I’m Officially Announcing My Candidacy To Be An NBA GM

Charles Barkley has came out recently that he wants a job being a general manager in the NBA. He hasn’t been the only person to lobby for this position. Deadspin recently wrote a review for Bill Simmons’ book, “The Book of Basketball,” and said it was a 700-page resumé to be an NBA GM. I guess since everyone else is doing it, why not me?

Dear NBA Owners,

My name is Bobby Roberts, but I am known around the internet as “Sweetbob.” I am writing you to officially announce my candidacy for a general manager position with one of your teams. I know that there are more qualified than me and probably know more about the game than me, but c’mon, it would be a fun gig!

Here is the scenario, remember the movie “Eddie” starring the great Whoopi Goldberg? It would be a real-life version, but hopefully a lot more entertaining. Once I am announced as your new general manager, just imagine all of the press that your team would get. I would be on big news programs like “ESPN’s First Take” or “Last Call with Carson Daly.”

I’m from Indiana, so I have that going for me. Larry Bird didn’t have any executive experience before he got the gig in Indiana and look what he’s done! He’s been the #9 seed in the East the last few years, what an amazing job he has done. I also went to an Indiana University affiliate, the same college that pumped out great NBA executives like Isiah Thomas and Mark Cuban.

I am throwing my hat in the ring for the same reason why Charles Barkley and Bill Simmons did…why not? It seems like a pretty easy job. I’m currently an accountant, so I can figure out salary cap numbers or if not, I can just try out trade on ESPN’s Trade Machine. I think everyone deserves a shot, maybe we should start a lottery system where everyone has a year to turn an NBA team around. Think about it, maybe you can use those ping pong balls that you use for the NBA Draft. Everyone deserves a chance to mess it up, right?

Sincerely,
Bobby Roberts

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