Category Archives: sports

2009 MLB All-Overachiever Team

Due to injuries and roster changes, there are always guys who perform way better than expected. In 2009, there were plenty of those players who could have either helped your fantasy baseball team or your real life team. These players are all players who came out of nowhere or players who everyone gave up on, but have done a great job so far in 2009. Here is my 2009 All-Overachieving Team, did I miss anyone?

This team is full of players on the Tampa Bay Rays, Colorado Rockies, Texas Rangers, and Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. The Rays haven’t transferred these players having career years into a playoff spot, but the other teams are at least in the discussion to earn a playoff spot this season. Is this a coincidence? I doubt it, if a player overachieves, the team will benefit from winning games that they may have not won if that player wasn’t contributing at such a high level. Likewise, if you have these players on your personal team, you are probably near the top of your fantasy baseball league.

Catcher – Rod Barajas – He hit 11 homers and had 49 RBIs all of last season, but he may nearly double those numbers in 2009. He is already sitting at 18 homers and 64 RBIs with a batting average comparable to last season at .241. He has had much better seasons than Geovany Soto and Russell Martin, who were expected to do much better this season than Barajas.

First Base – Kendry Morales – Mark Teixeira left for the Yankees and the Angels needed a first baseman to fill the offensive void that he left. Kendry Morales was their answer with 30 homers, 98 RBIs, and currently batting .307 so far this season. He is a great find for the team and he should be there for a long time for the Halos.

Second Base – Ben Zobrist – After Akinori Iwamura went down early in the season with an injury, the Rays were scrambling for a long-term replacement for him. Ben Zobrist was a utility player who bounced around between Triple-A and the Majors and they picked him to fill in. He has had a career year and he’s been a key to the Rays success this year. He has hit 23 homers, drove in 72 runs, stole 16 bases, and is slugging .517 so far this season. They would be hard pressed to move him next season when Iwamura is 100% healthy from his injury, it should be his job now.

Shortstop – Jason Bartlett – Speed and defense was hit game, but this year he has added some power and boosted his batting average by 50 points. He has hit 14 homers this year, after hitting one all of last season. He has also soared his batting average up to .331 and stole 24 bases for the Rays this year. He has been a big surprise and his defense has helped them stay in games.

Third Base – Mark Reynolds – He has always shown power at the plate, but hasn’t ever hit for average, let alone steal bases with consistency. He has done all of that and managed to already hit 41 homers while hitting for .271 and stealing 22 bases. He is the lone bright spot for the Diamondbacks this year.

Outfield – Garrett Jones – He was a career minor-league player and as soon as the Pirates called him up, he has been a hitting machine. He has already hit 19 homers, drive in 38, and has batted .304 in only 247 at-bats this year. Not only has he been hitting, he has also stolen 9 bases, this was totally unexpected from Jones this year or ever.

Outfield – Juan Rivera – He only received around 250 at-bats in 2008, but didn’t put up any numbers to brag about, but in 2009, it’s a different story. He has hit 22 homers, drove in 79 runs, and is hitting .292. He has been a big key in the Angels locking up the AL West title, since they weren’t expecting these kind of numbers from Rivera.

Outfield – Jake Fox – I would file him next to Garrett Jones in this category. Fox didn’t have a great 2008 in the minors, but at the beginning of 2009, he was leading the minors in homers and the Cubs had to bring him up. He has already hit 10 homers with 39 RBIs in only 178 at-bats. They have to find a regular position for him, because his bat has been on fire.

Starting Pitcher – Jason Marquis – He was the fifth starter for the Chicago Cubs for the last two seasons, but he never pitched very well for the team. He did pitch well for St. Louis, previous to the Cubs, but he failed to make the post-season rotation with either the Cardinals or Cubs. If the Rockies make the playoffs, Marquis will definitely make the rotation and he could very well be the anchor. He currently 15-10 with a 3.65 ERA for Colorado this year. He has never had explosive stuff, but he has pitched smart this year and is having a career year.

Starting Pitcher – Barry Zito – He’s currently 9-12, but I added him to this roster because he has been so bad the last two years. His ERA is currently 3.99 and the last 30 days, he has a 2.36 ERA, 1.28 WHIP, and three quality starts. If he can pitch like this the rest of the way, the Giants could be making their way to the playoffs.

Starting Pitcher – Jorge De la Rosa – He started the season very bad, but has made up for lost time by winning nearly every game since. He is 14-9 with a 4.37 ERA and has 170 strikeouts. Over the last few months, he has been averaging more than a strikeout per inning and has lead the Majors in wins. This turnaround in the middle of the season is amazing and he could be in the Cy Young conversation if he didn’t start out so poorly.

Starting Pitcher – Scott Feldman – In 2008, Feldman had an ERA over 5.00 and was bouncing around between the rotation and bullpen. Nolan Ryan started him in a throwing program this off-season and he has benefited from this the most. He is currently 16-4 with a 3.46 ERA and is in the AL Cy Young discussion. He has been a huge reason why the Texas Rangers have been in the AL Wild-Card race this late into the season.

Starting Pitcher – Joel Pineiro – He has been struggling since he had one good season in Seattle. In 2008, he had an ERA over 5.00 and looked like he could lose his rotation spot this year. He isn’t flashy and he doesn’t strike many guys out, but he is currently 15-10 with a 3.21 ERA, more than the Cardinals were bargaining for in 2009.

Relief Pitcher – Darren O’Day – He was an unknown, but in 2009 he has came out of the bullpen and has helped keep leads for his starting pitchers. He has pitched 51 innings and has 51 strikeouts, while sporting a 1.76 ERA and an impressive WHIP of 0.98. He has single-handedly brought the Rangers bullpen from embarrassing to impressionable.

Relief Pitcher – Trevor Miller – Miller has always been a power pitcher out of the bullpen, but this season he has kept the ball down and kept up his strikeout rate. He has a 1.80 ERA with a 0.88 WHIP and has recorded 41 strikeouts in 40 innings of work. The Cardinals bullpen has been great as a whole, but Miller has kept up the pace and more.

Relief Pitcher – LaTroy Hawkins – Maybe I discount what Hawkins can do because he was so horrible with the Chicago Cubs. The 2009 version of Hawkins has been very good and has been a jack-of-all-trades for the Houston Astros bullpen. He has a 2.38 ERA in 56.2 innings of work so far. He has plenty of holds on the year and has filled in as the closer, scoring 11 saves.

