Category Archives: snarky

35 Snarky Reasons To Watch Every Bowl Game

There are 35 college football bowl games this season and to be honest, not all of them are worth watching. I do my best, or worst, to try and convince everyone to tune into every bowl game this season. I use cheerleader quality, famous alumni, Justin Bieber lookalikes, and Hawaiian shirts to coax you. Also, I added a picture of the USC song girls, just because you know you will miss them this bowl season.

New Mexico Bowl: December 18th: BYU vs. UTEP – This game is hard to promote. Jenn Brown is the sideline reporter and it could be funny to hear her try to attempt to pronounce BYU’s Kalama Kaluhiokalani.

uDrove Humanitarian Bowl: December 18th: Northern Illinois vs. Fresno State – NIU’s head coach left to coach Minnesota and Fresno State was destroyed the last time they played on the blue turf. I suggest drinking until the blue turf starts to look like a lake and you think you’re watching a water polo match.

R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl: December 18th: Ohio vs. Troy – Justin Bieber plays wide receiver for Troy.

Beef ‘O’ Brady’s St. Petersburg Bowl: December 21st: Southern Mississippi vs. Louisville – Man Law #345 – If a bowl game is sponsored by meat, you must watch.

MAACO Las Vegas Bowl: December 22nd: Utah vs. Boise State – You may see a few Utah fans head explode just from being in Las Vegas.

S.D. County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl: December 23rd: Navy vs. San Diego State – Drink every time Craig James says something that makes you want to punch him…you’ll be blacked-out by halftime.

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl: December 24th: Hawaii vs. Tulsa – Although nothing will beat the year Notre Dame played in this bowl and Charle Weis sported an Hawaiian shirt, it’s always funny to see head coaches look like extras from an episode of Magnum P.I.

Little Caesars Bowl: December 26th: Florida International vs. Toledo – The legendary broadcast team of Dave Lamont, JC Pearson & Quint Kessenich will announce this game, enough said.

AdvoCare V100 Independence Bowl: December 27th: Air Force vs. Georgia Tech – The triple-option versus the triple option…quarterbacks might just want to sit this game out.

Champs Sports Bowl: December 28th: West Virginia vs. NC State – The over/under on the amount of WCW’s NwO Wolfpac t-shirts in crowd will be at 30.5…and those will just be from West Virginia wrestling fans.

Insight Bowl: December 28th: Missouri vs. Iowa – Okay, nothing to watch here, the country is still laughing that a team that lost to Minnesota made a bowl game.

Military Bowl Presented By Northrop Grumman: December 29th: East Carolina vs. Maryland – Ralph Friedgen will eat any ECU player that crosses his sideline.

Texas Bowl: December 29th: Illinois vs. Baylor – Baylor fans have a short trip and their fans should outnumber Illinois fans, should feel like a home game for Ron Zook.

Valero Alamo Bowl: December 29th: Oklahoma State vs. Arizona – I would just DV-R this game and watch Mike Gundy’s “I’m A Man, I’m 40” rant on YouTube for 3 hours…could be more entertaining.

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl: December 30th: Army vs. SMU – June Jones takes his SMU team to play Army in the Armed Forces Bowl. What is Jones biggest regret? Leaving Hawaii or arguing with Jeff George?

New Era Pinstripe Bowl: December 30th: Kansas St vs. Syracuse – The announcers will spend more time talking about the Yankees signing Derek Jeter than the actual game.

Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl: December 30th: North Carolina vs. Tennessee – Butch Davis versus Derek Dooley: A chess match! Okay, maybe it will be more like checkers.

Bridgepoint Education Holiday Bowl: December 30th: Nebraska vs. Washington The nation finally realizes that Jake Locker is over-rated while Mel Kiper stands on the sideline with a boner for him.

Meineke Car Care Bowl: December 31st: South Florida vs. Clemson – Florida area & Southern belle cheerleaders…ESPN should just have a split-screen with the game and the sideline.

