Category Archives: college football

2009 College Football – All-Name Team

Not everyone can have the last name ‘Manning’ or ‘Montana’, some of us have to go through life with a pretty ridiculous name. Most of these names are pretty rough to grow up with, but some are names you wish you may have, especially if you are named something bland like Joe Smith or Bobby Roberts.

H.B. Banjoman – RB – Eastern Kentucky

Taylor Elmo – RB – Idaho

Boogie McCray – RB Louisville

Willy Korn – QB – Clemson

Ras-I Dowling – CB – Virginia

David Wang – G – Virginia Tech

Boo Jackson – QB – Ohio

Nathan Dick – QB – Central Arkansas

Buddy Bardenwerper – RB – Harvard

Terrence Bobo – RB – Central Arkansas

Rashod Bumpers – RB – Bucknell

Major Gray – RB – Souther Utah

SirChauncey Holloway – RB – Harvard

Tyrel Kool – RB – South Dakota State

Kingjack Washington – RB – Missouri State

Chizzy Dimude – RB – Hawaii

Jock Sanders – RB – West Virginia

Mookie Asaad – WR – Southern Miss

Nick Toon – WR – Wisconsin

Hans Broman – WR – Drake

Nick Liquori – WR – Sacred Heart

Thor Brown – TE – North Dakota State

Ben Bologna – K – Princeton

Mister Cobble – LB – Kentucky

Stash McGuiness – OL – Cal-Poly

Dirk Kool – LB – South Dakota State

Heath Cockburn – G – Furman

T-Bob Hebert – C – LSU
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Ohio State Football – Rebuilding Year?

I have lived in Columbus, OH for three years and this will be my fourth football season that I will experience here. My first year here was when Ohio State played Michigan as the #1 vs. #2 teams in the country. Since it was a home game, this town was completely nuts. I couldn’t even use my cell phone, since so many people crammed into the city for the game. This year’s team is by far the worst Ohio State team in the last four season, even if die-hard Buckeye fans won’t admit it.

A lot of hype will surround Columbus on September 12th. The USC Trojans come here to play Ohio State, but both teams will only be a skeleton of themselves. USC and OSU lost most of their starters and will still be getting used to each other by the time they play. Ohio State is expecting a break-out season from Terelle Pryor, but they will definitely miss Chris Wells. Boom Herron and Brandon Saine will do their best to duplicate the impact Beanie had on move the chains, but it will be a huge task. Pryor may have to use his feet to gain yards, even more than last year. They also lose Brian Robiskie and Brian Hartline to graduation/draft, two veteran targets will be missed. Dan Sanzenbacher and DeVier Posey will be the go-to receivers and if Ray Small can develop any offensive game, they may start to click by the time Big Ten season begins.

The defensive side of the ball could be the Buckeyes best attribute. I am looking for a big year from safety Kyle Coleman. I’m not saying that ’cause I’m friends with his brother and have met him on many occassions, he’s a great safety and is a playmaker. He will have to make plays in the secondary, since Malcolm Jenkins is no longer out there to intercept passes. They won’t miss Donald Washington, since he didn’t do much in college, but was still drafted early in the NFL Draft. They will miss James Laurenitis and Marcus Freeman from their linebacking corpse. Tyler Moeller, Ross Homan, and Austin Spitler will have to mature in a hurry. Luckily for them, when they play USC, they will be breaking in a new QB.

Ohio State is either a 10-2 or a 9-3 team this year. Their losses will be at the hands of USC and Penn State. The bubble loss could come against Illinois, they had a bad year last season, but Ron Zook has recruited well the last two seasons. You would think that those players will have to mature this season. The Big Ten is down again this year and a 10-2 or 9-3 season could land them in the Rose Bowl, if Penn State is playing for the National Championship. I think Penn State will have a good team, it just depends how down the Big Ten really is. If they lose one game this year, it could knock them down pretty far in the polls and a weak Big Ten schedule would make it hard to make a jump up.

