After last year’s Wrestlemania 33, a marathon of mediocrity, I didn’t have high expectations for Wrestlemania 34.

The previous night’s NXT Takeover: New Orleans show was one of the best overall shows WWE has ever produced, so I came into this year’s Mania with some apprehension.

Why was I a bit weary about this Mania?

First off, I knew it was going to be a seven-hour show (if you include the pre-show) and I didn’t want to hold Wrestlemania up to the high standard of the NXT Takeover events. It should be the opposite as NXT guys are still learning to wrestle ‘WWE style’ and the main roster guys should be the ones blowing the roof off at shows.

Did Wrestlemania 34 disappoint or did it rank among the best Wrestlemania shows of all-time?

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

This match should have been called the ‘Lower Card Battle Royal’ as there were only a few guys who get matches on pay-per-views. It took forever for guys to be eliminated. This might have been the longest Andre the Giant battle royal in its short history. They just brawled and were taking their sweet time as they had about 20+ minutes to waste on the pre-show.

The first noticeable spot was R-Truth and Goldust having a short dance-off. Goldust turned on him and threw him out. Goldust was actually one of the few people that got over in this match. He even did his Shattered Dreams spot to Tye Dillenger and tried to do it again, but was thrown out.

The finish saw Matt Hardy vs the two previous Andre winners, Baron Corbin and Mojo Rawley. Corbin and Rawley teamed up on Hardy and looked like he was going to be thrown out. The screen flashed and the lights went out and Bray Wyatt is in the ring. Wyatt helped Hardy get the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal victory. SPLENDID!

Cedric Alexander vs Mustafa Ali for Cruiserweight Championship

I don’t watch much stuff on 205 Live, but I’m very familiar with these guys. I wasn’t feeling the ‘Soul’ vs ‘Heart’ storyline they were trying to push. I’m pretty sure the soul of the old 205 Live was Enzo Amore, so that brand has no soul at the moment. This storyline could be done in like a year after Triple H rehabs the Cruiserweight division.

As soon as I heard Ali was going to be in this match, I was waiting for him to pull off a Spanish Fly. He did it in the Cruiserweight Classic and was really the only reason I remembered him before he started to appear on 205 Live. The dude is talented as hell.

The match got more physical and each guy kicked out of finishers. Ali tried for his inverted 450 splash (the 054) for a second time and missed. Alexander then took control and wanted Ali to just stay down. He then connected with a stiff chop.

Alexander than hit the Lung Blower and for the pin to win the vacant Cruiserweight Championship.

Women’s Battle Royal

WWE appeared to have called their shot as the only three women to get entrance music were Becky Lynch, Bayley & Sasha Banks. Out of the 20 women, it looked like it was going to be one of those three.

This battle royal didn’t take as long as the men’s, but was much more eventful. There was an international feel to the NXT ladies who appeared in this match. The countries of Australia (Peyton Royce), Brazil (Taynara Conti), New Zealand (Dakota Kai), Japan (Kairi Sane), India (Davita Kavi) and the United States (Bianca Belair) were all represented by the NXT women.

It looked like the match was down to Bayley, Sasha, Natalya & the Riott Squad at the end. Bayley & Sasha teamed up for a minute to eliminate the Smackdown girls. Bayley then realized that it was just her and Sasha and threw her out.

Welp, apparently Naomi was outside the ring and was never eliminated. She hit the rear-view on Bayley and threw her out. Naomi won the ‘first’ WWE Women’s Wrestlemania Battle Royal.

The Miz (c) vs Seth Rollins vs Finn Balor for Intercontinental Championship

I don’t watch ‘Game of Thrones’, so I didn’t immediately get that Seth Rollins entrance was supposed to looked like he was the Night King villain from the television series. It was a cool look, especially with the blue eyes.

Speaking of entrances, I was a little bummed that Finn Balor didn’t come out as the ‘demon’, but I guess WWE is trying to get Finn over as a cool guy when he’s not in the paint. He hasn’t portrayed the demon since last Fall.

I had high expectations for this match since Balor and Rollins recently had a good match on RAW. The inclusion of The Miz would probably knock it down a few pegs, but I didn’t think it would be a huge detriment. Unfortunately, this match was not as good as their RAW match.

They had a few high spots with Balor breaking up a Miz pin with a Coup de Grace. Which was a preview of how Rollins would break up a Balor pin with a Blackout. He would then hit a Blackout on The Miz to become the Intercontinental Champion and also becoming a WWE Grand Slam Champion.