Closer – David Aardsma – Aardsman was bad, bad, bad in 2008 with an ERA of 5.55. After Brandon Morrow doing horrible as the closer at the beginning of the year, the Mariners gave Aardsma a shot and he has ran with it. He has 34 saves, 73 strikeouts in 62.2 innings, and an ERA of 2.15. He wa a closer in college, but hasn’t had many chances in the pros to keep a job. I believe he has done a great job with the Mariners and it should be his job to lose in 2010.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Why Your Team Will Not Win The Super Bowl

Right now, every NFL fan thinks their team is going to be a Super Bowl contender. Only one team wins every year, so most fans leave the season dejected and deflated. I want to help you out and push you off the ledge and take that cup of kool-aid out of your hand. It’s better to realize now that your team is bad, rather than wait until the playoffs, or if you’re a Lions fan, Week three. Read this and see why your team isn’t going to win the Super Bowl in 2009.

Arizona Cardinals – Your quarterback is nearly a grandpa and you drafted a fragile running back to anchor your backfield. If the injury bug hits, it could devastate worse than the plague.

Atlanta Falcons – Michael Turner aged four years last season by getting more than 370 carries and Matt Ryan isn’t Peyton Manning….yet.

Baltimore Ravens – If you take Derrick Mason out of the line-up, I have more career catches than the rest of the wide-receiving corps combined.

Buffalo Bills – Remember when Marcus Stroud was good? Buffalo fans have no memory of it. The NFL Odds will be stacked against them this year.

Carolina Panthers – You had your chance last season, but Delhomme literally gave the game away. Also, the Panthers have never had back-to-back seasons of over .500 football.

Chicago Bears – You traded two future first-round picks and a neckbeard for a diabetic quarterback. Is it me or does he have a little Jeff George in him?

Cincinnati Bengals – Ask the Chiefs and Cowboys how they did after being on “Hard Knocks.” Also, Chad Ochocinco will have his twitter feed pumped through his helmet by mid-season.

Cleveland Browns – Braylon Edwards can’t catch a pass Josh Cribbs isn’t your answer. Also, your quarterback has been on the cover of Men’s Fitness once every fiscal quarter. How about Brady Quinn spend more time watching film and less working on his abs.

Dallas Cowboys – Jessica Simpson is gone…the jinx is gone! Unfortunately, Wade Phillips is still your coach. Good news, you have a sweet tv above your field.

Denver Broncos – Your quarterback has broken finger and a neckbeard and your #1 receiver hates your city.

Detroit Lions – Let me know when you win a game and then we can think of something witty about you losing a Super Bowl.

Green Bay Packers – Your defensive backs are so old that they probably owned pagers. I remember when they played in college, I did quite a bit of NCAA football betting on the teams that they played for.

Houston Texans – A lot of people are picking your team as a dark horse. They forgot that you have to play the Colts and Titans twice every year.

Indianapolis Colts – Bob Sanders is injured again, I guess you better get Maurice Jones-Drew, Steve Slaton, and Chris Johnson on your fantasy team, they are going to be racking up a lot of yards against the Colts.

Jacksonville Jaguars – If you lose a game and no fan is there to watch it, did you really lose a game? The way that they are selling tickets there, maybe they won’t lose any games this season.

Kansas City Chiefs – Your team still smells like Herm Edwards.

Miami Dolphins – Your team is partially owned by Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony. They sent a memo that the “wildcat” formation will now be known as “El Gato Loco”

Minnesota Vikings – Brett Favre has a torn shoulder and he’ll want to pass on every down. Adrian Peterson might as well line up as the slot receiver.

New England Patriots – Your team traded or forced all of their veterans on defense to retire after last season. You better get used to 49-48 games this season.

New Orleans Saints – They can definitely score points, but let me know when their cornerbacks can cover an NFL receiver.

New York Giants – The last time Mario Manningham caught a pass, he was in college. Now he’s one of your main targets. Good luck with that Giants fans.

New York Jets – New coach, rookie quarterback, old running back, weak receiving corps…Super Bowl Champions! Mike Greenberg’s head would explode, leaving a thick film of hair gel on everything.

Oakland Raiders – Maybe if Tom Cable took some of that aggression and punched some of his players in the face, they would win some games.

Philadelphia Eagles – Your quarterback looks like he has gained 20 pounds and he’s very thin-skinned. The fans are already chanting Michael Vick’s name, I’m sure McNabb can handle it, right?

Pittsburgh Steelers – Your team has the most obnoxious fanbase of any team. No matter what I say here, you’re still going to be crazy. So go wave your yellow blankies and drink your Iron City beer.

San Diego Chargers – It’s not good when you’re star linebacker is choking bi-sexual asian women.

San Francisco 49ers – Mike Singletary is a scary man, the Niners will be pissing themselves if they drop a pass or miss an assignment. I would recommend wearing a diaper under your jock strap.

Seattle Seahawks – Jim Mora Jr. is your head coach. That’s not the better and more entertaining Jim Mora. Remember when Jim Mora Jr. called on a cell phone during a game? He’s clueless.

St. Louis Rams – They let their best player leave, Torry Holt, and they still have no quarterback.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Someone should tell them that you can only play one quarterback at a time, so there is no need to have that many on your roster.

Tennessee Titans – Kerry Collins is an old man and your back-up still has his tail between his legs from an interception he threw last season.

Washington Redskins – Was Jim Zorn ready to be a head coach? I think I know at least 53 guys who wouldn’t think so.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

A Michigan Fan’s Journey To The Season Opener

Our resident University of Michigan fan, Joe Pasquali, went to the season opener against Western Michigan last weekend. He starts out pretty timid, but ends like any true Wolverines fan, cocky as hell. Here is his detailed experience from the season opener.

We drove up, parked in the same place off the Michigan Golf Course, fired up the same grill, played the same game of corn hole (or bag toss, whatever you want to call it) and downed the same beers. On the exterior the 2009 Michigan opening game would look like every opening game I have been to over the past years, this being my 8th in a row. But, if I told you it felt like any of the others, I’d be lying.

Nervous
Worried
No Confidence
Quiet

These are things I would never expect to feel at an opening game in The Big House. And frankly, I shouldn’t have to feel. But I did. And I can tell you 100,000 other people were feeling the same way. Sure, we hid it well by going through our normal routine and pretending this year is just like every other, when deep down we knew it wasn’t.

Even before the game started, one point to hammer it home was when a Western Michigan fan started trash talking to me while walking up to the gate. We had struck up polite speculation on the game ahead when all of the sudden he started into it.

“Man, we are going to hang like 40 on you guys, just like App. State, Utah, Oregon, and everybody else that comes into the Quiet House. You got no defense, I mean, who do you got??”
Any other year, ANY OTHER YEAR, I would have just spat back a few curse words and told him to head back to crappy Western and hope he gets to head back East sometime for the Motor City bowl. But not this year.

I actually found myself defending UM to a Broncos fan! I said, “Well, Brandon Graham is good, and Obi Ezeh, OH and Donovan Warren is a great cornerback.” The Western fan laughed, cursed Michigan and yelled a projected Broncos whooping in front of 100 Michigan fans. No one yelled back. Everyone was too nervous to back UM.

