Category Archives: joe pasquali

NHL Talk: Ryan Miller, NKOTB & the Blue Jackets

Two hockey guys talking hockey.

I believe there was as much ice on my car this morning  than a Zamboni could produce. I don’t own a pair of hockey skates, so I had to go old school and use an ice scraper.

Joe Pasquali and Eddie Theisen are two diehard NHL fans. They both watch every hockey game every night (almost). Neither have a girlfriend. This is their email conversation the following morning.

If you’re a fan of the Columbus Blue Jackets, please disregard most of this conversation…we’ve suffered enough. #BringBackHitch

Final scores from 1/31/13

Buffalo 7, Boston 4
Toronto 3, Washington 2
New York Islanders 5, New Jersey 4 F/OT
Pittsburgh 3, New York Rangers 0
St. Louis 4, Columbus 1
Florida 6, Winnipeg 3
Colorado 6, Calgary 3
Los Angeles 2, Nashville 1 F/SO
San Jose 3, Edmonton 2 F/SO

About last night…

Pasquali: January ended with a bang in the NHL world. We had a great night of games, though there has to be some goalies waking up with hurt feelings this morning.

Theisen: I think it’s safe to say you mean Tuukka Rask is pretty butt hurt from Thomas Vanek last night

Pasquali: Vanek went nuts last night! The third goal he had was the best. Last night you called him a Bruin killer, and he lived up to the title.

Thomas Vanek’s hat trick vs. Boston Bruins 1/31/13

Theisen: An overlooked player in that game, even though he gave up 4, was Ryan Miller. He made some huge saves in that game when it mattered

Pasquali: Yeah, Miller was Miller once again for Buffalo. Big and timely saves, especially in the third when Boston was throwing everything at him.

Besides Rask being “butt hurt”, we saw 6 other teams give up at least 4 goals last night. Lots of lamps getting lit.

Theisen: Well, we definitely know that none of them are by Phil Kessel. Even missed an empty net against the Caps with 10 seconds left.

Pasquali: In his defense Kessel got robbed a few times, but yeah he couldn’t find the net last night. Toronto thoroughly dominated that game, giving them their first home win of the year. If it wasn’t for Neuvirth stopping 37 shots, Capitals would have got blown out.

Theisen: The Maple Leafs did deserve the win, had twice as many scoring opportunities and way more quality chances. James Van Riemsdyk started the season out very dismal for the Leafs, but ever since head coach Randy Carlyle called him out for not playing hard enough, he’s put up 4 goals. He has even has earned unit 1 power play time as their man in front of the net.

Pasquali: If you put together the USA Olympic team to play a game tomorrow, is James van Riemsdyk on your squad?

Theisen: I would have to say it’s a coin toss, he could be on the USA’s fourth line, but I’d still give Kessel the nod right now even though he’s in a slump. I guess if Ryan Callahan was still injured there may be a spot for JVR on the roster. Very doubtful he’ll be on the USA squad in 2014 though.

Pasquali: JVR can flat out fly. When he is on he is really fun to watch. Oh, congrats on your upset pick. Preds get their first shootout win of the season; they were 0-3 before last night in the “skills competition”. Shootout had some great goals, but the game was a snooze fest.

Theisen: Yeah, after each team tallied a goal in the first, the game slowed down considerably and there weren’t a lot of great scoring chances either. Then again, you do have last year’s Conn Smythe winner Jonathan Quick and 2nd year in a row Vezina runner-up Pekka Rinne in net. It is hard to say the Preds were an “under dog” pick though with 3 OT losses. They could easily but at the top of the West with some better fortune.

Pasquali: Good pick nonetheless. My Blue Jackets pick sure looked stupid. Freaking Columbus…

Theisen: I though the Jackets had a comeback in them when the Blues put up 3 in the first… but that may have just been me.

Pasquali: You and the hundreds in attendance at Nationwide. Bobrovsky got pulled after letting in a few soft ones, and Mason came in to shut it down. Credit to the Bluejackets, they played hard all game. So… that’s something.

