NHL Talk: Sedin Twins, Pancakes & Cowboy Carey Price

Two hockey guys talking hockey.

There weren’t many games last night, but the guys have some video highlights of the action and play devil’s advocate with the Montreal Canadiens’ Stanley Cup chances.

Joe Pasquali and Eddie Theisen are two diehard NHL fans. They both watch every hockey game every night (almost). Neither have a girlfriend. This is their email conversation the following morning.

BYOMS…Bring Your Own Maple Syrup.

Final Scores 2/4/13

CAR 4, TOR 1
DAL 3, COL 2
PHX 2, MIN 1
ANA 2, SJS 1

Pasquali: Happpppy Tuesday, Eddie. And more importantly, happy National Pancake Day. I know you are excited.

Theisen: I am stoked, but you obviously know who’s more excited for National Pancake day don’t you?

Pasquali: …….

Theisen: L.A. Kings’ own Dustin Penner, of course.

Pasquali: Haha, I completely forgot about that. His wife must make some mean pancakes. Well, now ex-wife. Marriage is a fragile, fickle thing, Edward…

Theisen: One minute you’re chewing on a pancake and the next minute you’re on the IR from a fucking pancake.

Pasquali: Dangerous world out there…. Oh well, now to on ice drama. With the exception of Carolina/Toronto, every game last night was decided by one goal. Some exciting hockey! In the biggest game of the night, Anaheim handed San Jose their first regulation loss of the season with a 2-1 win.

Theisen: Some good hockey indeed. Leave it to the Leafs to be the only game not to be decided by one goal.

San Jose had a 1-0 lead for about half the game and then Anaheim netted two third period goals for the 2-1 win. The most important thing to come out of that game may have been the goaltending situation we now have in Anaheim. Viktor Fasth played great for the ducks last night, making 25 saves and only letting in one goal. Fasth is now 3-0 in his rookie season, with a GAA of 1.30 and a SV% .946

How do you not stick with this kid right now if you’re Anaheim?

Ducks Hand Sharks First Regulation Loss

Pasquali: Well, he is a 30 year old rookie, which you don’t see every day. But this guy is no fluke. After spending plenty of seasons playing in his native Sweden, he finally garnered some attention after being called up to the Swedish National team in 2011. He went nuts in the 2011 World Championships, posting a 1.71 GAA average and being named the tournament MVP (Sweden lost in the Gold Medal game).

Anaheim looks to have two great goalies, which is bad news for the rest of the West. I do agree though, I think you stick with him or at least give him more games.

Theisen: Hiller is 3-1-1 this season but has a SV% of .871 and a GAA of 3.54. Right now I’d stick with Fasth until he cools down. Also, in San Jose we could have a goalie that sees more starts now. Thomas Greiss is proving his worth in San Jose so far with a GAA of 1.01 and SV% of .964. Even though I think they’ll stick with Antti Niemi, I could see them giving Greiss more starts this season.

Pasquali: With this sprint of season, rotating quality goalies is going to be key to winning games in back to back nights. We talked about Ray Emery stepping up for Chicago over the weekend. I guess we shouldn’t be surprised these three teams all appear to be three of the best teams in the league.

Theisen: I still think you’d have to go with the Blues for best goaltending tandom in the league with the small sample size we’ve seen so far.

Pasquali: Yeah, Halak and Elliott have had a great start as well. Lots of good goaltenders in the Western Conference. Elsewhere out west last night, we saw Milan Hejduk get a goal in his 1,000 game, but it wasn’t enough as the Stars won 3-2 over the Avs.

Theisen: It seemed that the time that Jamie Benn missed due to his contract dispute didn’t slow him down at all. He put up 2 goals and an assist last night, by far the best player on the ice for either team. Check out the stick steal and goal he had in the first.

Jamie Been Steals Puck and Scores 02/04/13

Theisen: I think the Avalanche have to be missing their captain Gabriel Landeskog. You think he’s a bigger piece to this team than we thought?

Pasquali: They are definitely missing him, but as we touched on yesterday the biggest issue for the Avs is their powerplay. They are last in the NHL, and what makes matters worse is they have the best PIM differential in the league at +50. This means they always have more power plays than their opponent, but they can’t cash in.

Theisen: They definitely seem to be one of those rare teams that look better 5 on 5 than on the power play. Maybe when Landeskog returns, he’ll be the missing link to the Power Play. Av’s fans can only hope.

Pasquali: Vancouver came back from a 2-0 deficit and avenged their earlier season loss to the Oilers, but they needed OT to do it. Do you think Vancouver has taken a step back? Or Edmonton is that much better? Mix of both?

Theisen: I believe it is a mix of both. Oilers are obviously much better than last year already and the Canucks seemed to not have the elite status we’ve seen them gain the last two seasons, winning two straight President’s Trophies. Luongo has been impressive though. He stoned Taylor Hall on a Penalty Shot in OT last night, which led them to their eventual OT win. Luongo was without a doubt, the best Canuck last night

And how about those Sedin twins last night? Some sick passes back and forth and then giving it to Chris Tanev for his first career NHL goal in OT.

Chris Tanev First NHL Goal and Overtime Winner

Pasquali: The Sedin’s have an unreal ability to always know where each other are. Great goal in OT by Tanev, sniped it right into the corner.

Eddie, it was brought to my attention yesterday that in our weekend recap we gave no love to the Montreal Canadiens. A storied franchise that this year is off to a great start at 6-2, and won both their games over the weekend.

