favorite picks from this year’s NFL Draft?

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Demaryius Thomas Will Not Miss Tim Tebow

Tim Tebow and Demaryius Thomas connected on one of the most memorable catches during the 2011-12 season. The 80-yard game-winning touchdown helped add to the legend of Tebow. They ended up losing in the next round to the New England Patriots, which ended up being the last game for Tebow as a member of the Denver Broncos. During the off-season, the Broncos signed Peyton Manning and they orchestrated a trade that sent Tebow to the New York Jets. Now that he’s out of town, the truth is starting to leak out. Thomas didn’t mince words about his time as a wide receiver during the “Tebow Era” in Denver.

…let’s just say that Mr. Thomas is looking forward to catching balls from Peyton Manning.

Thomas went on the 2 Live Stews radio show on 790 The Zone in Atlanta and he didn’t mince words about Tebow. He said that “it was a business decision…I ain’t gonna say that I was sad because the only thing they remember is that pass. I wasn’t getting no balls and you had to make some of these plays where some players were open and he was not making the throws.” The comments made by him sound like he’s making excuses for his average regular season numbers. To be fair to Tebow, Thomas did drop some easy catches this year.

After he gave his personal opinion about Tebow, he spoke for the team and what they thought about the media coverage. “Eveything on ESPN was about Tim,” Thomas said. “That bothered some players, too, because they would say ‘Tim Tebow Time.’ I felt like it was a team thing. If it wasn’t for defense most of the time, there would be no supposed ‘Tim Tebow Time.’ “

Since Thomas was a freshman at Georgia Tech, he has not been in a pass-happy offense. Before his sophomore year, Paul Johnson took over that program and implemented the triple-option. He still had good numbers and ended up being the #22 pick overall by the Broncos in the 2010 NFL Draft. He caught 22 passes his rookie year and suffered an Achilles injury during the off-season. He rehabbed the injury and ended up catching 32 passes during the 2011 regular season. In his first two seasons, he has a total of 54 catches for 834 yards with 6 touchdowns.

It isn’t clear why Thomas made these comments, but he will have a bull’s eye on his back this season. These comments fall under the “wide receiver diva” category and infused with blatant jealousy. He made some valid points, but Manning will give him every opportunity to put up Pro Bowl-level numbers. It’s time for Thomas to let his hands and feet do his talking.

Will Tim Tebow and Demaryius Thomas kiss and make up…again?

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Will Ozzie Guillen Change After Suspension?

The Miami Marlins have suspended manager Ozzie Guillen for five games for comments made in which he expressed respect for Cuban leader Fidel Castro. Miami has a very large Cuban population and the majority of the population detests Castro. It could be the worst thing that Guillen could have said, since this is his first year on the job and the Marlins recently opened up a new ballpark. They need the locals to come out and support the team. The Cuban population will not back a manager that supports a dictator that has suppressed their families for decades. Is five games enough to quench the fans’ anger? Will Guillen finally learn from his mistake?

This is not the first time that Guillen has been caught in a scandal that involved his mouth. He is extremely blunt and his opinions are usually a tough pill to swallow. His personality is the reason why he is no longer the manager of the Chicago White Sox. He lead them to their first World Series win since the “Black Sox scandal.” GM Kenny Williams finally had enough and had to let his former teammate go to another team. He had a couple sub-par seasons, but nothing that would be deemed as bad. If he kept his mouth shut, Guillen would have been entrenched as the manager of the White Sox. Keeping one’s mouth shut isn’t in Guillen’s instruction manual, so he landed in Miami as their skipper.

ESPN’s Dan LeBatard said it best, “Fidel Castro is our Adolph Hitler,” in reference to the Cuban population in South Florida. He added, “even a pro-Castro music act cannot play in Miami,” which sums up the community’s united front against the Cuban dictator. Guillen’s comments sting much harder in that area than anywhere else in America. Immigrants from Cuba float on rafts and risk their lives to make it to Florida. If you hate a man enough to risk your life and float on a piece of rubber for hundreds of miles, you’re not a huge fan of Guillen at this moment.

The Marlins suspended Guillen for five games and bench coach Joey Cora will take over during that period. We have seen authority figures come down on Guillen for his comments, but nothing has changed. He started his managerial career with the Marlins and he was making stupid comments during that time. Dan Patrick admitted that he interviewed Guillen during that time. He had to omit part of the interview, because he said something very derogatory about a player on his team. After the interview, the Marlins public relations representative came over and said that he didn’t mean that last part and that Patrick should leave it out. The quote didn’t make it into ESPN magazine, because Patrick thought that it was off-the-record and he didn’t want to take advantage of Guillen. This was only the beginning of his miscues as a team’s public figure.