Theisen: In my opinion, Jared Boll was the best Blue Jacket on the ice last night for them. Everyone else seemed uninspired and lethargic…I would be too with 337 people in the crowd every night.

Pasquali: Haha, okay we really need to stop with the Jackets hate. Bobby, the runner of our blog, is a CBJ fan. Yes, a real one.

(*editor’s note* – Yep!)

Theisen: I know three Blue Jackets fans, which seems like three too many.

Pasquali: Two teams ended long road trips with much needed wins last night. Colorado had a big third period to coast past Calgary, and the Islanders topped the Devils in what I think was the second best game of the night (to BUF/BOS).

Theisen: Colorado seemed to find their groove last night after starting out a bit rough against Calgary, even without All-Star captain Gabriel Landeskog. The Devils and Islanders put up a shootout out of nowhere. The game was completely back and forth and just came down to the Islanders Power Play when Brad Boyes scored on a scramble in front of the net. I still don’t expect the Isles to do much this year.

Pasquali: But you got to admit the Islanders are actually fun to watch. We haven’t been able to say that since….

Theisen: Since 1983?

Pasquali: Yeah, sounds about right. What was your favorite goal of the night?

Theisen: I’d have to say there are two that tie in my opinion and they were both from the Bruins vs. Sabres game. Brad Marchand’s dangle in the second to take the lead was maybe the best goal of the year, and also Thomas Vanek’s silencer late in the 3rd was “Very Dirty”. A close runner-up was Calgary’s Jiri Hudler with a great tic-tac-toe goal from Cervenka and Stajan in the second period of their game.

Brad Marchand Undress Tyler Myers and Scores 1/31/13

Pasquali: All great picks. But I have to go with Huberdeau goal in the Panthers game. That AMAZZZING Panthers game. It was crazy.

Theisen: Yeah, I mean you had to think Huberdeau purposely fell and then let the puck bank about 3 times off Winnipeg players and in. Some Jedi mind tricks.

Pasquali: OK, maybe it was luck. But that goal was SUCH a Florida Panther’s goal. Chaos, luck, and then mild excitement.

Theisen: The rats had fun at BankAtlantic Center, I know that much.

Pasquali: By the way, in trying to find the Huberdeau goal online, I found this other Huberdeau video of him wearing a dumbass hat. Best part, is this video on YouTube had 0 views. Zero. I was the first person to view it. It’s been up for like 2 weeks, how is that possible?

Jonathan Huberdeau Loves His Stupid Hat

Theisen: Because it’s the Florida Panthers haha.

Pasquali: I mean the guy who posted that video had to at least have watched it. Or Huberdeau’s mom or something.

Theisen: Haha you’d think.

Pasquali: OK, we have to talk about the Florida Panther’s broadcast team of Steve Goldstein and Bill Lindsay… What the hell?

Theisen: Oh, you mean that flipping the puck into the crowd from the other team’s blue line isn’t delay of game?

Pasquali: He was so excited for a possible Panther’s power play he forgot the rules of the game.. That or his mind is on NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK WITH BOYZ 2 MEN AND 98 DEGREES COMING TO THE BANKATLANTIC CENTER OMGZ.

The 90’s exploded in this picture, but where’s Eric Lindros?

Theisen: Like I said last night, I think everyone in attendance was just camping out for the concert and had no idea that a hockey game was taking place.

Pasquali: Penguins went into New York and got a surprise win. Tomas Vokoun had a great night and got the shutout. Both teams really needed the win, but the Rangers just looked flat.

Theisen: Yeah, with the exception of Rick Nash, the Rangers didn’t look hungry enough against an elite team in the East and Atlantic rival. The Penguins now have to seriously start looking at Vokoun for more starts. Fleury has been a little shaky this year (what else is new) and I could see Vokoun earning more starts with that performance last night.

Pasquali: He was really solid, and has been his whole career. The Pittsburgh goalie situation will be an interesting storyline over the coming weeks.