Charlotte Flair (c) vs Asuka for RAW Women’s Championship

This match pretty damn good. I thought it would be, but seeing that it was the second match on the main card, I was a little worried. Would they be given the opportunity and time to pull off a great match? 

Asuka and Charlotte wrestled a stiff match with a lot of reversals. Each would tease a submission and Charlotte tried a flip off the top ropes, but landed into an Asuka submission…it was beautiful.

The pair also pulled off a Spanish Fly from the turnbuckles. I haven’t seen a female in WWE ever attempt this move. They pulled it off and was a nice peak in the match.

Charlotte was selling her arm, but was still able to get up for the Figure Eight submission on Asuka. After being in the hold for awhile, Asuka had to give in and tapout, thus ending her undefeated streak.

After the match, Asuka took the microphone and said, “Charlotte was ready for Asuka.” It was a nice touch and laid the plans for what Shinsuke Nakamura did later.

Randy Orton (c) vs Rusev vs Jinder Mahal vs Bobby Roode for U.S. Championship

This match was in a bad spot on the card. It was probably the match with the least amount of heat. Rusev came out to a huge ‘Rusev Day’ pop, but the cheers were stagnant the rest of the match. No one was over by a large degree in this one. Although, another surprise did happen at the finish.

Jinder Mahal was a 9.5 to 1 underdog to win this match and he pinned Rusev after hitting the Khallas. I guess they are still trying to get Mahal over…even though his gyno nipples were horrible tonight.

Kurt Angle & Ronda Rousey vs Triple H & Stephanie McMahon

I thought this match was going to end up much later on the card, so seeing it fourth was a huge surprise. Triple H and Stephanie came out on motorcycles with an escort of women on motorcycle in front of them. It was a cool scene. Steph even took part in Hunter’s water spit entrance spot.

Ronda Rousey and Kurt Angle came out next and both received huge pops. Rousey came out in gear to pay homage to the late great Roddy Piper. It was a great touch to further get Rousey over with the WWE audience.

I didn’t have high expectations for this match, but it was freaking great. I thought it was going to go heavy on the ‘entertainment’ aspect of sports entertainment. There were some big spots and everything flowed very well. Rousey’s moves were fluid and looked like a damn natural in there.

I thought Triple H & Kurt Angle would take 90% of the match and only let Ronda and Steph do a few spots to get a pop and ESPN still-shot. Well, the ladies were in this match a lot more than I thought. Hell, Ronda even got an armbar on Triple H at one point.

Ronda kept trying to get the armbar on Steph and she somehow kept getting out of it (which is a bit ridiculous, but I’ll let it slide). Angle was able to take over Triple H and Steph was left alone with Ronda. Rousey got the armbar and was able to break Steph’s grip and got it on as Steph immediately tapped.

The Usos (c) vs New Day vs Bludgeon Brothers for Smackdown Live Tag Team Championship

This match was put in the death spot. It wasn’t really meant to be a great athletic bout as it was made to just get over the Bludgeon Brothers. They have been killed the Usos and New Day on Smackdown Live and they were able to take out both teams pretty early in this match.

The finish came when the Bludgeon Brothers were able to hit a assisted powerbomb off the topes for the win.

It was a popcorn/bathroom match.

John Cena vs Undertaker

Cena was a fan for a period of time this Wrestlemania. After Charlotte beat Asuka, a referee came out and told Cena that the Undertaker was there.

Well, Cena came out this time with his music and fanfare, but the same referee came out again and said something to Cena. He wasn’t happy at all. It appeared like maybe Taker left. The lights go out and WHO IS READY TO WALK WITH ELIAS! Total heel move…it was great.

Elias started to run down the fans and made fun of Cena. He then ate an Attitude Adjustment. Cena was walking to the back when the lights went out and Taker’s gear appeared in the ring. A lightning strike hit and it disappeared. TAKER IS COMING OUT.

The match wasn’t special at all. Take finished him off in roughly five minutes. I guess you don’t call out Take unless you want your soul in a hole.

There was a funny spot where Cena was going for the Five-Knuckle Shuffle when Take did his sit up. It wasn’t long until Taker finished him off with a Tombstone. I wonder if this is setting something up down the line.

Daniel Bryan & Shane McMahon vs Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn (if KO & Zayn win, they are reinstated)

Kevin Owens and Zayn were major heels with Daniel Bryan getting the mega babyface pop. It didn’t take long for the heels to take out Bryan with a powerbomb on the apron. We then get like ten minutes of Shane McMahon wrestling…ugh.