Hyundai Sun Bowl: December 31st: Notre Dame vs. Miami – I can’t wait for all the awesome highlights from Warren Sapp, Raghib Ismail, Tony Rice, Rick Mirer, Bernie Kosar, and Michael Irvin. This game should have an 80’s night promotion.

AutoZone Liberty: December 31st: Georgia vs. UCF – The eBay bidding for A.J. Green’s jersey has no reserve and you can start your bidding now.

Chick-fil-A Bowl: December 31st: South Carolina vs. Florida State – Jimbo Fisher should wear a Bobby Bowden mask on the sideline so Steve Spurrier will call bonehead plays and lose.

TicketCity Bowl: January 1st: Northwestern vs. Texas Tech – Can we renamed this the “Hangover Bowl”? Northwestern’s QB, Dan Persa, is out and the only shot the Wildcats have of beating the Red Raiders if an SAT test is the actual 4th quarter.

Outback Bowl: January 1st: Florida vs. Penn State – Joe Paterno may actually think he’s playing the game in the Outback. The Gators should use a kangaroo as their mascot to really throw him off.

Capital One Bowl: January 1st: Alabama vs. Michigan State – The best two teams that aren’t in a BCS bowl game. But we all know what usually happens when an SEC team plays against the Big Ten. Richardson and Ingram will score more times than co-eds on New Year’s Eve.

Gator Bowl: January 1st: Mississippi State vs. Michigan – Remember when pundits were giving Denard Robinson the Heisman trophy after three games? He may need another amazing game to save Rich Rodriguez’s job. If Michigan is down at the half, RichRod could be watching from a sports bar.

Rose Bowl Game presented by VIZIO: January 1st: Wisconsin vs. TCU – Wisconsin’s rushing attack versus TCU’s stingy defense. TCU will be Little Mac and Wisconsin is King Hippo. The key here is to hit him in the stomach when Bret Bielema opens his mouth.

Tostitos Fiesta Bowl: January 1st: Connecticut vs. Oklahoma – There’s really only one reason to watch this game, hoping that UConn grad Molly Qerim attends the game and Fox shows her in the stands.

Discover Orange: January 3rd: Stanford vs. Virginia Tech – The last time Virginia Tech had this big of a game, they were beaten by Boise State. Andrew Luck is better than anyone on BSU, sorry Va Tech may have trouble in this one.

Allstate Sugar Bowl: January 4th: Ohio State vs. Arkansas – Ohio State vs. Michigan rivalry will be storyline in this game. Ryan Mallett played his freshman year against the Buckeyes, completing one pass for eight yards. Call me crazy, but he will have better numbers in this game.

GoDaddy.com Bowl: January 6th: Middle Tennessee vs. Miami (Ohio) – Tune in the game, watch for the commercials.

AT&T Cotton Bowl: January 7th: LSU vs. Texas A&M – Barrett Bailey, Patrick Peterson, Jordan Jefferson, David Detz, Jarred Joseph, Terrence Toliver, and Lazarius Levingston. LSU’s team is sponsored by alliteration. Sounds like characters in a Dr. Seuss book.

BBVA Compass Bowl: January 8th: Pittsburgh vs. Kentucky – Dave Wannstedt was fired and Kentucky’s head coach is named Joker. He may try the “pencil trick” to the new Pitt coach.

Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl: January 9th: Nevada vs. Boston College – Kyle Brontzman will not be attendance.

Tostitos BCS National Championship Game: January 10th: Oregon vs. Auburn – Cecil Newton has big money riding on this game, courtesy of the Auburn University football boosters. Also, at this point, Oregon could wear jerseys that resemble the World League’s Orlando Thunder.