Theisen: Looks like us talking up San Jose yesterday had no impact on them getting steamrolled, Joe. Still undefeated and still making a case for best team in the West… do they pass the Blackhawks now in your opinion?

Pasquali: I guess they have to; they don’t have anything in the L column. Both goalies were good in regulation (Niemi and Bubnyk) but Niemi stepped up in the shootout and blanked both shooters he faced. Also, Handzus has become one of the best shootout artists in the game. Dude is 18-34 for his career and 7-12 as a Shark.

Shootout – Edmonton Oilers vs. San Jose Sharks (January 31st, 2013)

Theisen: He is one of the more underrated shootout men in the league, along with Jussi Jokinen. The Oilers are looking like they could be a playoff team this year, even with all this young talent. You think they’ll crack the top eight in the West?

Pasquali: Tough call, I think they have a great shot. I would put them right around the 8-10 spot as we go through the season. Right now they are on top of Northwest Division! But, you’d have to think Minnesota or Vancouver will win the NW in the end. I hope Edmonton sticks around. Great fans.

Theisen: I’d have to say Vancouver takes the Northwest and Minnesota being a close second at the end of the year. Not sure if Edmonton has it in them this year. Goaltending may be an issue down the stretch.

Pasquali: Well, we got seven games to enjoy tonight. The two games I am most looking forward to are both in the Western Conference. Can Detroit bounce back from the 6-0 drubbing the Blues gave them on opening night? And Chicago going to Vancouver should be fast, fun, and violent.

Theisen: The best game of the night is by far the Blackhawks vs. Canucks. The second best game I’d have to go with the Wild vs. the Ducks. See if Anaheim is for real this year by beating another elite roster in the West.

Pasquali: If you were a Winnipeg player and you were on your Florida road trip, how could you get back on a plane and fly back to Canada? Knowing that New Kids on the Block are coming soon.

Theisen: I don’t know, how do you put a price on seeing Mark Wahlberg’s brother?

Joe’s Predictions (3-6 so far)

Flyers over Capitals
Lightning over Jets
Wings over Blues
Coyotes over Stars
Senators over Hurricanes
Hawks over Canucks
Ducks over Wild

Eddie’s Predictions (4-5 so far)

Flyers over Capitals
Lightning over Jets
Blues over Wings
Stars over Coyotes
Senators over Hurricanes
Canucks over Hawks
Ducks over Wild

By: TwitterButtons.com

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

NHL Talk: Yakupov’s OT Goal, Jackie Moon & Logan Couture

Two hockey guys talking hockey

It’s hard to have a site called America’s White Boy without covering a sport where most players look like an average person in street clothes.

If this goes well, I may need to start a sister site, Canada’s White Boy. I would need a maple syrup sponsor or a lifetime supply of Tim Horton’s “Timbits”…so it probably won’t happen.

Joe Pasquali and Eddie Theisen are two diehard NHL fans. They both watch every hockey game every night (almost). Neither have a girlfriend. This is their email conversation the following morning. Continue reading

Jon Kitna Counts To 10, Receives Cookie

Jon Kitna made a bold prediction last year by predicting 10 wins for the 2007 season. He didn’t do himself any favors by saying that his “expectations” are 10 wins this season. He later mentioned that every player should have those expectations, but sadly Kitna is the only one that seems to make the 10-win declarations. I think the only person that feels as strong as Kitna about their team is Joe “The Lions Are Decent” Pasquali, his picture is at the end of the article.

Kitna better worry more about keeping his job than counting wins this season. Since Mike Martz left to go to San Francisco, this offense will be in need of a more consistent, conservative quarterback. Jim Colletto is the Lions’ new offensive coordinator and he is known to run the ball, which is something Martz clearly didn’t know how to do. Kitna has some competition on the roster with Dan Orlovsky and Drew Stanton. He will likely share snaps in camp until a starter is named before the season.

Here is a picture of Joe, he looks as lost as Kitna does running the offense.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.