I know that I am going to get grilled by Ohio State fans, since they are extremely rabid and passionate. A 10-2 or 9-3 season wouldn’t be a bad season for this team. They are very young and it is something that they could build upon for the 2010-11 season. If Ohio State could pull off a win against USC, then the season could change and they could yet again be vying for a spot in the BCS Championship game. A lot will be determined by the game on September 12th, but which team will fall down to normal expectations and which team will be catapulted into the elite.
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Tim Tebow Is A Virgin

If anyone is shocked that Tebow is a virgin, I have some land to sell you. He is a devout Christian and off the field, he has the manners of a nobleman. During the SEC Media Day, a random reporter shouted out the question, “Are you a virgin?” and Tebow responded with “Yes, I am.” He chuckled initially, but are you surprised? He wants to be a preacher and has the charm to be a politician. He was on the Dan Patrick Show earlier today and he said “Sir” after every answer. He goes on mission trip to help circumcise 3rd-world children, he’s like Mother Teresa with shoulder pads. Continue reading

The Irish Must Be Drunk

After losing to Boston College 17-0 last week, the only positive news about Charlie Weis and Notre Dame came from the Athletic Director with the deadly “vote of confidence.” I can’t remember the last time I heard so much negative press about Notre Dame, oh wait, last week! Charlie Weis is approaching the Tyrone Willingham range at Notre Dame and is approaching Bob Davie range.

As you read this post, I would like to like everyone know that I am a Notre Dame fan, but I am rational. My hometown is less than an hour away from South Bend and all my friends back home have been suicidal the last two seasons. I have lived in Columbus, OH the last three football seasons and it’s amazing to live in a city that could possibly be more insane about college football than Notre Dame fans, 9 out of 10 cars in this city have some sort of Brutus or Buckeye decal in the window or personalized license plate. I need to figure out why Notre Dame is so bad and try and debunk some of the “theories” why Notre Dame looks like a team full of Rudys. Here are some of the theories and my rebuttal.

Five-Star recruits go to colleges with warm weather. I do admit that this theory has some weight to it, but still not true. Elite players go to warmer weather to play in the SEC, Big 12, and USC. Notre Dame recruited Jimmy Clausen, Golden Tate, and Michael Floyd, players that were highly-recruited and would garner playing time on many top 25 teams in the country. I’m not sure that warm weather is the only reason they choose those places, most likely reason is that they want to be on a winning and competitive program. I can also add that the weather in South Bend, IN and Columbus, OH are comparable and Ohio State still recruits a top-ten class every year. Columbus may be maybe five degrees warmer with a little less snow, but the city itself helps recruits players to OSU. South Bend wouldn’t exist of Notre Dame wasn’t there, it’s solely dependent on the university to maintain the city, the same cannot be said for Columbus, OH.

The schedule is too difficult at Notre Dame. Over the last few seasons, the schedule at Notre Dame has slowly looked more like a non-conference schedule at North Dakota St. If you add teams like North Carolina, Duke, Syracuse, and Washington and you subtract games against Ohio State, Georgia Tech, BYU, and Penn State, you will win more games. Even if Notre Dame went 11-1 this season with their only loss coming against USC, they wouldn’t even be in the top 10 in the BCS with their weak schedule. You could argue that dumbing down the schedule at Notre Dame could hurt recruiting, since their not playing against the same caliber of teams as past Notre Dame squads.
Notre Dame needs a new coach. Really? You think you could get a better coach than Charlis Weis? I think Notre Dame fans have amnesia. The last two coaching searches held by Notre Dame came with about denials each and one coach who they canned after the press conference for a botched resume. No one wants to coach at Notre Dame. I’m sure they would try and go after Mike Leach, Jon Gruden (for the third time), Turner Gill, Bob Stoops, and maybe even Brady Hoke from Ball State, but would end up with the Offensive Coordinator at some SEC team that wouldn’t get any other coaching offers. I know whatever is going on at Notre Dame is broken, but starting all over again isn’t always the answer. I would give Coach Weis the rest of this season and the next, if things aren’t improved, I think he should be canned. An improvement would be a top 20 BCS ranking, not a BCS bowl game kind of an improvement like most Notre Dame fans would be looking for.