Theisen: They must be winning the Cup this year then correct?

Pasquali: Well, today we are going to do our first segment of Good Fan, Bad Fan. Today, I’ll play the bad fan and give you 5 reasons Montreal will NOT win the cup this year. I need you to channel your inner Hab and give me 5 reasons they will.

Theisen: Five?? I am struggling to think of two…. OK, here goes.

Five reasons the Montreal Canadians will the Stanley Cup

1) Only team to need a French speaking coach, they offer Rosetta Stone to non-speaking personal of the Canadiens… First Class organization.

2) Twenty-four fucking banners…. that is all

3) Tomas Kaberle is an elite NHL D-Man. He has an assist in his first 6 games of the year so far and is showing how deadly he can be offensively.

4) Alex Galchenyuk is the next “Rocket”. The kid has 1 goal and 6 assists in his first 8 games as a Hab. Obviously he’s going to break a ton of Montreal records and go down as one of the all-time greats.

5) They chant O’le to get the Habs fired up… it obviously has worked in recent years.

Pasquali: Those are all good reasons Eddie. But, after hours of extensive research, I give you….

Five reasons the Montreal Canadians will NOT win the Stanley Cup

5. Quality up front – Your current point leaders are two defenseman (Markov and Diaz, both with 8 points) and your first line of Desharnais, Cole, and Pacioretty has 13 points. Total. There are five current players who have more points than your first unit. In big games, who is going to get a goal for this team when they need it? Where is the world class sniper or playmaker? I am looking at this roster and trying to find one. I see a lot of young guys and role players.

4. Coaching- Michael Therrien became the head coach of Montreal for the 2013 season after taking a couple years off. Why the vacation? Because he was fired from the Penguins during the 2008-2009 season. In his best season in Pittsburgh, they reached the Stanley Cup final only to lose to Red Wings. Before landing in Pittsburgh Therrien was coming off another vacation. The reason this time? Being fired from MONTREAL in 2003. He already coached in Montreal, went 77-77-37 and got canned 10 years ago.

3. They lost to Toronto 2-1 on the very first game of the year. Toronto sucks. Which means Montreal sucks.

2. Celine Dion- Reportedly a huge Canadiens fan and was rumored to even be buying the team in 2009. Celine Dion blew up in the 90’s and especially in 1997 with the amazingly terrible “My heart will go on.” Montreal has not won a Stanley Cup since 1993. For those of you who think “OK, the universe had to punish Montreal for Celine Dion, I get that. But, Titanic was like 15 years ago. They have suffered enough.” Titanic was re-released this last year in 3D. Enjoy another 20 seasons without a Cup Montreal.

1. Carey Price – Yes, Carey Price is my #1 reason the Canadiens will not win the Cup in 2013. Where do I start…. OK, let us look at this photo of Mr. Price and let’s notice a couple things.

First, Carey Price is apparently a cowboy. In case you did not know fans, cowboys do not have a great track record of being quality hockey players. The last great hockey player that was in fact a cowboy as well was Dwayne Robertson, and that was almost 20 years ago.


Second, children are obviously afraid of Carey Price. Don’t think this is a big deal? Look at this photo of last year’s Conn Smythe winner Jonathan Quick. Is that child afraid? Nope.


Now you may be asking yourself, why is that child scared of Carey Price? He seems like a nice enough guy and plays some pretty good goalie. If so, you did not see the news that surfaced in December when Mr. Price brutally killed an innocent coyote. Yes, that picture is of Price and a friend posing with their kill while sporting some huge ass assault weapon. Montreal, you want a goalie that people are not terrified of.

In closing, Montreal may have some holes on their roster, unproven coaches, and a tough division, but that all is secondary to the real reason they won’t win it all in 2013. Until Montreal parts ways with the very scary, large gun toting, cowboy Carey Price, they will not win the Stanley Cup.

Theisen: Wow. You clearly spent way too much time on that and you have no idea what you’re talking about when it comes to the Habs.

Pasquali: I just search out the facts Eddie. Sometimes the truth is hard to look at.

Theisen: Idiot.

Pasquali: We have ten glorious games to look forward to tonight. Which game or games are you most excited about?

Theisen: I think the best 3 games to watch will be Rangers vs Devils, Lightning vs Flyers and Predators vs Blues

Pasquali: No Hawks v Sharks??? The top two teams in the Western Conference standings??

Theisen: I don’t think it will be a top 3 game to watch because the Sharks played the Ducks last night in a tight one, and I think they’ll be too tired to give the Blackhawks a true battle.

Pasquali: Good point. And it does show there are some great match ups tonight. You going to watch them with a big pile of pancakes at your side?

Theisen: I’m more of a Waffle guy.

Pasquali: Yeah me too. They are the safer choice.

Pasquali’s Picks (season so far 15-22)

Rangers over Devils
Penguins over Islanders
Capitals over Toronto
Kings over Jackets
Senators over Sabres
Lightning over Flyers
Red Wings over Flames
Jets over Panthers
Blues over Predators
Hawks over Sharks

Theisen’s Picks (season so far 18-19)

Rangers over Devils
Penguins over Islanders
Capitals over Toronto
Jackets over Kings
Senators over Sabres
Lightning over Flyers
Red Wings over Flames
Jets over Panthers
Blues over Predators
Hawks over Sharks

By: TwitterButtons.com

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

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