Houston’s Latest Insane Trade Proposal for Dwight Howard

Houston Rockets general manager Daryl Morey is slowly going insane.

He has been trying to acquire Orlando Magic center Dwight Howard for months. The amount of trades he has offered/completed in order to gain pieces to entice the Magic would make any man snap.

It doesn’t make Morey’s job any easier when Howard publicly announces that he would only sign an extension with the Brooklyn Nets.

Well, ESPN reported that Morey is about to propose the Magic an offer they can’t refuse. How much can Houston afford to offer a team for a player who has no intentions on staying more than one season?

Want to know what Morey is offering? Check it out after the jump…

The rumored offer is so lopsided and ridiculous that it is hard to believe that a GM would ever offer this deal.

Orlando Magic would receive: Kevin Martin, Patrick Patterson, Marcus Morris, Chandler Parsons, Jeremy Lamb, Royce White, Terrence Jones, and at least two future first-round & second-round draft picks, AND Toronto’s 2013 first-round pick (potential lottery pick).

Houston Rockets would receive: Dwight Howard, Jason Richardson, Glen Davis, Chris Duhon, and Hedu Turkoglu.

Let that offer sink in for a few seconds.

…WHAT THE HELL, DARYL?!

Houston would be sending the Magic a top-of-the-rotation guy (Martin), their last two draft classes, and their next few drafts will be worthless without first-round picks.

What’s sad is that I really like what the Rockets did in this year’s NBA draft. Lamb, White, and Jones are NBA-ready and could all be rotation guys in their rookie season. They would be throwing it away for a shot at convincing Howard that Houston is where he belongs.

Houston would just receive Howard, who may only stay one season, and a bunch of deadweight contracts. The Magic will have a clean slate to rebuild the team in the post-Howard era.

I have a feeling that Morey was a nerd in high school. He probably had a crush on the head cheerleader (Dwight Howard). He would stay at home and think up scenarios in which she would agree to go on a date with him. He finally put together the absolute perfect plan in which he would ask her out and there would be no chance she would say no. The plan would consist of Morey riding to school in a carriage with white horses. He would be dressed in a tuxedo with tails and have a dozen roses ready to give to her (trade entire team for Howard). He would ride in front of the entire school, gives her the roses and ask her out…she would say ‘yes’ (Dwight agrees to play one season with Houston). They would go out on a date, it goes alright, and he would drop her off at home at the end of the date. He would assume that a second date is right around the corner and his life is perfect (Howard contract extension).

Well, Morey wasn’t aware that the entire school was laughing at him when pulled up in a horse-driven carriage (every NBA GM & fans). The head cheerleader said yes because she didn’t want to seem like a bitch. Also, after their date, the captain of the football team was in her driveway waiting to sneak up to her room (Brooklyn Nets).

This is a move that can and will get a general manager fired. If this deal goes through and Howard doesn’t sign an extension, he will be responsible for two separate GMs losing their jobs (Orlando’s former GM Otis Smith was fired after the season).

Everyone knows that Morey is a smart guy. He speaks at the Sloan Conference at MIT every year about using advanced metrics in sports. He is helping to pave the way by relying on new statistics to build a professional basketball team…but, I don’t see how he could argue that this trade is logical by using statistics to back it up. “Dork Elivs” is getting a little too cute and maybe the eyeball test is all someone needs to know that this is a horrible deal.

I feel sorry for Rockets fans. You have a GM who clearly has a gambling problem and he’s playing with your money. This would truly be a ‘Dwightmare’ for Houston.

By: TwitterButtons.com

A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

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