Why You Shouldn’t Draft These Players

Going into your fantasy football draft, you have a few players already planned that if they are available, you’re going to pick them. You may have an allegiance to them because they are on your favorite team or your favorite fantasy football analyst picked them to have a big year. If you’re on the fence about a few players, here are reasons why you shouldn’t pick certain players. I’m just talking you guys off the ledge, not pushing you off. All of these players will probably be great, but they all have possibilities of an epic fail this year.

Tom Brady – Did you see how his knee bent last year? Also, I’m pretty sure he’s using all of energy on Gisele Bundchen, wouldn’t you?

Aaron Rodgers – Before last season, he was known as “injury-prone,” one full season and that suddenly disappears?

DeAngelo Williams – Jonathan Stewart is a touchdown vulcher…even if he’s only 70% healthy, he’ll still get touches in the red zone.

Michael Turner – see DeAngelo Williams, but add in Tony Gonzalez as the touchdown vulcher.

Jay Cutler – It’s hard to throw a football with a pacifier in your mouth.

Peyton Manning – He spent the off-season filming commercials and Marvin Harrison is currently sitting on a couch somewhere.

Adrian Peterson – Brett Favre is in town and he’s the NFL version of Stephon Marbury, he’s a ball hog.

Donovan McNabb – He looks like he’s been eating a lot of Chunky Soup lately…probably an extra 15 pounds of beef and potatoes in his mid-section.

Matt Cassel – I hear Scott Mitchell called and he said that he wishes him the best this season.

Thomas Jones – He had more candles on his last birthday cake than touchdowns he has left in his career.

LaDanian Tomlinson – Emmit Smith looked good in a Cardinals uniform right? Jerry Rice was great for the Seahawks, right? Tomlinson will probably look good in a Texans uniform next year too.

Chad Pennington – Does he have any ligaments or tendons left in his arm?

Brian Westbrook – The Eagles have already ear-marked a spot on the injury report for him, right between Reggie Brown and Kevin Curtis.

David Garrard – If he can somehow be able to throw from his back, maybe he can throw a few touchdowns.

Maurice Jones-Drew – When Warrick Dunn went to the only option in the backfield he had his worst year.

Calvin Johnson – He should probably play quarterback and throw passes to himself.

Chris Johnson – LenDale White will eat him by Week 4.

Brandon Jacobs – You should probably pick him early or he will go to your draft and give you a power-bomb courtesy of Captain Insano.

Eli Manning – You may have a better year if you draft Archie.

Steven Jackson – Remember when he was a first-round pick? Back when the Rams played like an NFL team…it’s been awhile.

Kyle Orton – Did you see his pre-season games? That’s probably why he’s still available.

Matt Schaub – Do you think he will be healthy all year this season? Didn’t you ask youself that the last two seasons?

Marion Barber – I’m sure Felix Jones won’t take any touchdowns away from him this year…even though Jerry Jones is in love with him. Nah, go ahead and draft him, yeah….yeah.

Ben Roethlisberger – After getting punished last year by an awful offensive line pass protection, they have improved it right? No? Okay, stay away from Big Ben.

Kevin Smith – He plays for the Detroit Lions.

Tony Gonzalez – The Falcons were 31st in the NFL at throwing to the tight end last season.

Terrell Owens – He will be a contestant for “I Love New York” by mid-season. No one will notice that he is gone.

Brandon Marshall – An emotional, hot-headed, receiver always does well when their team is bad. I’m sure he will keep his composure and not demand a trade. Oops!

Trent Edwards – I’m glad that he has that Stanford degree to fall back on. I hear J.P. Losman already landed a new job.

JaMarcus Russell – Al Davis bet the farm on him, but he looks like he has eaten all of the animals.

Reggie Bush – Kim Kardashian broke up with him, his year has already started horribly, do you think its going to get better?

Larry Johnson – Todd Haley loves to pass the ball, the Arizona Cardinals running attack was putrid last year.

Willie Parker – Don’t turn around, Rashard Mendenhall is right behind you.

Chad Ocho Cinco – I’m sure all that UStream experience will be handy on the field.

Joseph Addai – When your team drafts a top player at your position, how do you take it?

Braylon Edwards – Maybe he will get an endorsement for “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter,” on top of his “5-Hour Energy” endorsment money.

Darren McFadden – He plays on a team where his coach broke the face of an assistant. Sounds like a good team atmosphere for a break-out season.

Michael Vick – A few months out of prison and all the pressure to perform well to resurrect his career…you think he’ll be pretty calm and clear-minded?

Brady Quinn – Express and Limited Corporations are located in Ohio, maybe he can pose for some modeling campaigns on the sideline when he’s holding a clipboard by mid-season.
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