This is one of my favorite posts to do every year, but due to all the knowns about the college football season at this point last year, we didn’t compile a list. We are happy to bring this back this year and debut some new names.

What makes a great college football name?

A good litmus test is if it works as a potential pro wrestling name, it works in college football. It also works if a name sounds like a verb, phrase, a certain body part or just a bad ass football name that makes them sound tough.

We went through every team in the top two divisions in the NCAA. We went through ever single name and picked out the ones that were funny and some names we just wish we had.

My name is Bobby Roberts, so of all the people who can write a post poking fun at names, it’s me. I’m always asked if my real name is Robert Roberts (it’s not) or if my name is fake (it’s not).

Here is the 2022-23 college football All-Name team.

– Quarterbacks –
General Booty – Oklahoma Sooners
Hamp Fay – Michigan State Spartans
Chubba Purdy – QB – Nebraska Cornhuskers
Eli Brickhandler – North Carolina A&T Aggies
Quest Powell – North Carolina Central Eagles
Dresser Winn – UT-Martin Skyhawks
Trapper Pannell – Sam Houston Bearkats

– Running Backs –
Russian Williams – Liberty Flames
Nemo Squire – East Carolina Pirates
Cookie Desiderio – Tulsa Golden Hurricane
Wise Segars Jr. – Clemson Tigers
British Brooks – North Carolina Tar Heels
C’Bo Flemister – Pittsburgh Panthers
Caden Kock – Iowa State Cyclones
Major Everhart – TCU Horned Frogs
Mister Chavis – UTEP Miners
Kavosiey Smoke – Kentucky Wildcats
Tuna Altahir – Eastern Washington Eagles
Fudge Woods – Houston Baptist Huskies

– Wide Receivers –
Decoldest Crawford – Nebraska Cornhuskers
Ajou Ajou – South Florida Bulls
Phat Watts – Tulane Green Wave
Tripp Mitchell – Baylor Bears
Jordan Kumm – Iowa Hawkeyes
Joop Mitchell – Ohio State Buckeyes
Zion Steptoe – Purdue Boilermakers
Money Parks – Utah Utes
Sellers Shy – Ole Miss Rebels
O’Mega Blake – South Carolina Gamecocks
Chas Nimrod – Tennessee Volunteers
Squirrel White – Tennessee Volunteers
Boogie Knight – UL-Monroe Warhawks
Jig Williams – Rhode Island Rams
Cash Goodhart – Princeton Tigers
Gunnison Bloodgood – Morehead State Eagles
C’ing Blanton – Texas Southern Tigers

– Tight Ends –
Jihad Edmond – Bryant Bulldogs
Jaeger Bull – Wake Forest Demon Deacons
Skylar Loving-Black – San Jose State Spartans
Messiah Swinson – Arizona State Sun Devils
D. Major Roman – Yale Bulldogs
Henry Woodcock – Indiana State Sycamores

– Offensive Line –
Kobe Sixkiller – Southeast Missouri State Redhawks
Dartanyan Tinsley – Cincinnati Bearcats
Ugonna Nnanna – Houston Cougars
Panda Askew – Charlotte 49ers
Tater Reid – UAB Blazers
Thor Paglialong – Air Force Falcons
Tiger Shanks – UNLV Rebels
Bear Old – Montana State Bobcats
Bussy Remaley – Robert Morris Colonials
Gavin Proudfoot – Northern Iowa Panthers

– Defensive Line –
Logologo Va’a – UTEP Miners
Yaya Diaby – Louisville Cardinals
Jaylen Pickle – Kansas State Wildcats
Fish McWilliams – UAB Blazers
Judge Culpepper – Toledo Rockets
Thunder Keck II – Stanford Cardinal
Tonka Hemingway – South Carolina Gamecocks
Jacob Halfacre – Butler Bulldogs
Goodness Nwawuihe – Sam Houston Bearkats

– Linebackers –
Memorable Factor – Duke Blue Devils
Popeye Williams – Louisville Cardinals
Aristotle Bowles – NC State Wolfpack
Power Echols – North Carolina Tar Heels
Hunter Zenzen – Iowa State Cyclones
Justice Cross – Florida Atlantic Owls
Henry To’oTo’o – Alabama Crimson Tide
Bumper Pool – Arizona Razorbacks
Chief Borders – Florida Gators
Brodrick Gooch – Appalachian State Mountaineers
Fa’Avae Fa’Avae – Idaho Vandals
Aladdin Elroumy – VMI Keydets

– Secondary –
Jayden Littlejohn – Lindenwood Lions
Tommy Bestpitch – Holy Cross Crusaders
Justice Ugo – Houston Cougars
Greedy Vance – Florida State Seminoles
Myles Mooyoung – Miami (FL) Hurricanes
Major Byrd – North Carolina Tar Heels
Storm Duck – North Carolina Tar Heels
Comanche Francisco – Charlotte 49ers
Pig Cage – UTSA Roadrunners
Logic Hudgens – Buffalo Bulls
Capone Blue – Kent State Golden Flashes
New Zealand Williams – San Diego State Aztecs
Prophet Brown – USC Trojans
Kool-Aid McKinstry – Alabama Crimson Tide
Major Burns – LSU Tigers
D-Icey Hopkins – Georgia State Panthers
Denim Day – Louisiana Ragin’ Cajuns
Woo Governor – Northern Iowa Panthers
Maverick Gamble – Merrimack Warriors
Midnight Steward – Samford Bulldogs
Yirmyah Yirmyah – Florida A&M Rattlers
Triumphant Olatunji – Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks

– Special Teams –
Tucker Barefoot – K – UL-Monroe Warhawks
Caleb Brickhouse – P – North Carolina A&T Aggies
Hunter Sweat – K – Stetson Hatters
Max Quick – P – Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks
Maximilian Von Marburg – P – Syracuse Orange
Isaac Power – P – Baylor Bears
Trey Smack – K – Florida Gators

– All Nepotism Team –
Marvin Harrison – WR – Ohio State Buckeyes
Joey Porter Jr. – CB – Penn State Nittany Lions
Willie Taggart Jr. – QB – Florida Atlantic Owls
Warren Sapp II – LB – Florida Atlantic Owls
Peter Warrick Jr. – S – Florida Atlantic Owls
Ron Powlus III – QB – Notre Dame Fighting Irish
Adam Vintieri Jr. – K – Ball State Cardinals
Chad Johnson Jr. – WR – Arizona State Sun Devils
Dana White III – S – San Diego Toreros
Frank Gore Jr. – Southern Miss Golden Eagles

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About the Author…

Bobby Roberts (otherwise known as Sweetbob) is the creator of ‘America’s White Boy’ and contributor at Project Shanks. His writing has been featured on ESPN’s ‘SportsNation’, Sports Illustrated’s Hot Clicks, Guyspeed, and various other sites. You can follow him on Twitter at @Sweetbob.