35 Snarky Reasons To Watch Every Bowl Game

There are 35 college football bowl games this season and to be honest, not all of them are worth watching. I do my best, or worst, to try and convince everyone to tune into every bowl game this season. I use cheerleader quality, famous alumni, Justin Bieber lookalikes, and Hawaiian shirts to coax you. Also, I added a picture of the USC song girls, just because you know you will miss them this bowl season.

New Mexico Bowl: December 18th: BYU vs. UTEP – This game is hard to promote. Jenn Brown is the sideline reporter and it could be funny to hear her try to attempt to pronounce BYU’s Kalama Kaluhiokalani.

uDrove Humanitarian Bowl: December 18th: Northern Illinois vs. Fresno State – NIU’s head coach left to coach Minnesota and Fresno State was destroyed the last time they played on the blue turf. I suggest drinking until the blue turf starts to look like a lake and you think you’re watching a water polo match.

R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl: December 18th: Ohio vs. TroyJustin Bieber plays wide receiver for Troy.

Beef ‘O’ Brady’s St. Petersburg Bowl: December 21st: Southern Mississippi vs. Louisville – Man Law #345 – If a bowl game is sponsored by meat, you must watch.

MAACO Las Vegas Bowl: December 22nd: Utah vs. Boise State – You may see a few Utah fans head explode just from being in Las Vegas.

S.D. County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl: December 23rd: Navy vs. San Diego State – Drink every time Craig James says something that makes you want to punch him…you’ll be blacked-out by halftime.

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl: December 24th: Hawaii vs. Tulsa – Although nothing will beat the year Notre Dame played in this bowl and Charle Weis sported an Hawaiian shirt, it’s always funny to see head coaches look like extras from an episode of Magnum P.I.

Little Caesars Bowl: December 26th: Florida International vs. Toledo – The legendary broadcast team of Dave Lamont, JC Pearson & Quint Kessenich will announce this game, enough said.

AdvoCare V100 Independence Bowl: December 27th: Air Force vs. Georgia Tech – The triple-option versus the triple option…quarterbacks might just want to sit this game out.

Champs Sports Bowl: December 28th: West Virginia vs. NC State – The over/under on the amount of WCW’s NwO Wolfpac t-shirts in crowd will be at 30.5…and those will just be from West Virginia wrestling fans.

Insight Bowl: December 28th: Missouri vs. Iowa – Okay, nothing to watch here, the country is still laughing that a team that lost to Minnesota made a bowl game.

Military Bowl Presented By Northrop Grumman: December 29th: East Carolina vs. Maryland Ralph Friedgen will eat any ECU player that crosses his sideline.

Texas Bowl: December 29th: Illinois vs. Baylor – Baylor fans have a short trip and their fans should outnumber Illinois fans, should feel like a home game for Ron Zook.

Valero Alamo Bowl: December 29th: Oklahoma State vs. Arizona – I would just DV-R this game and watch Mike Gundy’s “I’m A Man, I’m 40” rant on YouTube for 3 hours…could be more entertaining.

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl: December 30th: Army vs. SMU – June Jones takes his SMU team to play Army in the Armed Forces Bowl. What is Jones biggest regret? Leaving Hawaii or arguing with Jeff George?

New Era Pinstripe Bowl: December 30th: Kansas St vs. Syracuse – The announcers will spend more time talking about the Yankees signing Derek Jeter than the actual game.

Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl: December 30th: North Carolina vs. Tennessee – Butch Davis versus Derek Dooley: A chess match! Okay, maybe it will be more like checkers.

Bridgepoint Education Holiday Bowl: December 30th: Nebraska vs. Washington The nation finally realizes that Jake Locker is over-rated while Mel Kiper stands on the sideline with a boner for him.

Meineke Car Care Bowl: December 31st: South Florida vs. Clemson – Florida area & Southern belle cheerleaders…ESPN should just have a split-screen with the game and the sideline.

Hyundai Sun Bowl: December 31st: Notre Dame vs. Miami – I can’t wait for all the awesome highlights from Warren Sapp, Raghib Ismail, Tony Rice, Rick Mirer, Bernie Kosar, and Michael Irvin. This game should have an 80’s night promotion.

AutoZone Liberty: December 31st: Georgia vs. UCF – The eBay bidding for A.J. Green’s jersey has no reserve and you can start your bidding now.

Chick-fil-A Bowl: December 31st: South Carolina vs. Florida State – Jimbo Fisher should wear a Bobby Bowden mask on the sideline so Steve Spurrier will call bonehead plays and lose.

TicketCity Bowl: January 1st: Northwestern vs. Texas Tech – Can we renamed this the “Hangover Bowl”? Northwestern’s QB, Dan Persa, is out and the only shot the Wildcats have of beating the Red Raiders if an SAT test is the actual 4th quarter.

Outback Bowl: January 1st: Florida vs. Penn State – Joe Paterno may actually think he’s playing the game in the Outback. The Gators should use a kangaroo as their mascot to really throw him off.

Capital One Bowl: January 1st: Alabama vs. Michigan State – The best two teams that aren’t in a BCS bowl game. But we all know what usually happens when an SEC team plays against the Big Ten. Richardson and Ingram will score more times than co-eds on New Year’s Eve.

Gator Bowl: January 1st: Mississippi State vs. Michigan – Remember when pundits were giving Denard Robinson the Heisman trophy after three games? He may need another amazing game to save Rich Rodriguez’s job. If Michigan is down at the half, RichRod could be watching from a sports bar.

Rose Bowl Game presented by VIZIO: January 1st: Wisconsin vs. TCU – Wisconsin’s rushing attack versus TCU’s stingy defense. TCU will be Little Mac and Wisconsin is King Hippo. The key here is to hit him in the stomach when Bret Bielema opens his mouth.

Tostitos Fiesta Bowl: January 1st: Connecticut vs. Oklahoma – There’s really only one reason to watch this game, hoping that UConn grad Molly Qerim attends the game and Fox shows her in the stands.

Discover Orange: January 3rd: Stanford vs. Virginia Tech – The last time Virginia Tech had this big of a game, they were beaten by Boise State. Andrew Luck is better than anyone on BSU, sorry Va Tech may have trouble in this one.

Allstate Sugar Bowl: January 4th: Ohio State vs. Arkansas – Ohio State vs. Michigan rivalry will be storyline in this game. Ryan Mallett played his freshman year against the Buckeyes, completing one pass for eight yards. Call me crazy, but he will have better numbers in this game.

GoDaddy.com Bowl: January 6th: Middle Tennessee vs. Miami (Ohio) – Tune in the game, watch for the commercials.

AT&T Cotton Bowl: January 7th: LSU vs. Texas A&M – Barrett Bailey, Patrick Peterson, Jordan Jefferson, David Detz, Jarred Joseph, Terrence Toliver, and Lazarius Levingston. LSU’s team is sponsored by alliteration. Sounds like characters in a Dr. Seuss book.

BBVA Compass Bowl: January 8th: Pittsburgh vs. Kentucky – Dave Wannstedt was fired and Kentucky’s head coach is named Joker. He may try the “pencil trick” to the new Pitt coach.

Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl: January 9th: Nevada vs. Boston College – Kyle Brontzman will not be attendance.

Tostitos BCS National Championship Game: January 10th: Oregon vs. Auburn – Cecil Newton has big money riding on this game, courtesy of the Auburn University football boosters. Also, at this point, Oregon could wear jerseys that resemble the World League’s Orlando Thunder.

By: TwitterButtons.com
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A Sports & Entertainment blog that focuses on absurdity in sports, snarky banter, updates on Tim Tebow’s virginity, and decent sports gambling advice.

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