I say now, thinking of the pre-game and the Western fan, that a University of Michigan fan should never defend his team to a Western Michigan fan, or really, most fans for that matter. And I never will again. Ok, two bad years, yeah we had that. Lets start counting your teams bad years. Yeah thought so. Below are the teams that I will defend my team to in the future, because I have respect for their programs and their winning traditions.

Ohio State
Penn State
Florida
USC
Oklahoma
Texas
Alabama
Nebraska
Tennessee

That’s it. Yeah, I know I left Notre Dame off. Why? Because I will not take trash talk from a Golden Domer, no sir. Sorry, I got my UM hat on for this article and if you are a Notre Dame fan feel free to send me hate mail at Radioguy1486@yahoo.com

Anyways, back to the game.

The environment at Michigan could not have been summed up better than the first two drives for both teams. Western gets the ball first, Michigan forces a punt after a 3 and out. Place goes nuts, the typical DEFENSE chants arise and the student section erupts, all is well and good.

Michigan gets the ball……. the place goes a bit quiet…. AND MICHIGAN GETS A FIRST DOWN. OH HAPPY DAYS. Literally, everyone wearing maize or blue starts cheering like we just won the game. FOR A FIRST DOWN. Oh, but it gets better.

Forcier is leading us on a pretty decent first drive and are already in field goal range and he has thrown some good balls. People in the crowd are murmuring about how well this freshman is playing, but still a bit nervous. Forcier runs a play action and rolls out of the pocket, he is looking downfield, he makes a read and lofts a ball to a breaking Junior Hemingway. In 2008 this ball is intercepted, the drive stopped and Michigan Stadium falls silent. But, THIS YEAR, the ball is just out of reach for the defender and Hemingway catches it falling into the end zone. Michigan Stadium lifts off the face of the earth. 100,000 plus people are yelling, screaming, hugging each other and praising Tate Forcier.

Tate Forcier, the second coming of Christ.
Tate Forcier, Tom Brady, Chad Henne, Brian Griese, all rolled into one.
Tate Forcier, who the f%$k needs Pryor.
Tate Forcier, with him all things are possible.

Not joking, this is how we all felt after that one drive. One drive. The rest of the game Michigan rolled and as the points stacked up us fans felt our confidence returning, slowly but surely.

One of the funniest parts of the game came near the end when my Dad looked to me in the third quarter and asked when I wanted to get out of here. Since we got a two hour plus drive home, in the past openers we usually left late in the game when Michigan was rolling. It had been at least two years since I could leave a UM game early because WE were beating on someone!

I turned to my Dad and said, “Yeah, we got this one. Let’s get out of here.”
Because really, Western Michigan, was there any doubt?

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

NFL: 53 Man Roster – Who Got Cut?

I had a pretty busy weekend and I took a much needed two days off and a lot has happened in the world of the National Football League. Every year teams have to cut their roster down after their pre-season games and this year a lot surprise cuts happened. See who your favorite team cut and what players are out there that your team could sign.

You have guys on this list that are holding onto their careers, draft picks that didn’t make the team, and guys that are cut, but will end up on their practice squad and could end up on the 53-man roster this season. These guys are cut, but for many, their careers are a long way from being over. I didn’t make a complete list, because I didn’t want to bore my readers, I listed some of the essential players that could land with another team or surprise cuts that should send shock waves through their fanbase.

Arizona Cardinals – QB Tyler Palko, LB Chase Bullock, TE Leonard Pope, LB Pago Togafau, S Aaron Francisco, C Melvin Fowler, G Oliver Ross, WR Steve Sanders

Atlanta Falcons – WR Troy Bergeon, RB Thomas Brown, LB Robert James, QB D.J. Shockley, WR Chandler Williams, WR Robert Ferguson

Baltimore Ravens – DT Nader Abdullah, LB Tony Fein, WR Yamon Figurs, DT Will Johnson, OT Stefan Rodgers, OT Tre’ Stallings, CB Evan Oglesby

Buffalo Bills – QB Matt Baker, WR C.J. Hawthorne, LB Alvin Bowen, RB Bruce Hall, RB Dominic Rhodes, LB John DiGiorgio, OT Nick Hennessey, C Christian Gaddis

Carolina Panthers – RB Larry Beavers, QB Hunter Cantwell, WR Jason Chery, WR Marcus Monk, OT Jonathan Palmer, RB DeCori Birmingham, LB Casper Brinkley, DE D.J. Clark, LB Marlon Favorite, OT Partick Brown

Chicago Bears – FB Jason Davis, LB Mike Rivera, CB Roderick Hood, LB Darrell McClover, G Johan Asiata, OT Cody Balogh, DE Joe Clermond, LB Marcus Freeman, CB Marcus Hamilton

Cincinnati Bengals – RB James Johnson, WR Freddie Brown, DE Ventrell Jenkins, S Corey Lynch, DT Clinton McDonald, CB Rico Murray, DT Langston Moore

Cleveland Browns – S Tra Battle, RB Noah Herron, CB Corey Ivy, WR David Patten, TE Aaron Walker, DT Santonio Thomas, CB Brandon Anderson, LB Beau Bell, LB Titus Brown, G Pat Murray, S Hamza Abdullah

Dallas Cowboys – S Courtney Brown, RB Keon Lattimore, WR Isaiah Stanback, Jesse Holley, CB Jeremy Haynes, C Ryan Gibbons, LB Tearrius George, DE Marcus Dixon, QB Rudy Carpenter

Denver Broncos – CB Josh Bell, CB Tony Carter, DE Nic Clemons, DB D.J. Johnson, CD Antwain Spann, RB Darius Walker, S Vernon Fox, LB Braxton Kelley

Detroit Lions – WR John Standeford, QB Brooks Bollinger, RB Aveion Cason, WR Keary Colbert, K Billy Cundiff, WR Dane Looker, S Stuart Schweigert, DE Shaun Smith, LB Zack Follett, CB Ramzee Robinson

Green Bay Packers – QB Brian Brohm, WR Ruvell Martin, S Anthony Smith, DT Ronald Talley, RB Tyrell Sutton, CB Trevor Ford, OT Andrew Hartline, LB Cyril Obiozor

Houston Texans – LB Cato June, CB Deltha O’Neal, QB Alex Brink, LB Buster Davis, RB Jonathan Evans, RB Arian Foster, WR Darnell Jenkins, DT Josh Leonard

Indianapolis Colts – DT Terrance Taylor, WR Samuel Giguere, RB Mike Hart, CB Dante Hughes, C Steve Justice, RB Walter Mendenhall, G Jamie Thomas, OT Michael Toudouze, DE Josh Thomas

Jacksonville Jaguars – RB Chauncey Washington, QB Todd Boeckman, WR Tiquan Underwood, S Marlon McCree, CB Brian Williams, CB Pete Ittersagen, G Cameron Stephenson, RB Josh Vaughan