Guillen publicly apologized, in English & Spanish, for his latest miscue during a nationally televised press conference. He admitted that this has really bothered him and he couldn’t sleep for the last few days. Guillen said, “I feel like I betrayed my Latin community,” which considering the circumstances, is an accurate statement. He looked defeated and physically bothered by the public backlash.

Miami Marlins fans will have to walk a very thin line over the next few years. Guillen will turn the franchise around, but he’ll say a few dumb things along the way. You’ll have to learn to push the mute button when he addresses the media. Marlins fans may need to confide in a few White Sox fans over the next few years. What Guillen said was extremely offensive and ignorant, but as a fan, you need to decide if you will be okay if he messes up again…because it will happen.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Should Arkansas Have Fired Bobby Petrino?

The University of Arkansas fired Bobby Petrino this afternoon. They stated that he “knowingly misled the school and engaged in reckless behavior with a 25-year old employee. This probably wouldn’t be an issue if he wasn’t the head football coach. The 51-year old was injured in a motorcycle accident and he lied about the presence of Jessica Dorrell, who was also on the motorcycle too. Dorrell was just hired a few weeks ago by Petrino. It is unknown if there was a “casting couch” situation, but this situation doesn’t stop the rumors. Should the University of Arkansas live under a different set of rules than Bill Clinton, who is the former Governor of Arkansas. Shouldn’t that state be lenient with this kind of activity?

Mr. Petrino should have known that if he went all “Ruff Ryderz” with his side-piece, he was begging for trouble. He was coming off a few successful seasons and was entrenched in his job. He was becoming an iconic figure in Arkansas. If he notched a few more bowl game victories, he would have surpassed Nolan Richardson in status. It is hard to believe that Arkansas went ahead with the firing of Petrino.

I was shocked by the news of the firing, because football money is a huge part of a university’s sports department’s revenue. Then the news came out about a clause that would free them from Petrino’s contract of roughly $3.53 million a year. If he “engaged in conduct that was clearly contrary to the character and responsibilities of a person occupying the position of head football coach or which negatively or adversely affects the reputation of the (university’s) athletics programs in any way,” he’d be canned. I understand the seriousness of this issue, but as Louisville did with Rick Pitino’s affair, I thought that they would sweep it under the rug.

When the University of Arkansas hired Bobby Petrino, he was the head coach of the Atlanta Falcons. The season wasn’t quite over yet and the next thing you know, he’s leading the Razorbacks in a “Woo Pig Sooie” chant. He quit on his team and left to take a job in the NCAA, a place where he knew how to win. It’s hard to look over the fact that he backtracked from a commitment and retreat with his tail between his legs.

I can’t deny that Petrino is a great college football coach. He’s helped direct two schools into premiere bowl games and he’s orchestrated a great offense at each school. He’ll get another job very soon and I don’t think he should have been fired. I respect Arkansas for making a moral decision, which is lacking in NCAA sports, but it was a dumb decision. He wasn’t drunk behind the wheel, in which many college coaches have been arrested for (Bob Huggins, Billy Gillispie, etc), but the university deemed this worse than endangering the innocent lives of others. Let this be a warning to any future coach at Arkansas, if you’re seeing a 25-year old on the down-low, get a designated driver.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Idolizing – Aziz Ansari

If you’re a fan of funny stand-up comedy and/or great television, you are familiar with Aziz Ansari. He’s the fourth installment of my “Idolizing” series. The first three posts were about Chuck Klosterman, Chuck Klosterman (again), & the McRib sandwich.…I am sure that Mr. Ansari is glad to be in this group.

I don’t want this post to read like his Wikipedia page, but here’s the lowdown on him. He plays Tom Haverford on NBC’s Parks & Recreation and he has appeared on the big screen in Funny People and 30 Minutes or Less. He is a working stand-up comedian and has a successful comedy album under his belt (Intimate Moments for a Sensual Evening). He even made a cameo in Jay-Z & Kanye West’s music video for Otis. Here is why idolize Aziz Ansari and what he has coming out in the near future.

I’m a big fan of Parks & Rec and I’m exactly sure why I haven’t written a hundred posts about Ron Swanson. Ansari steals the show with his facial expressions, faux-pimp swag, and for his anti-stereotypical portrayal of an Indian-American. My favorite episode is when Tom Haverford describes his nicknames for everyday food (which sparked up its own parody website). Guys in their late-20s and early 30s can relate to Mr. Haverford. He has a quasi-important 9 to 5 job, doesn’t have much game with women, and he yearns for a life of luxury. Continue reading →