I was watching Sportscenter a few days ago and I witnessed something that scared me, but it made me laugh. Brad Penny threw a 96mph fastball and it hit the umpire square in the chin. The upmire, Kerwin Danley, is an old guy and I can only imagine how much that hurt, but the way it happened was such a lazy mess. Russell Martin, the catcher and Whiteboy’s starting catcher on his fantasy team, just threw up his mitt to catch the ball so slow and lazy that he just clearly missed it. Now I’ve seen Penny’s fastball, a couple seasons ago he smoked Ichiro, Jeter, and Big Papi, 1-2-3, in the first inning of an All-Star game with stuff that clocked around 100mph. Luckily the umpire appears to be doing okay, but c’mon Martin, you’re making my fantasy team look bad. Next year I should get a few roto points for knocking an umpire out.If you really want to blame Penny for this, you can’t. The man is dating Eliza Dushku. Really?! Take a look at Penny, he is seriously 50lbs. and a cut-off shirt away from looking like Larry The Cable Guy. I can’t hate the man, I don’t want to take a fastball to the melon.