Kansas City Chiefs – WR Ashley Lelie, LB Zach Thomas, S Bernard Pollard, DT Dion Gales, DT Bobby Greenwood, G Darryl Harris, CB Jackie Bates

Miami Dolphins – CB Joey Thomas, S Courtney Bryan, WR Brandon London, WR James Robinson, DT Ryan Baker, CB Will Billingsley

Minnesota Vikings – QB John David Booty, RB Ian Johnson, CB Marcus walker, WR Bobby Williams, DE Tremain Johnson, CB De’von Hall, LB David Herron, CB Marcus McCauley, S Colt Anderson

New England Patriots – DT Titus Adams, CB Jamar Love, DT Darryl Richard, OT Wesley Britt, TE Alex Smith, S Raymond Ventrone

New Orleans Saints – WR Adrian Arrington, WR Skyler Green, RB P.J. Hill, LB Anthony Waters, OT Anthony Davis, QB Joey Harrington, DE Paul Spicer, G Nathan Bennett, OT Michael Brown, C Digger Bujnoch

New York Giants – QB Rhett Bomar, QB Andre Woodson, WR David Tyree, DE Maurice Evans, DT Anthony Bryant, DR Jeremy Clark, DE Robert Henderson, CB Travonti Johnson

New York Jets – CB Rashad Barksdale. DT Kareem Brown, S Emanuel Cook, WR Marcus Henry, DT Matt Kroul, DE Zach Potter, DT Ty Steinkuhler

Oakland Raiders – QB Jeff Garcia, S Jerome Boyd, CD Mike Hawkins, RB Gary Russell, DT Darrell Strong, LB Morlon Greenwood, CB Justin Miller, DB Terdell Sands

Philadelphia Eagles – RB Lorenzo Booker, FB Kyle Eckel, DE Josh Gaines, DE Bryan Smith, CB Trae Williams, FB Dan Klecko, TE Matt Schobel, LB Matt Wilhelm, WR Danny Amendola

Pittsburgh Steelers – WR Dallas Baker, OT Jason Capizzi, LB Tom Korte, CB Anthony Madison, LB Andy Schantz, C A.Q. Shipley, RB Isaac Redman, LB Donovan Woods, DE Scott Paxson

San Diego Chargers – DE Andre Coleman, LB James Holt, G Kynan Forney, DT Ian Scott, OT L.J. Shelton, G Ray Feinga, DT Rashaad Jackson, C Ryan McDonald

San Francisco 49ers – OT Alex Boone, CB Eric Green, OT Joe Toledo, C Matt Spanos, LB Justin Roland, TE Bear Pascoe, DT Khalif Mitchell, CB Terrail Lambert

Seattle Seahawks – S Jamar Adams, CB Marquis Floyd, S Courtney Greene, S Brian Russell, WR Courtney Taylor, S Nate Ness, C Cory Withrow, LB D.D. Lewis

St. Louis Rams – QB Brock Berlin, DT Antwon Burton, LB Dominic Douglas, S Todd Johnson, WR Ronald Curry, WR Tim Carter, RB Antonio Pittman, FB Jerome Johnson, DE Ian Campbell

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – WR Cortez Hankton, K Matt Bryant, DE Louis Holmes, DT Rashaad Duncan, DT Chris Bradwell, CB Kyle Arriton, OT Anthony Alabi, DE Jarriett Buie, WR Patrick Carter

Tenneessee Titans – P A.J Trapasso, CB Demarcus Faggins, LB Rocky Boiman, DE LaJuan Ramsey, DT Mitch King, CB Tuff Harris, CB Tanard Davis

Washington Redskins – WR D.J. Hackett, LB Robert Thomas, QB Chase Daniel, DT Antonio Dixon, RB Dominique Dorsey, CB Lendy Holmes, K Dave Rayner, DT J.D. Sholnitsky, LB Darrel Young

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

I Give Up: A Manifesto Of A Pissed Off Cubs Fan

This post may be epic and wordy, but I have a lot to get off of my chest. I have stuck by the Cubs through thick and thin, but I am at a point where I may sell my “fanhood” to another team, just like the Cubs have tried to sell the team for the past 24 months. In the following post, I am going to explain why I’m pissed, what the Cubs can do to win me back, why I’m allowed to question my loyalty as a fan, and what the future holds for the Chicago Cubs.

Listen, I am 28 years old, I’ve been through some thin years as a Chicago Cubs fan. I know some people older than me have had even worse experiences than me, but you got to enjoy Jack Brickhouse and Harry Carey longer, so we’re even. The last six years, as a Cubs fan, have been probably some of the best years an Cubs fan could realistically ask for. A few division championships, a few playoff wins, but not one World Series appearance. I know that if a Cubs fan rarely believes that his team has a chance to win the World Series. There is always hope, but you have visions of Steve Garvey, Ivan Rodriguez, and even Augie Ojeda go through your head and grounds your hopes.

This is why I am pissed off. Jim Hendry started off his career as a GM very well. He got pieces that the fans wanted and made everyone excited about the future of the Cubs. We finally had someone that wanted to go out and win right now. That may be the underlying problem with everything that is wrong with the Chicago Cubs. The Cubs haven’t manufactured any great talent out of their farm system in years. Mark Grace was the last great player to come through the farm system. They have lacked the expertise to develop their own players, so they traded their young pieces away for mediocre talent in return. If a team is always in the playoff race, young talent will not have the time to develop at the Major League level. My examples are Rich Hill and Felix Pie, I know neither of them are winning post-season awards right now, but they didn’t have time to develop. Rich Hill bounced around the minors and Chicago the last few seasons. He dominated in the minors and had trouble pitching in Wrigley. Pie also bounced around between Iowa and Chicago and was mostly kept around to make Alfonso Soriano comfortable. They were both traded to the Orioles for scrubs and I hope they flourish in Baltimore.

Which leads me to another reason that I am pissed. Why does Jim Hendry always trade with Andy MacPhail in Baltimore? I know that MacPhail was his boss when he was first with Baltimore, but this personal relationship has severely damaged the Chicago Cubs. If they are such good friends, why was it so difficult to pry Brian Roberts away from him? A rumor floated around for about two seasons that they were in trade talks, but nothing ever happened with that, but somehow we ended up with Ryan Freel and Garrett Olsen? Hendry needs to quit being so chummy with MacPhail and talk with other teams when trying to improve the Chicago Cubs.

