What makes a great college football name?
A good litmus test is if it works as a potential pro wrestling name, it works in college football.
We went through all the teams in the top two divisions in the NCAA. We read every name and picked out the ones that were funny and names we just wish we had.
My name is Bobby Roberts, so of all the people who can write a post poking fun at names, it’s me. I’m always asked if my real name is Robert Roberts (it’s not) or if my name is fake.
Here is the 2016-17 college football All-Name team.
If you want to read any of our past ‘All-Name Team’ posts from previous years, you can find them here.
Lion King – DL – Eastern Michigan Eagles
Lane Knows His Gun – G – Montana State Bobcats
Weston Steelhammer – CB – Air Force Falcons
Jamie Sackville – P – SMU Mustangs
Gunner Kiel – QB – Cincinnati Bearcats
Stone Hart – DT – Harvard Crimson
Ivy Wall – P – Southeastern Louisiana Lions
Brandon Brokeshoulder – LB – Central Arkansas Bears
Hunter Bedgood – RB – Northwestern State Demons
Messiah Rice – OL – East Carolina Pirates
Christian Slaughter – DB – Memphis Tigers
Sheldrick Redwine – CB – Miami Hurricanes
Bug Howard – WR – North Carolina Tar Heels
Divine Deablo – WR – Virginia Tech Hokies
Fish Smithson – S – Kansas Jayhawks
Sam Walkingstick – LS – Oklahoma State Cowboys
Lil’Jordan Humphrey – WR – Texas Longhorns
Camaron Cheeseman – LS – Michigan Wolverines
Jack Popp – WR – Wisconsin Badgers
E.J. Ejiya – LB – North Texas Mean Green
Cru Birdyshaw – OL – Southern Mississippi Golden Eagles
Gibby Gibson – CB – Army Black Knights
Squally Canada – RB – BYU Cougars
Handsome Tanielu – DL – BYU Cougars
Maximilian Thrower – TE – Northern Illinois Huskies
Josh Lovingood – DL – Colorado State Rams
Manly Williams – DL – Hawaii Rainbow Warriors
Pookie Maka – LB – Colorado Buffaloes
Hercules Mata’afa – DE – Washington State Cougars
Younghoe Koo – K – Georgia Southern Eagles
Ironhead Gallon – LB – Georgia Southern Eagles
Cougar Coburn – K – Idaho State Bengals
Rock Ya-Sin – CB – Presbyterian College Blue Hose
CJ Toogood – OL – Elon Phoenix
Power Kanga – CB – Rhode Island Rams
Ascension Vela – LB – Arkansas-Pine Bluff Golden Lions
The Toilet Humor All-Stars
Tajee Fullwood – CB – South Florida Bulls
Isiah Smallwood – DE – Florida State Seminoles
Sam Sizelove – LB – Kansas State Jayhawks
Hunter Littlejohn – OL – Indiana Hoosiers
Jake Butt – TE – Michigan Wolverines
Richie Worship – RB – Purdue Boilermakers
Matt Smallbone – DL – Miami (OH) Redhawks
Nick Chubb – RB – Georgia Bulldogs
Chuby Dunu – RB – Cal Poly Mustangs
The Nepotism Team
Brian Dawkins Jr. – CB – Clemson Tigers
Lawrence Dawsey Jr. – CB – Florida State Seminoles
Vincent Testaverde – QB – Miami Hurricanes
Jaye Stackhouse – S – North Carolina Tar Heels
Barry Sanders Jr. – RB – Oklahoma State Cowboys
Jeff George Jr. – QB – Illinois Fighting Illini
Hardy Nickerson Jr. – LB – Illinois Fighting Illini
Tyrone Wheatley Jr. – TE – Michigan Wolverines
Antoine Winfield Jr. – CB – Minnesota Golden Gophers
Stanley Morgan Jr. – WR – Nebraska Cornhuskers
Koy Detmer Jr. – QB – BYU Cougars
Torii Hunter Jr. – WR – Notre Dame Fighting Irish
Jesse Bongiovi – CB – Notre Dame Fighting Irish
Reggie White Jr. – WR – Monmouth Hawks
Ray Buchanan Jr. – CB – Northern Iowa Panthers
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About the Author…
Bobby Roberts (otherwise known as Sweetbob) is the creator of ‘America’s White Boy’ and contributor at Project Shanks. His writing has been featured on ESPN’s ‘SportsNation’, Sports Illustrated’s Hot Clicks, Guyspeed, and various other sites. You can follow him on Twitter at @Sweetbob.