NHL Talk: Blue Jackets, Rick DiPietro & Manhood Bets


Two hockey guys talking hockey.

Joe Pasquali and Eddie Theisen are two die-hard NHL fans. They both watch every hockey game, every night (almost).

The guys talk about the Blue Jackets big win, if corn on the cob is underrated, Jovanovski swag and they say goodbye to Rick DiPietro.

After reading yesterday’s NHL Talk, I mixed Apple Cinnamon Cheerios with Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes. The concoction was better than I imagined. It could be a cheap go-to when I’m looking to perfect the mixology of breakfast cereals.

This is their email conversation the following morning.

Final scores from 3/7/13
BOS 4, TOR 2
NYR 2, NYI 1, F/OT
PIT 5, PHI 4
WAS 7, FLA 1
MTL 4, CAR 2
WPG 2, TMB 1
DET 3, EDM 0
STL 6, PHX 3
DAL 5, LAK 2

Pasquali: Happy Friday, Eddie!

Theisen: Happy Friday, ya filthy animal.

Pasquali: Red Wings had a solid 3-0 win last night, Jimmy Howard picking up his second shutout of the season. I would guess even with the impending doom of you getting kicked in the balls, that cheered you up.

Theisen: I’m glad Detroit is getting these two points in regulation against teams chasing them. The day of the Colorado game, I thought Detroit needed to go 4-0-1 in their next 5 games to make the playoffs. They’re 2-0-0 so far in the 5 game stretch. Red Wings next two games are against Columbus Saturday and Sunday… which yours truly will be at the Saturday matinee.

Pasquali: Very nice! Then you already have a great weekend planned. Speaking of Columbus, for some crazy reason you picked them to win last night AND THEY DID. Matt Calvert scored in OT and they beat Vancouver 2-1. Cannons were fired! Hundreds of people cheered! IT WAS CRAZY. They didn’t get free chili, but Jackets fans had to be excited about that one. Biggest win of the year for Columbus.

Theisen: I knew the Jackets would pull it out. The Canucks have been playing less than mediocre lately with a 3-3-4 record in their last 10 and Columbus has been on somewhat of a good stretch recently. Too bad the city of Columbus couldn’t celebrate properly with some free chili.

Pasquali: Maybe they should change their policy to every time the Jackets win fans get free chili? There have been a few times in the last few years (not that many) that Columbus has won 2-1 games, or 3-2 shootout wins, etc. where they win but they get no chili. On the other side, they have lost games like last season’s 6-3 loss to Edmonton at home where they get destroyed but the fans get free chili. As a fan, eating chili (even free) after your team gets beaten has to be a little less satisfying.

Theisen: I think it should be free corn on the cob.

Pasquali: Haha what? Why?

Theisen: Because corn on the cob could be the greatest thing on the planet.corn_on_the_cob+costume

Pasquali: Did you just take a puck to the head? Corn on the cob is good, but nowhere near the greatest thing on the planet. Hell, it is not even the greatest “corn thing” on the planet. I put cornbread and cornflakes above it.

Theisen: You’re high.

Pasquali: You’re drunk. And I am surprised, nay, shocked you love corn on the cob so much. I figured your favorite thing in the world would be like beer or cookie dough or something.

Theisen: Enough fat jokes already.

Pasquali: Putting words in my mouth, I know plenty of slim people that enjoy cookie dough.

Theisen: Do you think Rick DiPietro sits at home and eats cookie dough while contemplating suicide.

Pasquali: He has had a lot of dark times, but who hasn’t for the Islanders? And maybe he needs more cookie dough, I mean who can be sad while eating cookie dough?.

Theisen: The Islanders fell on hard times last night. Blowing a late 1-0 lead to the Rangers and then eventually losing in OT. Rick Nash has been unbelievable in his short time in New York.

Pasquali: Yeah, he started the year slow but Rick Nash is starting to look like his old self. He had a goal and assisted Gaborik’s game winner. The Rangers dominated this game and really Nabokov kept the Islanders in this thing. After going 0-3 on their power play in regulation, it was the Rangers 4th power play that go them the winner.

Theisen: That’s the best game I’ve seen Nabokov play since he was with the Sharks. That was a much needed two points for the Rangers as they currently sit 8th in the Eastern Conference.
Another team with a disappointing loss last night was the Flyers. Do you think Philly will miss the post season?

Pasquali: Yes actually I do. I would predict Philly finishing 10th this year, just one spot up from where they currently lie. I think Washington will jump them, but they should finish higher than Winnipeg or the Islanders. SHOULD. This team is underachieving and needs some major changes. They are at Boston tomorrow night, so expect that losing streak to get to 3 games.

Theisen: I can predict this team. They’re 3 points out of 8th right now, but the Rangers have 3 games in hand on them. So it could be looked at as technically 9 points out. This team is too talented for me to think they’ll miss the playoffs and they have one of the best coaches in Peter Laviolette. It does look more and more that they’ll miss the playoffs though. The Jets have a better shot than the Flyers right now.

Pasquali: The Devils ended their slide with a 3-2 shootout win over lowly Buffalo last night. Vanek got his 13th goal of the year and Ryan Miller picked up the loss even though he didn’t allow a goal. Jhonas Enroth left the game with a leg cramp with a minute to play and Miller had to fill in, stopping all 4 shots he faced in OT. However, Buffalo lost the shootout and Miller went down with the L.