Ownership changes have drained this team of any emotion. The players knew that they had to play the entire season with the players already on the team, since they couldn’t add any more payroll because of the sell of the team. Injuries hit the team and Geovany Soto, Derrek Lee, Alfonso Soriano, Aramis Ramirez, and Carlos Zambrano were all missed time at the beginning of the year. The team lacked emotion and even a Lou Pinella rant couldn’t bring them out of their funk. They attempted to get Jake Peavy from the Padres, but couldn’t take on his salary, which lead to the White Sox getting him at a discounted rate near the trade deadline. I’m not saying that Peavy would have won the NL Central for Chicago, but it could have showed the players that management wanted to do everything to win. With no major additions to the team at either trade deadline (I’m sorry John Grabow doesn’t count), the Cubs slipped down the standings as the Cardinals added Mark DeRosa and Matt Holliday. This ownership change happened at the absolute worst time, since this team was a right-fielder and a dominant closer away from at least a Wild-Card spot.

The Cubs have one of the worst farm systems in all of the Major Leagues. They have been signing Type-A and Type-B free-agents the last few seasons and don’t have many blue-chip prospects. Josh Vitters could be their lone future star, but Wellington Castillo and Tyler Colvin both look promising. The problem there is that Vitters plays 3B and Castillo is a catcher, two positions that the Cubs have a small need for. Colvin could turn into a player that they could use, but they are currently tied up in a few bad contracts in the outfield and there isn’t any room for him. John Grabow, Rich Harden, and Kevin Gregg are all Type-A free agents and if they sign with a team, the Cubs could get that team’s first-round draft picks. Jim Hendry was smart in keeping them, even if they have no interest in re-signing the trio. This could help restock the farm system and build this team from the ground up. If only they had the minor league managers and instructors that could develop any of that talent.

I am allowed to question my loyalty to the Chicago Cubs. They are the only team that I have ever rooted for, but they have let me down in a way that I wasn’t ready for. Selling the team at this point, when their team has elite talent, is such a horrible ending to this team’s arc of improvement. I believe that they need to blow up the team. I said it, I didn’t think that I would get to this point, but just ride out the contracts, trade the pieces away that you can get young talent in return, and give me a product on the field that I can feel good about myself while cheering for you. Milton Bradley’s attitude and racially-filled paranoia added with Zambrano’s lack of focus and his inability to sound like he even cares, has made me dislike this team. Give me players like Kerry Wood, who was willing to take a pay-cut to stay with the Cubs out of loyalty. I don’t know if I am at a point where I can see the greed in the players eyes, but there is something that I don’t like about this team.

I’m not asking for a World Series, I’m not asking for an NL Central crown, just give me a team that looks like they are trying and you will have me as a fan of your team for as long as you’ll have me. If any players read this, go out there, run out ground balls, slide hard into double-plays, dive for foul balls, and have fun out there. The season is officially over at the end of the regular season, you’ll have plenty of time to be lazy this off-season.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

2009 College Football – All-Name Team

Not everyone can have the last name ‘Manning’ or ‘Montana’, some of us have to go through life with a pretty ridiculous name. Most of these names are pretty rough to grow up with, but some are names you wish you may have, especially if you are named something bland like Joe Smith or Bobby Roberts.

H.B. Banjoman – RB – Eastern Kentucky

Taylor Elmo – RB – Idaho

Boogie McCray – RB Louisville

Willy Korn – QB – Clemson

Ras-I Dowling – CB – Virginia

David Wang – G – Virginia Tech

Boo Jackson – QB – Ohio

Nathan Dick – QB – Central Arkansas

Buddy Bardenwerper – RB – Harvard

Terrence Bobo – RB – Central Arkansas

Rashod Bumpers – RB – Bucknell

Major Gray – RB – Souther Utah

SirChauncey Holloway – RB – Harvard

Tyrel Kool – RB – South Dakota State

Kingjack Washington – RB – Missouri State

Chizzy Dimude – RB – Hawaii

Jock Sanders – RB – West Virginia

Mookie Asaad – WR – Southern Miss

Nick Toon – WR – Wisconsin

Hans Broman – WR – Drake

Nick Liquori – WR – Sacred Heart

Thor Brown – TE – North Dakota State

Ben Bologna – K – Princeton

Mister Cobble – LB – Kentucky

Stash McGuiness – OL – Cal-Poly

Dirk Kool – LB – South Dakota State

Heath Cockburn – G – Furman

T-Bob Hebert – C – LSU

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

MLB: Potential September Call-Ups

Every fan, even if their team is out of the playoff race, gets excited around September 1st. In 2009, there are a huge list of potential future stars that could be called up. I compiled a list of players that fans would like to see play in the Major Leagues in September this year. A few of the names on the list may not be called up, but they all have a legitimate shot.

1B Brandon Allen – Arizona Diamondbacks

C Robby Hammock – Baltimore Orioles

2B Justin Turner – Baltimore Orioles

C Jeff Fiorentino – Baltimore Orioles

OF Chris Duncan – Boston Red Sox

1B Yonder Alonso – Cincinnati Reds

3B Josh Vitters – Chicago Cubs

P Jeff Samardzija – Chicago Cubs

P John Gaub – Chicago Cubs

C Tyler Flowers – Chicago White Sox

C Carlos Santana – Cleveland Indians

SS Jason Donald – Cleveland Indians

OF Matt Murton – Colorado Rockies

OF Wikin Ramirez – Detroit Tigers

P Zach Simons – Detroit Tigers

1B Gaby Sanchez – Florida Marlins

1B Logan Morrison – Florida Marlins

OF Mike Stanton – Florida Marlins

OF Drew Locke – Houston Astros

SS Mike Moustakas – Kansas City Royals

1B/DH Kila ka’aihue – Kansas City Royals

OF Chris Petit – Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

3B Blake DeWitt – Los Angeles Dodgers

3B Mat Gamel – Milwaukee Brewers

OF Shelley Duncan – New York Yankees

3B Brett Wallace – Oakland Athletics

3B Pedro Alvarez – Pittsburgh Pirates

P Aaron Poreda – San Diego Padres

C Buster Posey – San Francisco Giants

1B Mike Carp – Seattle Mariners

OF Matt Joyce – Tampa Bay Rays

P Luis Mendoza – Texas Rangers

C J.P. Arencibia – Toronto Blue Jays

P Drew Storen – Washington Nationals

P Clint Everts – Washington Nationals

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Unused NFL Nicknames

I’m growing tired of the nicknames players either give themselves or announcers coin a nickname by used first initial and the beginning of last name (A-Rod). Also, enough with the recycling of nicknames, LaDanian Tomlinson is not “LT,” that nickname should only be used for Lawrence Taylor. My list of nicknames are ones the players never use, because most of them I made myself.
Use them in sentences and blog posts, let’s get these in the vernacular of sports fan and establish them in the sports lexicon. Okay, I’ll stop using words that I learned in Linguistics class.

