I know what you’re thinking, the title of this post should be, “Miami Dolphins to Appear on HBO’s ‘Hard Knocks‘ Because Every Other NFL Team Turned HBO Down.” Yeah, that sounds about right.
When you look at the Miami Dolphins roster, you see Reggie Bush and a lot of guys with unknown personalities. Who knows, these guys could be funny and show a lot of heart. The saddest part is they got rid of the most watchable and unpredictable player in the NFL, Brandon Marshall. C’mon, that guy would have given me so much comedy material!
Here are some of the possible story lines we will see on this season’s “Hard Knocks”.
– The Dolphins will allow Chris Bosh, Lebron James, and Dwyane Wade to suit up for a few practices. I can see Brian Windhorst covering that for ESPN’s laughable ‘Heat Index.”
– Reggie Bush is no longer dating Kim Kardashian, that is old news. He is currently dating her stunt-double, Melissa Molinaro. HBO will make sure to have the cameras on her quite a bit. Look below and pick which one is Kardashian and which one is Molinaro.
– David Garrard can tell the story about how 10 of the worst teams wanted to sign him last season, but he waited until the last minute to have surgery.
– Everyone FINALLY gets to know the answer to ” Is Joe Philbin related to Regis?”
– We get to know Vernon Davis’ unstable brother, Vontae.
– Karlos Dansby will do an impression of Kurt Warner at least five times during “Hard Knocks”.
– Anthony Fasano will finally admit that Brady Quinn is currently sleeping on his couch.
– A poutine eating contest will be officiated by former Canadian Football League player Cameron Wake.
– Jake Long will lead us to the place where Mike Hart’s career is buried. (Hint: It is in Ann Arbor)
– Richard Marshall tells his teammates that he’s Brandon, since Brandon told half of his teammates that he was either Richard or Mandingo for most of the season.
– Legedu Naanee hosts a team Spelling Bee.
– Mike Pouncey, Will Barker, and Nate Garner will go shirtless until everyone pays them $1,000. If that goes well, they will go nude until a rookie pokes their eyes out. That is what the veterans call the classic “Darwinian Cut.”
– The shell of Steve Slaton pretends that he can still play football.
– Finally, the team has a scavenger hunt with Reggie Bush’s Heisman trophy as the only item listed. (The scavenger hunt was sponsored by all of the past Heisman winners)
A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.
The Houston Texans are currently featured on HBO’s “Hard Knocks”, so a lot of eyes are watching them this preseason. The show usually brings a ton of undeserving expectations to whichever team appears on the program. Actually, very few teams that have been on the show went on to make the playoffs that season. It still doesn’t stop people from expecting big things.