Theisen: I don’t know how Jhonas Enroth still has an NHL job, even as a backup. He’s been absolutely terrible the past couple of seasons and that game tying goal he gave up with a minute left was a horrendous rebound.

Pasquali: Haha yeah that was terrible, he said that was the play he felt his leg cramp up and couldn’t move. Still, I have seen beer league goalies make better stops than that. On the topic of bad goalies, my Florida Panthers go destroyed 7-1 by a hot Capitals team last night. Scott Clemmensen got pulled after allowing five goals, then Jacob Markstrom allowed 2 goals on the ONLY TWO SHOTS HE FACED. That is some box score.

Theisen: It’s like the Panthers were on a field trip or something. After the game they were going to see all the monuments and go to famous DC restaurants. They just showed up for the game because they had to.

Pasquali: That isn’t the Panthers team I know! Panther nation has to be outraged that their team had such a performance. Season ticket holders should be up in arms today, demanding more from this team. With the talent they have there is no excuse for that kind of play. They should be wiping the floor with teams like Washington.

Theisen: You tell em, Joe, all 34 season ticket holders should go down to Bank Atlantic Center and protest. Or at the very least throw some rats.

Pasquali: I am glad I got that off my chest, I was about to throw something in my office. Did you know Florida has been outscored 31-7 in their last seven games in Washington?

Theisen: With Eddie Jovanovski as their defensive weapon, how could that happen?

Pasquali: Dude, you can get an Ed Jovanovski autographed puck from when he was in Vancouver. 29.99! And no one has bid on it yet!

Three days left, do you think Ed will just go on to NHL Auctions and buy his own puck when it gets down to the clock running out?

Ed Jovanski hockey auction

Theisen: I’d buy it for a KFC Variety Box. You kind of have to don’t you? You can’t make it look like no one wants your autograph.

Pasquali: Exactly. As we speak there are auctions ending today for signed gear for the following players. Joe Sakic, Guy Lafleur, Phil Kessel, Corey Perry, Marian Gaborik, and Ray Bourque. Yet, some dumb asshole bid 169.99 on a signed Corey Crawford stick. That’s just…. wrong.

Theisen: How do you not bid on Guy “The Flower”? At least show some pride and bid on something of Ray Bourque. You’d have to pay me to possess a Corey Crawford stick… and not just because I’m a Red Wings fan, just because he’s terrible

Don’t let his record this year fool you, he’s actually quite bad.

Pasquali: Even though you picked against them ONCE AGAIN, my Canadiens beat Carolina last night 4-2. The Subbanator had a goal, Carey Price stopped 41 shots, and Montreal killed 8 penalties. THEY ARE A GOOD HOCKEY TEAM. Why do you keep picking against them?

Theisen: Because that’s my God given right. I don’t respect any team that has their fan base chant O’le.

Pasquali: Such a hater. Dallas beat a hot Kings team last night 5- 2 to create a four way tie for 5th place in the west. Yes, currently the 5-8 seeds all have 26 points. Los Angeles, San Jose, Dallas, and St. Louis. Do all four of them make it? If not, who is dropping out?

Theisen: I think Phoenix gets in and St Louis drops out. Before the year I said they weren’t making the playoffs and I have to stick by that. I figured their goaltending tandem would come down to earth and it has. Halak’s injury hasn’t helped and Brian Elliot came back to the form we’re used to seeing from him. There’s just something about Phoenix that intrigues me.

Pasquali: Phoenix is a tough team to figure out, they have been the last few years. They beat Anaheim two out of three, then get destroyed by St. Louis. They play Dallas and LA the next two, so the West should be shaking up. Chicago is running away with the West, but 2-8 seeds should be fun as always.

Theisen: Should be a lot of shaking up before the season’s done. We still got half a season. What’s on your agenda this weekend? It’s International Women’s day today!!!

Pasquali: Oh yes, International Womens Day! How could I forget? I guess I’ll buy one of my sisters or my mom something. Think they’d want an autographed puck?

Theisen: I think some chocolate would be more appreciated.

Leave the kitchen meme

Pasquali: Hahaha are you going to call your mom or sister? I’m sure they’d love to hear from you.

Theisen: They have a restraining order on me, I must be 200 feet away at all times.

Pasquali: Oh yeah, I forgot about last Halloween…

So yeah no big weekend plans, wish I could go to the game. Make sure to represent.

Theisen: I always represent the Winged Wheel well. If the Jackets put up 3 I’ll give you my free chili.

Pasquali: Sweet. So you watching the Hawks game with your friend you made the bet with?

Theisen: No, going to Indy tonight and gonna party up before Columbus tomorrow. My nuts will be safe for at least a couple of days that way.

Pasquali: Sounds like a plan! Tell your brother hi for me and…. Go Hawks?

Theisen: LET’S GO AVS!!!

Pasquali: He said with all of his heart and soul.

(Blogger note: Eddie Theisen made a bet a couple weeks ago that if the Hawks got to 25 games before a regulation loss, a friend of his (who is a Chicago fan) gets to kick him in the testicles. They are 21-0-3 currently, playing Colorado tonight)

Pasquali’s Picks (season so far 133-115)
Rangers over Senators
Jets over Panthers
Predators over Oilers
Blackhawks over Avalanche
Ducks over Flames

Theisen’s Picks (season so far 133-115)
Rangers over Senators
Jets over Panthers
Predators over Oilers
Avalanche over Blackhawks
Ducks over Flames

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