Maurice Jones-Drew – The Hyphen

Peyton Manning – The Good Son

LaDanian Tomlinson – The Forgotten

Hank Baskett – The NFL’s Rick Fox

Terrell Owens – The QB Killer

Tony Romo – Page Six

Matt Schaub – 10-Game All Star

Brian Westbrook – Day-To-Day

Plaxico Burress – Six Shooter

Michael Vick – The Postman

Steve Slaton – The Mosquito

Brandon Jacobs – Diesel

Kurt Warner – The Octo-Dad

Pierre Thomas – The French Tickler

Vishante Shiancoe – The Kickstand

Chris Cooley – The Streak

Wes Welker – America’s White Boy (I’ll let him use it)

Brandon Marshall – Fast Food

Darius Heyward-Bey – Unlucky

Knowshon Moreno – Leapfrog

Shaun Rogers – BBQ Rib Combo

Jay Cutler – Huggies

Beanie Wells – Injured Reserve

Jerricho Cotchery – Armadgeddon

Torry Holt – I’m A Jag?

Steve Breaston – Bouncing

Kyle Orton – The Hillbilly

Sage Rosenfels – Paprika

Chris Brown – 3rd String

2009 Fantasy Football Sleepers (Team By Team)

It’s about that time of year that you are preparing for your annual fantasy football drafts. Everyone has a good idea of who they want with their first-round picks, but what about the later rounds? Those who are in deeper leagues or “Man’s Leagues” with 20 teams, they need to be aware of sleepers of players that you can pick up later in the draft that may have some fantasy value. A few of the players that I’m about to list should be picked higher than where they are going and a few are possibly injury replacements that you should keep your eyes on.

Arizona Cardinals – Tim Hightower RB – The Cardinals drafted Beanie Wells out of Ohio State, but he has dealt with the injury bug in college and could keep that trend in the NFL. Hightower wasn’t happy when Arizona drafted Wells and worked hard in the off-season.

Atlanta Falcons – Brian Finneran WR – Finneran adds veteran leadership to the wider receiver squad. He should help with the catches if any other receiver goes down with an injury. (I had Harry Douglas here earlier, but I was informed that he tore his ACL a few days ago. Thanks to theGNC for giving me the heads up on this one)

Baltimore Ravens – Ray Rice RB – Even with LeRon McClain and Willis McGahee in the backfield, Rice will get some carries. He has had a great training camp so far and a lot of people are saying good things about his work ethic. He was a beat at Rutgers, where he played top talent, I bet Rice will be a force in the NFL very soon.

Buffalo Bills – Fred Jackson RB – Marshawn Lynch starts the season suspended and they sign Dominic Rhodes, but Jackson has the upper hand in the battle between himself and Rhodes. He will slip into the later rounds and it would be a nice pick in the mid-rounds to secure some #1 running back totals the first few weeks of the season.

Carolina Panthers – Josh McCown – QB – I’m not sold on Jake Delhomme, Carolina should have signed Byron Leftwich when they had the chance, but Josh McCown is their #2 QB right now. McCown will see action this season, so if you are ballsy and pick Delhomme, make sure you snag McCown as insurance.

Chicago Bears – Juaquin Iglesias WR – The Bears have Jay Cutler as QB and he loves speedy and tall receivers, Iglesias is your man. He will not be drafted in most leagues, but he needs to be. Cutler will be throwing the ball all over the place this season, get in early on Iglesias.

Cincinnati Bengals – Chase Coffman TE – Reggie Kelly is out for the year and Coffman will step into the starting role for the Bengals. He was drafted in the third round from Missouri and he was considered one of the best receiving tight ends in the draft. Carson Palmer is back and he needs a short option, since Cedric Benson can’t catch well, Coffman should receive a lot of looks.

Cleveland Browns – Steve Heiden – TE – Brady Quinn looks to be the starter in Cleveland and he loves his tight ends. When Quinn played last season, Kellen Winslow had nice games. Heiden has had a lot of injuries over his career, but he has good hands and will see the end zone this season.

Dallas Cowboys – Sam Hurd – WR – Hurd has been a “player to watch” the last few seasons, but he has dealt with injuries. Terrell Owens is in Buffalo now and Roy Williams is still getting used to Tony Romo, so Hurd may have a chance to gain some playing time this season. He would be an option in deep, deep leagues that need a receiver in later rounds.

Denver Broncos – Jabar Gaffney – WR – Josh McDaniels is the new coach in Denver and he has brought over some of his old New England Patriots receivers. Whomever the starting quarterback will be in Denver, Kyle Orton or Chris Simms, they will need a reliable possession receiver. Gaffney can get open and will receive a good number of chances to earn fantasy points.

Detroit Lions – Bryant Johnson – WR – The Lions need offense to win games this year, since their defense is made of swiss cheese. Calvin Johnson will be doubled often and Bryant Johnson is a capable receiver. Matthew Stafford or Daunte Culpepper will learn to love Bryant Johnson.

Green Bay Packers – Jordy Nelson WR – Nelson had a few flashes last season. Aaron Rodgers makes sure to keep an eye out for him. He could turn into a very good 3rd receiver for Green Bay. If Driver or Jennings goes down, he can pick up the slack.

Houston Texans – Rex Grossman QB – Matt Schaub is a good QB in the NFL, but he misses a few games every year. Dan Orlovsky is the other QB in Houston, but if Grossman can beat him out for the 2nd-string position, he could re-gain some value in the NFL. If only he could grow a few inches…

Indianapolis Colts – Austin Collie WR – Marvin Harrison isn’t in Indianapolis anymore, so all the receivers will be bumped up a spot, which leaves the 3rd receiver open to competition. Collie was a good receiver at BYU and is a much better long-term option than Roy Hall. Expect Collie to see some action early this season.

Jacksonville Jaguars – Chauncey Washington RB – Fred Taylor is in New England and Jacksonville is expecting that Maurice Jones-Drew to be their lone back this year. MJD is a good running back, but it’s a lofty goal for a back that small to last an entire season without missing some action. Washington could get some action when Jones-Drew needs a breather.

Kansas City Chiefs – Bobby Engram WR – Engram has had success wherever he has player and should have a decent year in KC. Matt Cassel proved himself last year and even if he falters, Tyler Thigpen did a good job last season. The ball should be in the air more with Cassel under center and Engram can rack up catches in a hurry.

Miami Dolphins – Patrick Turner WR – Miami’s receiving corps is average at best. Camarillo, Ginn, and Bess will not win any awards, so Turner could see some playing time this year. He’s a big target and Pennington could see a receiver with size.

Minnesota Vikings – Sidney Rice WR – Everyone has been waiting for Rice to have a big year, he probably won’t have one this season, but he’s worth a late-round gamble. The QB situation in Minnesota is bad, but if Sage Rosenfels wins the job, look for the Vikings to throw the ball more. Rice could be the winner in that case, but it is still to be determined.

New England Patriots – Laurence Maroney RB – Maroney was a first-round pick just two seasons ago, but his draft stock took a tumble with injuries and sharing carries with Sammy Morris and Kevin Faulk. Don’t count on Fred Taylor doing much, he’s old and fragile. Tom Brady is back and they should be throwing the ball more this year, but Maroney is too good of a back to be wasted. I expect him to see the end zone at least 6 or 7 times this year.