Here is my theory to help Notre Dame restore its former glory. Notre Dame needs to join a conference. The Big Ten would love to add Notre Dame, even though Notre Dame’s loyalty for all other sports would be Big East, but Big East football is barely above the Sun Belt in ability. Notre Dame lacks rivalries that help draw excitement. The USC rivalry is an historically great rivalry, but to be a rival, the games have to be competitive. The only competitive USC/Notre Dame the last ten years was the game that ended with “The Bush Push.” Notre Dame already plays Michigan, Michigan State, and Purdue every year, but with Ohio State so close and with some great match-ups over the last twenty years between the schools, it could help create/restore a rivalry. Notre Dame have always seen itself as the “top dog” in college football and even has its own rules in the BCS when it comes to BCS bowl games, but it’s time to put its ego aside and do what’s best for the program.

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Pray For Dante Love

I was watching the game against Indiana and Ball State on the Big Ten Network on Saturday night and it was turning into a really entertaining game. Nate Davis and Dante Love were looking good and were looking forward to getting the school’s first ever victory over a BCS team. Everything went from great to scary in the 2nd quarter.

Love caught a pass from Davis for a short gain, Love put his helmet down to get a few extra yards when the Indiana cornerback did the same and they collided helmet to helmet. Love instantly lost the ball and his whole body went limp. Indiana picked up the ball and went in for the touchdown, but no one really cared. Love laid lifeless near the sideline. He stayed there for over 15 minutes while the medical staff attended to him, they even called his parents from the stands to be with him. They took unscrewed the facemask off his helmet and put him on a board. As they took him off the field on a golfcart he never moved, not even a thumbs up from the crowd that most hoped for. They took him to a hospital in Bloomington and then they transferred him to Methodist Hospital in Indianapolis.

Ball State ended up winning this game and instead of an upbeat press conference after the game, Brady Hoke, Ball State’s head coach, said a short statement and went to see his star wide-receiver at the hospital. There wasn’t any word from the university after the game about Love other than he felt “tingling and numbness.”

This afternoon more about Love’s injuries came out, he is lucky to be alive. He underwent five-hour back surgery to stabilize a cervical spinal fracture. He is said to be moving arms and legs and is currently in the critical care unit.

I went to college at Ball State for a year, I loved the school, but didn’t fit what I needed at the time. The football program has never done anything at all. The most famous Ball State alumni that went onto the NFL is a punter, if that tells you anything. Dante Love is a huge reason for the recent success that Ball State has seen over the last three years. No word if this ends his potential pro career, but that isn’t important at the moment. He needs to focus on getting better and hopefully he doesn’t have any complications from this injury in the future. I hope the best for Love and for all his friends and family who needs everyone’s support right now.

Get well soon Dante Love.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

2008 College Football – All-Name Team

Not everyone can have the last name ‘Manning’ or ‘Montana’, some of us have to go through life with a pretty ridiculous name. Most of these names are pretty rough to grow up with, but some are names you wish you may have, especially if you are named something bland like Joe Smith or Bobby Roberts.

YourHighNess Morgan – LB – Florida Atlantic
H.B. Banjoman – RB – Eastern Kentucky
Casey Dick – QB – Arkansas
Chris Smelley – QB – South Carolina
Cooter Arnold – WR – North Carolina
Baccari Rambo – DB – Georgia
Sam Spitz – FB – Wisconsin
Mighty Inyang – DB – Houston
Chubb Small – RB – Marshall
Caleb Dyck – RB – Alabama-Birmingham
Kaipo-Noa Kaheaku-Enhada – QB – Navy
Stash McGuiness – OL – Cal Poly
Mike Lougee – LB – Iona
Dirk Kool – LB – South Dakota State
Heath Cockburn – G – Furman
Jeff Dickmann – CB – UCLA
T-Bob Hebert – C – Louisiana State
Fitz Bobo – WR – Miami (OH)
Prince Moody – DB – Wisconsin
Dane Cook – S – Ball State
Ryan Succup – K – South Carolina
Joker Phillips – Offensive Coordinator – Kentucky

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.