By: TwitterButtons.com
Feel free to “Like” my blog on Facebook or click the Facebook box located within the sidebar.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

How A Woman Nearly Took The "Sweet" Out Of Good Ole’ Sweetbob

I usually try to keep my personal life out of this blog, but I have to explain my hiatus from updating this blog. I owe it to the readers who have been loyal to me over the last 2 1/2 years. I am ready to lay everything out on front street and move on. I promise that this will be my only post about my personal life. I’m sure the next post will be something about how the Chicago Cubs have ruined my life or how much I hate the Steelers. This should be a pretty epic post. Enjoy!

I don’t know where to begin exactly, but I dated a girl for almost two years. It was a fun time, mostly, but it was kind of jacked for a good portion. I did a lot of writing during the time of our relationship and I grew this blog into a something that I was proud of. The blog went from maybe 100 readers a day to a few thousand a day and being linked by Sports Illustrated and few other well-known websites. Well, in February of this year, we broke up and I lost my motivation to write. I didn’t see how I could write about the lighter side of sports and make my readers laugh, when I was having a hard time focusing on anything going on in my daily life. My ex hated that I would write and it would take time away from time with her. I blamed my writing for the demise of my relationship. I had obligations with Fanball to write about the Indiana Pacers and Columbus Blue Jackets. Those posts became harder and harder to write, I was suffering from an extreme case of writer’s block. I went out and purchased books on the subject, I tried yoga, I ran out of things to cure the block. It was affecting many parts of my life, it was a complete creativity block. I decided that I had to completely step away from my online writing activity so I can work on myself.

I started writing a fiction book about a year or so ago. I’ve went through different ideas and pitched a lot of material, because I couldn’t really get going on it at all. I hated everything that I would put down on paper. I was stuck at the brainstorming level and I needed a change of scenery. I decided to find a bar in the area that wasn’t busy, so I could write in a place away from my desk. It was a Friday night and in Columbus, Ohio, it was a difficult task to find a bar that wasn’t packed. I decided to go to a small bar near my place, that decision was the beginning of the end of my writer’s block. I met someone that was interested in what I was doing and has really became a motivator to move on with the pursuit of my writing career. Well, a few days ago, she wanted me to write her something, because she has never read anything that I have written. It took me a few hours, but I finally got enough nerve to put some things on paper and it was an avalanche of ideas and emotion. Since I have written that for her, I’ve had a rush of creativity and new ideas. I’ve had a creativity boner for the past few days, think I should consult my physician?

I have had small hiatuses on this site and I have explained each one to my readers. There have not been any of them quite this long and I hope that this will be my last hiatus of any length. I realize that I am not solving life’s problems with my writing, I just hope to give a snarky view of the world of sports and maybe some posts on betting lines (for entertainment purposes only, wink wink). I am not a sports betting handicapper, but I have always received positive feedback on my posts in the past.

I want to thank everyone for the kind words of encouragement and questions I have received on Twitter about when I am going to return to the blog. I just want to thank some of my friends that have been supportive in any way over the last few months. I want to list them (sorry this may bore you, but I promise you that there will be a payoff at the end of this post). I want to thank James, Kris1010, Peter, George, Laura, Amanda, Liz, Carrie, PJ (who needs Twitter), Cheryl, Fought, Carlos, Aron, ChadBev, Ryan & Chrissy, Laurie, Mehg, Bryan & Heather, Stuckey, my family, my blogger amigos, and Kriston, who helped me a few months ago and I’m not sure if I would be in this current state if I didn’t walk into her bar on April 23rd, 2010. I probably missed a few people, for that I am sorry. A special thanks goes out to the entire #beerfamily, you have all helped me. I am glad that I drove to Granville, OH a few months ago, it has changed my life for the better.

Well, that’s all the emo shit that this site can handle. Time to be snarky and do something that would have pissed off my ex. She hated when I would post pictures of beautiful woman and especially anything related to Katy Perry. She claimed that I had a crush on her. First, who doesn’t? Second, I know my readers enjoy my random pretty lady pictures I like to throw into a post. Here goes nothing and thanks again for your continued support, enjoy!

By: TwitterButtons.com
Feel free to “Like” my blog on Facebook or click the Facebook box located within the sidebar.

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.