New Orleans Saints – P.J. Hill RB – Reggie Bush is not an every-down back and Pierre Thomas is still unknown. Hill was a great, punishing back at Wisconsin and should add some power in the backfield. He could vulture some touchdowns away at the very least.

New York Giants – Mario Manningham WR – Plaxico Burress was dumb and shot himself in the leg last year and he’s no longer on the Giants. Eli Manning needs a tall, deep threat to spread the defense out for Brandon Jacobs. Manningham can be the receiver they need, since the rest of the receiving corps are smaller possession receivers, Manningham could become a great asset for the Giants.

New York Jets – Brad Smith – WR – Chansi Stuckey and Jericho Cotchery will be catching most of the passes from Mark Sanchez this year, but this team lacks a 3rd receiver. Brad Smith has had limited success as a receiver, but this year could be his breakout season for the Jets.

Oakland Raiders – Johnnie Lee Higgins – WR – Higgins had some highlights last year and he’s very speedy. He could be the recipient of some deep balls from JaMarcus Russell. If Russell gets beat out by Jeff Garcia at any point this season, Higgins value could be hurt, since he doesn’t throw the deep ball much.

Philadelphia Eagles – LeSean McCoy – RB – Correll Buckhalter is no longer with the team and someone has to be there when Bryan Westbrook goes down at some point this year. The NFC East is too tough of a defensive division to think that he can stay healthy all year. McCoy was a stand-out in college and can be a difference maker in the NFL. He could see significant action this year.

Pittsburgh Steelers – Rashard Mendenhall – RB – Mendenhall is the heir apparent to Willie Paker, but he needs a healthy season under his belt before he can become a first or second round fantasy pick. Mendenhall could be a nice insurance pick if you own Parker. Look for him to at least get some scrub time at the end of the season if they are already locked into a playoff spot.

San Diego Chargers – Malcolm Floyd – WR – There aren’t too many fantasy sleeper option in San Diego. They are loaded with guys that deliver every year. Floyd could be a nice third or fourth option for Phillip Rivers. He’s tall and speedy, kind of like Chris Chambers.

San Francisco 49ers – Alex Smith – QB – I know what you’re thinking, c’mon man, Alex Smith?! He needed a change of scenery, he didn’t get it, but now he has Mike Singletary as his head coach. Mike Nolan didn’t have any clue how to groom Smith in his offense. If anyone is going to get through to Smith, Singletary will be the guy. Shaun Hill could end up with the starting job, but it’s a close race right now.

Seattle Seahawks – Seneca Wallace – QB – I think it’s the area of this post where I like back-up quarterback, due to starting QB injury concerns. Hasselbeck has had a good NFL career, but he is nearing the end. A smart bet would to have sign Michael Vick, but I doubt Jim Mora Jr. would have wanted him again. Wallace did a nice job filling in for Hasselbeck over the last few seasons.

St. Louis Rams – Kyle Boller – QB – I’m not sold on Marc Bulger anymore. He had two good seasons and he has hit a wall. Steve Spagnuolo will preach defense and ball-control, so the Rams offense should see better starting field position this year. Boller has been known to throw interceptions, but Bulger has been just as bad.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Michael Clayton – WR – Clayton isn’t really a traditional “sleeper,” but I expect him to have a great season this year. If Josh Freeman is the QB in Tampa Bay, Clayton will see a lot of looks. I predict a 1,000 yard receiving season for Clayton. Make sure you draft him in the mid-late rounds, if he’s still there.

Tenneessee Titans – Nate Washington – WR – All Tennessee needed last year was a dynamic receiver, Washington could be that player. He can stretch defenses with his deep threat ability, something they missed last year. Kerry Collins could fall in love with him by mid-season.

Washington Redskins – D.J. Hackett – WR – Santana Moss and Antwan Randle-EL are speed guys, but Hackett has both speed and better hands than either of them. He did a great job in Seattle and could end up being a nice pick up for Washington.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Fire Dusty Baker

I am finally going to take part in the whole blog stereotype by calling for someone’s job. I have yet to do it in all of my time as a blogger, but it needs to be done. Dusty Baker, the manager of the Cincinnati Reds, needs to be fired. To make it even more clear, I’m not even a Reds fan, not at all. I live in Columbus, OH, so I get every Reds game on Fox Sports Ohio, but I usually just watch them if they are playing the Cubs or I see a guy on my fantasy baseball team up to bat.

Dusty Baker is like Godzilla destroying the Reds, one pitcher at a time. Last season, a lot of the experts expected the Reds to have a good season. Their pitching staff was rated as one of the best, since they had young arms like Edinson Volquez and Johnny Cueto. The mood was high and every Reds fan was excited about the young arms and guys like Jay Bruce waiting in the minors waiting to be called up. Baker had success with the Giants and Cubs as the manager, even making it deep in the playoffs with both teams. After Baker left, it looked like a 100-foot lizard destroyed the entire franchise.

Let’s start with Baker’s destruction of young pitching. I would like to coin a word and say the “Bakerification” of a pitcher, which would be the utter and total annihilation of a young pitcher’s career. In San Francisco, Baker the only elite pitching prospect that the Giants had while he was manager was Shawn Estes. He was teh 11th overall pick in the 1991 MLB amateur draft. He made his pro debut in ’95, and had a great year in ’97 (19-5 3.18 ERA). He had a good 2 1/2 year run as an elite pitcher, but he fell off the face of the earth. Except one decent year in Colorado, he has bounced around as a 5th or spot starter. Baker used him and pushed him over 200 innings and kept him in games in which they were behind by a large number of runs.

In Chicago he had a full plate of young pitching prospects. Kerry Wood and Mark Prior being the best two young pitchers the Cubs had seen since Greg Maddux. They had high expectations and were going to be a great #1 and #2 starters for a long time. After the 2003 season, both pitchers were never the same. They have missed complete seasons each and have had a laundry list of arm problems. Prior hasn’t really pitched in the big leagues since and Wood was converted to a closer, but not as dominant as he once was (he is a closer for Cleveland and has a 4.72 ERA this season). The lone young pitcher that seems to be standing after the Baker era in Chicago is Carlos Zambrano. I think there must be some truth to the rumors that he is actually a zombie.

This all circles back to the present-day Cincinnati Reds. It was announced last week that Edinson Volquez underwent Tommy John surgery and could miss the entire next season, as well as the rest of this season. To add more fuel to the fire, Johnny Cueto has had arm troubles this season and he’s now injured with a hip injury. Bronson Arroyo and Aaron Harang both had great season a few seasons before Baker became skipper, but the last two years they have been horrible. You can’t blame run support for their losses, since they have been sporting ERA around 5.00. So it’s not only the young pitchers who are prone to “Bakerification.”

