It’s that time of the year, again!

What makes a great college football name?

A good litmus test is if it works as a potential pro wrestling name, it works in college football. It also works if a name sounds like a verb, phrase, a certain body part or just a bad ass football name that makes them sound tough.

We went through every team in the top two divisions in the NCAA. We went through ever single name and picked out the ones that were funny and some names we just wish we had.

My name is Bobby Roberts, so of all the people who can write a post poking fun at names, it’s me. I’m always asked if my real name is Robert Roberts (it’s not) or if my name is fake (it’s not).

Here is the 2018-19 college football All-Name team.

– QUARTERBACKS –
Rip Kirk – Mississippi State Bulldogs
Chad President – Tulsa Golden Hurricane
Seth Boomer – Tulsa Golden Hurricane
Re-al Mitchell – Iowa State Cyclones
Legend Brumbaugh – Maryland Terrapins
Chance Thrasher – Coastal Carolina Chanticleers

– RUNNING BACKS –
Tupac Isme – Bethune-Cookman Wildcats
Mulbah Car – Houston Cougars
Lyn-J Dixon – Clemson Tigers
Pooka Williams Jr. – Kansas Jayhawks
Ryan Haymaker – Oklahoma State Cowboys
Mason McHorse – Texas Tech Red Raiders
Jake Funk – Maryland Terrapins
Squally Canada – BYU Cougars
Zack Boobas – Army Black Knights
Chuby Dunu – Cal Poly Mustangs

– WIDE RECEIVERS –
Yo’Heinz Tyler – Ball State Cardinals
Jake Bobo – Duke Blue Devils
Maurice Ffrench – Pittsburgh Panthers
Wooby Theork-Younmans – Virginia Cavaliers
Charleston Rambo – Oklahoma Sooners
Jack Powers – TCU Horned Frogs
Lil’Jordan Humphrey – Texas Longhorns
Whop Philyor – Indiana Hoosiers
Obi Obialo – Marshall Thundering Herd
Papi White – Ohio Bobcats
Justice Bean – Texas A&M Aggies
Chichi Amachi – Delaware Blue Hens
Dock Luckie – Florida A&M Rattlers
Czar Beneby – Savannah State Tigers
Sugar Ray Wyche – Morehead State Eagles
Bingo Morton – Chattanooga Mocs

– TIGHT ENDS –
Slay Wild – Wofford Terriers
Joey Magnifico – Memphis Tigers
Alize Mack – Notre Dame Fighting Irish
Brandon Junk – Akron Zips
Maximilian Thrower – Northern Illinois Huskies
Ceejhay French-Love – Arizona State Sun Devils
Jace Frisbee – Appalachian State Mountaineers
Attorney Gallman – The Citadel Bulldogs

– OFFENSIVE LINE –
Kobe Buffalomeat – Illinois State Redbirds
Bunchy Stallings – Kentucky Wildcats
Tiller Bucktrot – Tulsa Golden Hurricane
Ye’Majesty Sanders – Jacksonville State Gamecocks
Clay Greathouse – Tulsa Golden Hurricane
Peace Addo – Duke Blue Devils
Jack Coco – Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets
Dylan Deatherage – Western Michigan Broncos
Boss Tagaloa – UCLA Bruins
C.J. Toogood – Elon Phoenix
Cubby Schuller – Yale Bulldogs

– DEFENSIVE LINE –
Jaylen Pickle – Kansas State Wildcats
Fish McWilliams – UAB Blazers
Tommy Doctor – Charlotte 49ers
Alli Alliu – Old Dominion Monarchs
Almosse Titi – UMass Minutemen
Montez Sweat – Mississippi State Bulldogs
Sincere David – Ole Miss Rebels
Shy Tuttle – Tennessee Volunteers
Pouono Faaagi – Cal Poly Mustangs
Moses Ale – Sacramento State Hornets
Stormy Mosteller – Gardner-Webb Bulldogs
Ayo Shogbonyo – Illinois Fighting Illini

– LINEBACKERS –
Bumper Pool – Arkansas Razorbacks
Justice Dingle – Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets
Billy Nipp – New Mexico State Aggies
Thunder Keck – Stanford Cardinal
Fa’avae Fa’avae – Washington State Cougars
Jake Fire – Rhode Island Rams
BJ Blunt – Mcneese Cowboys

– DEFENSIVE BACKS –
Max Magnum – Harvard Crimson
Justice Hunt – Bethune-Cookman Wildcats
Jhonny Quest – Marist Red Foxes
Rock Ya-Sin – Temple Owls
Hamp Cheevers – Boston College Eagles
Lummie Young IV – Duke Blue Devils
Fofie Bazzie – Maryland Terrapins
Rachad Wildgoose – Wisconsin Badgers
Picasso Nelson Jr. – Southern Mississippi Golden Eagles
Capone Blue – Kent State Golden Flashes
Ken-H Lovely – Western Michigan Broncos
Juju Hughes – Fresno State Bulldogs
Smoke Monday – Auburn Tigers
Greedy Williams – LSU Tigers
Pop Bush – New Hampshire Wildcats

– SPECIAL TEAMS –
Ivy Wall – Southeastern Louisiana Lions
Jamie Sackville – SMU Mustangs
Bubba Baxa – Miami Hurricanes
Dom Maggio – Wake Forest Demon Deacons
Casey Legg – West Virginia Mountaineers
Jet Toner – Stanford Cardinal
Chance Poore – Kentucky Wildcats

– PRACTICE SQUAD OF JUVENILE HUMOR –
LB Jeff Woodcock – UConn Huskies
RB Richard (Dick) Worship – Purdue Boilermakers
CB John Sweetwood – Syracuse Orange
LB Sam Sizelove – Kansas State Wildcats
OL Hunter Littlejohn – Indiana Hoosiers
WR Blaze Moorhead – UTSA Roadrunners
DE My-King Johnson – Arizona Wildcats
LS Riley Lovingood – Tennessee Volunteers
S Jack Fagot – Louisville Cardinals
LB Damon Woodcock – Hampton Pirates
RB Unique Johnson – North Carolina A&T Aggies
LB Dorien Gooch – Samford Bulldogs
RB Rod Johnson – The Citadel Bulldogs
LB Danny Ho – Abilene Christian Wildcats

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About the Author…

Bobby Roberts (otherwise known as Sweetbob) is the creator of ‘America’s White Boy’ and contributor at Project Shanks. His writing has been featured on ESPN’s ‘SportsNation’, Sports Illustrated’s Hot Clicks, Guyspeed, and various other sites. You can follow him on Twitter at @Sweetbob.