The heels nearly finished off Shane, but Bryan was able to come back in to make the save. He then hit all his spots. He even hit the missile dropkick off the top rope, then sold as if he hit is head. He then showed that he was okay by doing a kip up.

Shane hit a coast-to-coast on Zayn at some point in this frenzy. I’m not sure when, but he was actually able to hit it in his condition.

Bryan hit the running knee on Zayn and made him tap to the Yes Lock. I assume this means they Owens/Zayn will be going over to RAW?

Alex Bliss (c) vs Nia Jax for RAW Women’s Championship

This match was this year’s ‘public relations stunt’ match. They focused on bullying and body shaming. The bullies (Alexa and Mickie) were going to get theirs.

Nia made early work of Mickie James by getting her out of the way so she wouldn’t interfere. She flung her around and then hit a Samoan Drop on the outside. Alexa looked very worried at this point.

Alexa couldn’t do much with Nia. She tried to take out her knees and would claw at her face to get out of moves. Nia was eventually able to climb to the top rope with Alexa on her shoulders and hit a Samoan Drop. Alexa was squashed and Nia Jax is the new RAW Women’s Champion!

A.J. Styles (c) vs Shinsuke Nakamura for WWE Championship

Everyone thought this match was going to be the best thing on Wrestlemania 34. They met at Wrestle Kingdom 10 when they were both in New Japan Pro Wrestling. The match was epic and they should have stolen this show this year. Unfortunately, the match wasn’t the best.

The match was still good, but my expectations were sky-high. The basically used the match as the start of a long-term program. I know they have an epic match in them, but looks like we may get it at the next couple pay per view shows.

The finish saw Nakamura go for the Kinshasa, but Styles was able to roll him and they ended up in the Styles Clash. Styles was able to get the win.

After the match, Shinsuke hugged Styles and grabbed the belt from the referee. He got on his knees, bowed and handed the belt to Styles. He was still on his knees and crotched Styles. He then proceeded to kick him and then hit the Kinshasa on the outside.

Pretty nice heel turn. I’m looking forward to Heel Nakamura in WWE.

Sheamus & Cesaro (c) vs Braun Strowman & Mystery Partner for RAW Tag Team Championship

This is where the show came off the rails.

WWE has been teasing Braun needing a partner to contend for the RAW tag titles. They decided to hold off on that decision until the actual event. My expectation was that he would pick the Warrior Award winner kid or even call out James Ellsworth since Strowman didn’t need any help. Well, other fans thought he was going to bring out a returning superstar. He instead picked out a kid from the audience to be his tag team partner.

I feel ya, Sheamus…we all feel ya.

Strowman made quick work of The Bar and was able to win the belts without any help from Nicholas, the kid. 

The crowd was never the same again.

Brock Lesnar (c) vs Roman Reigns for Universal Championship

The crowd wanted nothing to do with this match. They booed Roman and Brock got a half-half response. It started out with Roman hitting Brock with five Superman punches. They then tried to break a couple tables, but couldn’t get them to break.

Brock then took control and was ragdolling Roman around with suplexes. I think he hit at least a dozen suplexes on Roman in this match.

The crowd was chanting for beach balls and still didn’t care for the match.

 

Brock was able to hit four F5s on Roman and still couldn’t get the win. Brock took his gloves off, mounted him and hit him with some stiff elbows that opened him up. Roman was leaking red all over. It looked like the blood was bringing out something wild in him for a minute as he hit a spear, but couldn’t get the win.

Brock was able to hit a final F5 and retain the Universal Championship in a shocker.

I guess Brock re-signed with the WWE for an unknown period of time. Brock and Reigns will be facing each other in a cage match at the special Royal Rumble match in Saudi Arabia.

Wrestlemania 34 was a pretty darn good Mania. It could have been epic if it were about two hours shorter. They could have cut the fat and the show could have been right up there as a top-five Wrestlemania. It fell short of that mark, but I would still recommend giving it a watch (so you can fast-forward through the bad stuff).

Follow us on Twitter @Sweetbob & ‘LIKE’ us on Facebook!

About the Author…

Bobby Roberts (otherwise known as Sweetbob) is the creator of ‘America’s White Boy’ and contributor at Project Shanks. His writing has been featured on ESPN’s ‘SportsNation’, Sports Illustrated’s Hot Clicks, Guyspeed, and various other sites. You can follow him on Twitter at @Sweetbob.