You can’t blame GM Walk Jocketty for sticking with Dusty Baker. He was the man who hired Tony LaRussa in St. Louis, so he likes guys with winning experience. I think it’s time to let Baker go and find a man himself. The former GM Wayne Krivsky hired Baker as a last-ditch effort to save his job, kind of a desperate man’s final meal. He needed to make a splash, but he clearly had no plan for the future of the club. He was hoping that Baker could catch lightning in a bottle, but I think he more or less caught something else that needs some penicillin to clear up.

Once again, I would like to reiterate that I am not a Reds fan, I’m a Cubs fan, but I would like to see them competitive again. I have the same feeling about the Pirates too, but if both of those franchises ever get to a point where they are actually contending for the NL Central, I may not be too pleased. The Reds need to be blown up and get rid of guys like Harang and Arroya and build around some guys like Bruce, Joey Votto, Brandon Phillips, and future-star Yonder Alonso. The start this process, fire Dusty Baker!

10 ESPN Personalities That You Never Want To See In A Peephole Video

Perverts around the world have been attacking Google this week in hopes of find the infamous Erin Andrews nude peephole video. I have already argued my point in a previous post that this is wrong and I hope that they find the person that did it. It was a pretty serious post and I’m not a guy who is very serious. I started thinking about other ESPN personalities who would cause such a frenzy if something like this happened again. It was a short list, but my list of people who should never, ever have a peephole video, was much bigger. Here are 10 ESPN personalities that you never want to see in a nude peephole video.

Jon Miller – He calls the marquee baseball games with Joe Morgan on ESPN. He has a great voice that is made for radio and a not necessarily something that I would want to see on my television. If he ever appeared in a peephole video, please cancel my cable internet.

Holly Rowe – She is a sideline reporter for ESPN. She basically has the same job as Erin Andrews, but she covers the C-list game on ESPN. You can normally see her during the Wyoming vs. Idaho State football games on ESPN2.

Mike Golic – Golic is one-half of the duo on “Mike and Mike In the Morning” on ESPN Radio and appears on NFL Live. I know he has lost 22 pounts on the Nutri-system diet, but he needs to eat less pot roast and more vegetables.

John Clayton – It’s hard to believe, but he is a football guy at ESPN. The angle in the picture is about the only angle that you get to see him at. My theory is that he is actually a 2-D figure. Dan Patrick, formerly of ESPN, jokes around that he has a pony-tail. I kind of hope that is true and if that is the case, is that a sign of Armageddon? If John Clayton was in a peephole video, it would probably look like a 8-bit Nintendo game.

Chris Berman – His voice is one of the most recognizable voices in sports television. He also has one of the best comb-overs in the entire industry. If Berman had a peephole video, I would envision that he would end up doing the play-by-play of it. He could even give his “boys” some sort of nickname that would reference some late 70’s funk band. The picture above is about all the nation can endure of Berman’s body.

Dana Jacobson – She might be best known for her drunken appearance at the Mike & Mike roast awhile back. She also hosts ESPN’s “First Take” in the morning, I don’t watch that show much since I can’t stand her or Skip Bayless. Jacobson looks like a mix between Chyna and Cybill Shepherd, and I’m not a fan of either. I guess I would rather see a Skip Bayless video more than one of her, what does this say about me? Yikes, what a scary thought.

Bob Ley – He has been with ESPN since the beginning and he looks nearly identical from when he started. I think he looks a bit like Peter Griffin, if he was a real person. I wouldn’t want a Bob Ley peephole video, because I fear that he would do a 10-piece “Outside The Line” feature about it. I would not want to see that on a loop for any period of time.

John Kruk – I could do with the easy joke here and but I can’t, too simple. Kruk appears on “Baseball Tonight” and his analysis goes in slumps and so does his hair (I had to throw that in there, Sports Hernia). I would expect Kruk to had random crumbs of Doritos spread all around his body. His skin could be permanently dyed orange from the nacho cheese flavoring.

Mike Ditka – Mike Ditka was a great coach, but now he’s a football analyst for ESPN. He can go off on tangents that never lead you to anywhere, much like this blog. A Ditka peephole video would do well in Chicago, but not so much in New Orleans. I would think that he still has his Bears v-neck on at all times, so maybe the video wouldn’t be too revealing.

Tony Kornheiser – He is one of the hosts of “Pardon The Interruption” on ESPN. He was also in the booth during “Monday Night Football,” but that experiment ended when he didn’t want to do it anymore, or so he wants us to believe. A peephole video for Kornheiser would be awful and I would put odds that he is either wearing a hat or holding up one of those faces on a stick. Scratch that, he would probably be doing the penguin dance.

There is my list, for some reason Skip Bayless and Colin Cowherd didn’t make the list. I can’t explain that, but hopefully one of these guys gets the bump from ESPN and they make the top 10. Any other ESPN personalities that should make the list?

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A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

Erin Andrews Video Photos Turns NY Post Writer Into A Virgin Blogger

The NY Post turned into a poor man’s blog today. They wrote a story that publicized the pervert that took pictures of Erin Andrews’ naked in a hotel room. I will not put a link to their story on my blog, since they did an insufficient job at writing the story and with censoring the photos. The photos, which are blurry and crude, have black boxes over areas that they couldn’t print due to nudity. One of the photos, a full body shot, is so poorly censored that you could clearly see her backside, since the black box is a small, thin box that censors very little.

I know the NY Post isn’t exactly the Wall Street Journal, but they should be held to higher standards. They clearly look at Google Trends and realize that the terms “Erin Andrews” and “Aaron Andrews” (a misspelling of her name) were both the top trends at one point yesterday and most of the weekend. I am guessing that the writer, Andy Soltis, who works for the Post Wire Service, went to journalism school. I don’t want to put down bloggers, since I am one and a lot of my collegues are great people, but The Post is acting like a blog who’s fishing for hits. “The Erin Andrews Rule” is when you post something about her, you will see a little spike in traffic. Nearly every major sports blog or “pretty girl blog” has a post just declaring how beautiful she is. The posts usually contains pictures of her on the sideline from curious point-of-views.

I am a writer who took many journalism classes in college. I know a little more than the basics when it comes to decent journalism practices. I understand that this is turning into a major story and once it becomes something that your readers want to know about, you must inform the readers. I don’t have a problem with them writing a story about the photos, but publishing them they way that they did, was distasteful.

I think everyone who write for a blog would one day like to write for a major print publication or be in some other media. The NY Post makes me never want to read a newspaper again. I feel sorry for Erin Andrews and her family, she seems like a nice lady who just wants to do her job. I will never subjugate her as a sex symbol on my blog, I feel that she has already went through enough.

The NY Post should be ashamed and I hope that anyone who is upset about the photos being published will cancel their subscription. I hope this story goes away and whomever took the video/photos is prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

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A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.